I want to leave but I have nowhere to go

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  • ccsmod15
    Super Moderator
    • Apr 2014
    • 2034

    #31
    Hi there,

    Thank you for writing to us here at National Runaway Safeline (NRS). We understand it takes great courage to reach out, and we appreciate you sharing a little bit about what’s going on. It sounds like you’re quite overwhelmed by things at home right now. It sounds like you’re fearing that the situation may end in suicide if things don’t change. Your safety and well-being is important. If you are at risk of any danger or feeling unsafe, we encourage you to reach out to 911 or seek emergency assistance immediately. The National Suicide Prevention Lifeline 1-800-273-TALK (8255); www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org is also a great resource to reach out to in addition to our crisis services.

    Often, having a safe space to share how you’re feeling may bring a variety of solutions previously not thought of. Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem. This may be an isolating and lonely time for you, but you are not alone in this. We want you to know that we are here as support to help you through this challenging time.

    If you would like to talk more in detail please call or chat soon. Our contact information is 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929); www.1800runaway.org (click on the chat button).

    We hope to hear from you soon.

    Be safe and stay strong,

    NRS
    Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

    National Runaway Safeline
    [email protected] (Crisis Email)
    1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)
    https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/YourOpinionMattersToUs

    Comment


    • #32
      I am 29 and I need to leave home. My mother has metastatic cancer and has completely lost touch with reality and it’s become abusive lately. I need to get out like yesterday. I’ve been kicked out three times and had the cops called on me twice. By my mother. For ********ing nothing. I have no other home, no family, and an income of $50 weekly from tutoring. I know I can secure a good job, but it’s impossible to feel like I am worth anything when all I’ve known is abuse. I don’t know what to do or where to go. I have Crohn’s disease and that makes it super complicated. I have to get out though. I’m not safe here.

      Comment


      • ccsmod15
        ccsmod15 commented
        Editing a comment
        Hi,
        Thanks for reaching out to us at the National Runaway Safeline. We are so sorry to hear things have been so tough at home.
        It definitely sounds like you are enduring some emotional abuse at home, and this is never okay. It is important you know that you do not deserve to be abused in any way, and that you should get to feel safe and comfortable at home. Of course, if you are ever in immediate danger, we recommend calling the police at 911.
        It sounds like you want to leave your current living situation but do not know where to go. If before you are able to secure a job with steady income you find yourself in need of housing, you can reach out to us at 1-800-RUNAWAY and we can look into adult shelters in your area. Much of our resources are geared towards youth in crises, but we do have some resources for adults as well. You can always look for homeless shelters yourself by going to homelessshelterdirectory.org.
        We hope that some of this information has been helpful. If you need something more, we encourage you to reach out to us at any time.
        Stay safe and stay strong,
        NRS

    • #33
      I need to leave and get out of the situation i'm in but I have no friends, no family and no money or tranportation to get around. I have a dog I love more than anything in the world who I don't want to leave behind but I need to leave this situation i'm in as soon as possible but have no idea where to start. It's winter and it's cold, I have no proper clothes to wear outside so i'm always freezing but if I stay home I am constantly abused mentally and physically. I need help please I just don't know where to go anymore for it and I feel so lost and alone and I just don't wanna feel that way anymore, please help me.

      Comment


      • ccsmod3
        ccsmod3 commented
        Editing a comment
        Thanks for reaching out to us here at National Runaway Safeline. We know that it can take a lot of courage to reach out for support, and we're glad you took that step. It sounds like you're in a pretty tough spot right now, and we're sorry to hear that things have been so difficult. You mentioned being physically and mentally abused at home, as well as not having the proper clothes to wear outside. While we understand that sometimes having access to basic essential needs (such as weather appropriate clothing) can be a challenge for families, we do not condone abuse in any fashion. You do not deserve to be constantly abused, whether mentally or physically. If you are feeling unsafe at home and/or are in imminent danger, please contact your local police department for support.

