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  • My mom just beat me.

    I'm 13 years old. My mom recently opened a business and occasionally I will go over there and help her when she needs it. One day she brought her iPad to work, and asked me to set up the wifi for her on the device, so I did. My aunt who also works at the shop took the iPad as soon as I was done, and told me she would give the ipad to my mom later, because she was busy with a customer at the moment, so I let her take it. Shortly after,I had to leave because there was somewhere that I had to go. Later that night, my mom came home and told me the iPad went missing, and assumed that I lost it. When I tried to tell her it wasn't me, she wouldn't listen and kept blaming me and my sister for her iPad going missing, even though this had nothing to do with my sister. A few days later (today) when I got home from school she brought up her missing iPad again and kept telling me how it was my fault that her iPad was gone. I kept telling her that I did not lose it, and explained to her that my aunt took it after I was done setting up the wifi on the ipad. She kept telling me that I should be responsible and know where her iPad is, and I told her the iPad is hers, not mine, and she should