        If you're comfortable in doing so, you can also file an abuse report with your local Child Protective Services agency. You can locate their information by doing a quick Google search and including your state. If you disclose the abuse you're experiencing to a teacher or a doctor, they can also make this report for you. And if neither of the above are routes you'd like to go, you can reach out to us here at NRS and we can chat with you in more detail about what filing an abuse report looks like. We can also file it with you or for you. But generally speaking, when an abuse report is filed, an investigation begins. A caseworker may investigate the allegations of abuse, visit the home, meet with you and your family, and try to determine the best course of action to ensure your safety.

        If you'd like to chat more about your specific situation, discuss some of your options through, or move forward with filing a report, please feel free to reach out to us at 1-800-RUNAWAY or through our live chat at www.1800runaway.org. We're available 24/7 and are always happy to listen, and to help.

        Take care.

        NRS

    • #34
      Hello. I am 15 years old, I live in California, where it is not a crime for minors to runaway from home. I am sure a runaway report could still be filed on me to have me found and returned home. Legally, at the age of 14 and higher minors can get emancipated(in California). Emancipation is definitely something I'm looking into, but it would be very hard for me to be granted it and I believe part of the requirements are to prove your parents are okay with you moving out, which mine would definitely not be.

      My family life is bad, the relationships I have with my family members are so detrimental to my mental health that I need to do something about it. My mother especially. My parents have never physically abused me and are not alcoholics, but the emotional abuse is there. I feel like I am never enough for them and they make me feel like I am a horrible person. My mom constantly yells at me. Most days, the times she yells at me are the only verbal contact we have with each other. She yells at me from reasons including(but not limited to): school work, grades, chores, my choice of clothing, and comments I make. She also yells at me for no reason other than to take her anger out. She gets very angry. My father and I have a fairly decent relationship most of the time, but sometimes he just starts to yell at me about how awful I am to my sister(which I'm not) and how 'terrible he feels for my friends', 'if this is how I treat people I care about'. My mom has always been very restrictive over everything in my life, my friends, what shows/movies I watch, what websites I go on, the amount of time I'm online. Like, I mean, VERY restrictive. For example, I wasn't allowed to watch really any shows on Disney channel until I was 12. As for clothes, I can wear something that shows barely any skin(like maybe a half inch of my stomach) and she will tell me to change. I was going out with a friend once and my mom called me a wh*re to my face(and in front of my friend) for what I was wearing. Other than these few details, I would like to share one other huge piece. My parents have been blaming me for everything that happens in our family, so much so that even my relatives will get mad at me.

      All of this hurts me so much and the yelling triggers me and sends me into a panic(basically I will completely shut down, cry hysterically, dissociate, want to die, possibly even hyperventilate). There are even more reasons than what is listed here, but I don't want my response to be huge so.... Anyway, it has made me feels so frustrated and hopeless because I just can't live this way anymore. I can't live where I am afraid to go home, where my friend's mom praises me more than my own, where my friend's mom makes me feel more loved than my own, where I can't sleep or eat because of how sick I feel at home. I just want to run away. To live anywhere but here. I've made plans to leave before, but the timing was all wrong. I want to go now, I have money saved up, I know people who would probably take me in, but I feel like I would be doing them a disservice because it is possible they could get charged for harboring a runaway and I feel that my parents would find me too easily if I stayed with those people. I don't know where to go, honestly I would rather be homeless than live in my own house, but I don't know if I could survive living on the streets. I wouldn't be able to work, since I do not have a permit(I need to get one still). I am also female, which would most likely make things even more dangerous if I lived on the streets. Please, I'm begging you to give me some advice.

      Comment


      • ccsmod8
        ccsmod8 commented
        Editing a comment
        Hello there –

        Thank you so much for taking the time out of your day to reach out to us here at the National Runaway Safeline on our public forum. We are always here to listen and here to help in any way that we can.

        Now we aren't legal experts here and you might have already read on this forum thread about what could happen if you were to leave home before the age of majority. So we won’t get into that since you can find it fairly easily.

        It sounds like you might some specific questions that you want to ask us, look for some safe places nearby, or maybe find a place to vent about what you are feeling right now. It’s hard to talk to just anyone one about what has been going on. Please rest assured that we are completing confidential. So anything that you share with us will stay between us. We don’t ask for any identifying information, unless you want to report any abuse. You can chat with us by going to our website (www.1800runaway.org) and clicking on "chat".

        We certainly want to help you.

    • #35
      I’m 13 and I want to leave home, but if I runaway I would have no money no resources I wouldn’t make it out on the streets. Along with that I would constantly have to be on the move since I would technically be declared as missing. I just really wish I could find a way out this house. My sister is 17 and plans to leave the night of her 18th birthday, as soon as she can leave without any police report. I just don’t know what to do I can’t wait 5 whole years on this house, I am barely making it through the days. How am I going to last 5 whole years, and also without my only sibling?

      Comment


      • ccsmod15
        ccsmod15 commented
        Editing a comment
        Hi there,
        Thank you for writing to us here at National Runaway Safeline (NRS). We understand it takes great courage to reach out, and we appreciate you sharing a little bit about what’s going on. It seems there is a lot that you are faced with right now and you’re feeling like leaving is one of your only options. It seems you want to know some information on runaway laws.
        While we are not experts on the law, 18 is generally the age that an individual may leave home without parent permission. If you are under 18 and leave home, your parent/guardian may file you as a runaway and you may be returned home. Also, those you stay with may run the risk of being charged with harboring a runaway. For more specifics on the law, the local non-emergency police or legal aid may better answer legal questions.
        We are here as support to help through this challenging time. We can best help by phone or chat as NRS is unable to respond more than twice by email to assist you. If you would like to talk more in detail please call or chat soon.
        Our contact information is 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929); www.1800runaway.org (click on the chat button).
        If you are at risk of any danger or feeling unsafe, we encourage you to reach out to 911 or seek emergency assistance immediately.
        Be safe,
        NRS

    • #36
      I am only 13 and I have a sister (were both the same age) I have no where to go and my mom wants us out,non of my family members will take us in and I want to stay with my friends but I don't know how to tell them,and I don't think there parents would want to take me and my sister in cause they have kids of there own,on top of that I don't want to get them in trouble.

      Comment


      • ccsmod13
        ccsmod13 commented
        Editing a comment
        Hi there,

        Thank you for contacting NRS. It sounds like you are in a very difficult situation. We’re glad you reached out to us.

        No one deserves to be treated that way. It is your parent’s responsibility to provide a safe and supportive environment for you. If you feel you are in danger, you can always call 911.

        A potential resource is the Childhelp National Child Abuse Hotline at www.childhelp.org or 1-800-4-A-CHILD (422-4453). Childhelp is a 24-hour hotline with volunteers who can talk to you about your situation and provide resources that may be helpful to you.

        You could also consider contacting your local Division of Child Protective Services. If you are uncomfortable making the call, you can call us and one of our volunteers can make the call with or for you.

        You can also always call us at 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929). We have volunteers available 24/7 to talk and to help you find resources that may be helpful to you.

        We wish you the best!

    • #37
      Hey, im 14 things and I wanna run away, theres just so many problems and i just wanna go out on my own, i talked it out with my boyfriend but he told me i should stay and fight harder be patient but i just cant anymore i wanna do it but the problem is i have nowhere to go.

      Comment


      • ccsmod1
        ccsmod1 commented
        Editing a comment
        Hey there,

        Thanks so much for reaching out and sharing a little bit about what’s been going on, we know that it takes a lot of courage. It must be really hard to live in a home with so much tension. It sounds frustrating that your boyfriend was not able to give you the support you were looking for. Running away is a big decision and it can be very stressful to figure out what you want to do.

        If you’d like to go over what’s going on in depth, or if you’d like to explore other options that you may have available to you, please don’t hesitate to call us at 1-800-RUNAWAY. You can also chat us by clicking on the “CHAT” button on top of our homepage. We’re open 24/7 and here to listen and support you in any way we can.

        Stay safe,
        NRS

        We'd love to hear from you about your experience using our crisis forum. Your feedback plays an important role in helping us improve our services to support youth and families. Please click the link below to fill out our survey: https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/we_care_what_you_think

    • #38
      Hi, I am 25. I live in Chicago with my parents and all they do is abuse me. I need to move out but don't know where to go. I work full time but need to be around good people, and was wondering if you guys could help with me finding a place to live, preferably an inexpensive one. Thank you!

      Comment


      • ccsmod15
        ccsmod15 commented
        Editing a comment
        Hello there,
        Thanks for reaching out. You definitely do not deserve to be treated that way no matter how old you are. We can help you make a plan for how to deal with your situation and help you find resources to land on your feet. Having a plan for where you will live and how you will survive once you move out can be very helpful. Moving can be a huge step, and you don’t have to be alone. Some steps you can take towards independence might be to find employment if you don’t have an income, or to save up money for moving expenses. It can also be helpful to research rents in your area, find a roommate, or make a budget. Another thing you might want to consider is what kinds of things you depend on your parents for currently such as tuition expenses for school, or health insurance, and whether they would continue to provide those things after you leave. There may be social service agencies in your area that can help meet some of these needs, such as Transitional Living Programs, a kind of shelter where young adults can live and get services to help them transition to independent living. We are here to listen and help however we can. Please call or chat with us to speak with us further. Our number is 800-RUNAWAY and you can chat with us at www.1800runaway.org.
        Stay safe,
        NRS

    • #39
      My parents are against inappropriate stuff and are trying to get me to get rid of it and spend time with God and I can't take it anymore. What do I do? I want to leave house but I have no car/drivers license, 90 bucks in change and nowhere to go unless a friend will let me stay with them.

      Comment


      • ccsmod15
        ccsmod15 commented
        Editing a comment
        Hi there,
        Thank you for writing to us here at National Runaway Safeline (NRS). We understand it takes great courage to reach out, and we appreciate you sharing a little bit about what’s going on. We want you to know that we are here as support to help you through this challenging time. We can best help by phone or chat as NRS is unable to respond more than twice by email or bulletin for assistance. If you would like to talk more in detail and share more about how we can help specifically, please call or chat soon.
        Our contact information is 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929); www.1800runaway.org (click on the chat button).
        If you are at risk of any danger or feeling unsafe, we encourage you to reach out to 911 or seek emergency assistance immediately.
        We hope to hear from you soon.
        Be safe,
        NRS

    • #40
      I am 19 years old my family is mentally an emotionally abusive and has threatened physical abuse but I have nowhere to go and don't know what to do

      Comment


      • ccsmod2
        ccsmod2 commented
        Editing a comment
        Hello There,
        Thank you for reaching out to The National Runaway Safeline, we are here to help and here to listen. It sounds like you are going through a difficult time and we want you to know that you are not alone.
        You do not deserve to be abused in any type of way, and we are sorry to hear that you are dealing with this. We understand that it can be scary not to have anywhere to go, one option would be to see if you can stay with any friends or family members. We can also help you look for a shelter or transitional living program.
        We are available 24/7 to offer you support and to help you explore your options. You can chat with us or you can call us at 1800-786-2929. We wish you the best of luck!
        NRS

    • #41
      Hello, I am 18 years old. I am an adopted teen, who needs a backup plan due to threats of being harmed and kicked out. I am about to graduate from high school, and am currently taking a career course that will award me a certificate to be able to work as a Clinical Certified Medical Assistant (CCMA). Are there any options for me to stay close to my school, or am I too old?

      Comment


      • ccsmod5
        ccsmod5 commented
        Editing a comment
        Hi there,

        Thank you for reaching out, we’re sorry you have had to handle the situation you described. It sounds like it can be overwhelming. Since you are 18, you are considered a legal adult in most states. Therefore, you can make decisions on where you want to live. Some steps you can take towards independence might be to find employment if you don’t have an income, or to save up money for moving expenses. It can also be helpful to research rents in your area, find a roommate, or make a budget. There may be social service agencies in your area that can help meet some of these needs, such as Transitional Living Programs, a kind of shelter where young adults can live and get services to help them transition to independent living. We are here to listen and help however we can. Transitional Living Programs usually serve from ages 17 – 24, each program can have slight differences. If you would like us to help one closest to your area call or chat with us so that we can help.
        We look forward to hearing from you.

        Stay safe,
        NRS

    • #42
      i need to leave my parents house but have no where to go. i cannot live with other family members, i dont have a car and just lost my job today and all i have is some savings for a car. ive been kicked out before and im trying to leave before it happens again because i dont get along with her and all she does is argue with me about anything i have to say and just threaten to hit me or kick me out again and this toxic and crazy ways i cannot deal with anymore i barely leave my room as it is and she always has to know all of my business and i cannot take it anymore if anyone has anything or tips i can use them pls

      Comment


      • ccsmod5
        ccsmod5 commented
        Editing a comment
        Hi there,
        Thank you for writing to us here at National Runaway Safeline (NRS). We understand it takes great courage to reach out, and we appreciate you sharing a little bit about what’s going on. It seems there is a lot that you are faced with right now and you’re feeling like leaving is one of your only options. It seems you want to know some information on runaway laws.
        While we are not experts on the law, 18 is generally the age that an individual may leave home without parent permission. If you are under 18 and leave home, your parent/guardian may file you as a runaway and you may be returned home. Also, those you stay with may run the risk of being charged with harboring a runaway. For more specifics on the law, the local non-emergency police or legal aid may better answer legal questions.
        By all means, if you do fear for your safety either now or in the future, do not hesitate to take the necessary steps to regain your safety. This may mean calling the authorities or possibly reporting the things you may be experiencing.
        We are here as support to help through this challenging time. We can also try to call out to shelters with you or on your behalf to advocate for you. We can best help by phone or chat as NRS is unable to respond more than twice by email to assist you. If you would like to talk more in detail please call or chat soon.
        Our contact information is 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929); www.1800runaway.org (click on the chat button).
        If you are at risk of any danger or feeling unsafe, we encourage you to reach out to 911 or seek emergency assistance immediately.
        Be safe,
        NRS

    • #43
      I’m fifteen, sixteen in april, and i am so insanely done with my family. i literally cannot function there and simultaneously be happy. it’s not possible. i’ve wanted to move out since i was 11 and that desire has gone anywhere or gotten any less intense. i need to leave my house because i’m going insane but i don’t have anywhere to go. i want to live alone but i’m underage and i don’t have any friends who could “adopt me”. what do i do?

      Comment


      • ccsmod5
        ccsmod5 commented
        Editing a comment
        Hi there,


        Thanks for reaching out to us, it sounds like things at home have been pretty overwhelming. We hope to help as best we can. We're sorry your feeling this way, here are some option of leaving the home legally if that was what you were looking for. The easiest way to leave home is with your parents permission. We understand that might be challenging, however, maybe there’s another family member, relative, or a family friend who could help to communicate how you’re feeling to your parents. The second way is through Child Protective Services if safety is a concern. Lastly, you can also look into emancipation options. In most states you need to be at least 16 to be considered and demonstrate that you can support yourself financially and independently. Emancipation often can be a lengthy process and may even cost some money for court fees. We would be happy to look into legal resources if that’s something you are considering.

        Please reach out soon so that we may offer support and resources to you. Our number is 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929).


        Be safe,

        NRS

    • #44
      Hello, I’m a legal adult at the age of 19 and I’m trying to find a way to move out of my parent’s house. It’s been unsafe due to my father’s aggression and mental abuse. My mom can’t do anything or in her power to leave him since he’s controlling all of us. I live with my dad, mom, and 2 siblings who are underaged, and I really wasn’t prepare for what is to come when he immediately wanted me to leave. He was going to drop me off in the middle of an empty parking lot with all my belongings so “I can experience” what people have to go through. I have a job, but I only have $300 in my account which is not enough for me to live on my own. I tried every method especially asking my close relatives and friends, but it truly is disgusting how the truth of this world unravels under ‘Family being there for you no matter what’. It’s a lame saying at this point and everyone has to face the realities. I live up here in the state of Washington (NOT D.C.).

      I was not prepared well enough for this event. I’ve been living under this situation since I was 13 years old, and yet, I have no one who can teach me the ropes in person to get this right and plan carefully.

      My original plan was to move in with my boyfriend, since his family is open to having me, but he lives in the United Kingdom. I’ve told my mother I needed a passport but she kept delaying it because of my father—and she believes my father will change. My father is long-lost at this point so my mom has no excuse to say that. I told her if she wants to stay with my dad and continue life under his abusive ways, then might as well my father will get rid of me and my siblings. But if she chose us, then we told her to divorce with my father. My mother told me she can’t afford divorce papers and such and doesn’t know where to start. All the funds I have went to things I need especially food. But since my work cut hours from me, they are unable to grant my request into working more hours.

      I am not entirely sure how to government system works along with this, but my mind works more like a teen than an adult—with the lack of knowledge in that subject of being independent, I’ve been isolated my whole life and not sure what to do to survive

      Comment


      • ccsmod6
        ccsmod6 commented
        Editing a comment
        Hi there! Thanks for sharing a bit of your story with us. We’re so sorry to hear about the abuse you’ve faced from your father. It sounds like it’s been incredibly difficult to plan for the future without the support of your family. We’re happy to help you find resources and explore your options.
        One option for housing might be a Transitional Living Program. Transitional Living Programs are a type of shelter where young adults can live and get services to help them transition to independent living. If you reach out to us over phone or through our web chat service, we can absolutely look into our database to see if we can find options for you in Washington state.
        You mentioned that you’ve also considered moving in with your boyfriend, who lives in the United Kingdom, but lack a passport. One option would be for you to get your passport without your mother’s help. Two things you might need for this process are a copy of your birth certificate as well as a photo ID, such as a driver’s license. You would also need to pay a fee. Specifics vary from state to state.
        You can also order your own copy of your birth certificate if your parents won’t give it to you. Rules, ordering instructions and fees for each state can be found here (http://www.cdc.gov/nchs/w2w.htm). You might also be able to contact the vital recorder office in your city for more information.
        You mentioned that your mother feels trapped in her relationship and doesn’t know what to do. If you feel that she could benefit from some extra support, the National Domestic Violence Hotline might be able to help her. They can be reached at (800) 799-7233 or through http://www.thehotline.org/.
        In the end, your own safety is the most important thing right now. It sounds like you feel incredibly lost and unprepared to live independently. You do not have to be alone in this. Feel free to reach out if you’d like to discuss your options in greater detail. The best way for us to help you is over the phone or through our live text chat. We’d be happy to look for local resources for you, such as Transitional Living Programs, legal aid, food banks or other social services. We can be reached at 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our live chat at www.1800runaway.org. We’re here 24 hours a day, 7 days a week.
        We truly hope to hear from you soon!

        National Runaway Safeline

    • #45
      Hello. I currently live in Clarksburg, MD, with my separated mother and two siblings, both of which are planning on going to campus for college in the fall. I am also in college, but am at the community college near me to try to save money and get general credits out of the way. My mother is extremely manipulative and charges us way too much for a house that is in foreclosure now. She doesn’t chip in and blames us kids for everything, even though we are all working long hours each week. None of us have health insurance, and she refuses to get a full time job to provide benefits for her family. She has dog and cat sitting jobs that are paid under the table in most cases, but refuses to take responsibility for her kids. We get into arguments constantly because we all feel like we are being abused by her so that she can live payment free. I can’t keep this going for myself anymore. Like I mentioned earlier, I’m at college all year round currently to get an associates and then transfer, and she had the audacity to tell me to work full time to get health insurance if I wanted it that badly. My siblings and I are tired of her bull******** and want a way out. I don’t want to be a burden to others and wish I could live on my own.

      Comment


      • ccsmod15
        ccsmod15 commented
        Editing a comment
        Thank you for contacting National Runaway Safeline. It was brave of you to reach out to get the support you deserve. It sounds unfair that your mother is putting all the responsibility on you and your siblings. Please know that if you are feeling unsafe, we can help you find the resources you need. It might be a good idea to see if you are able to call in or chat online (1-800-786-2929 or www.1800runaway.org). We have many resources that can help you find housing options, legal information, health care, and much more.

        You are going through a lot, and we appreciate you reaching out to us. Please feel free to contact us whenever is suitable for you as we are open 24/7. If you feel that you are in immediate danger, please do not hesitate to contact the police (911) to get immediate assistance.

        We hope to hear from you soon,
        NRS
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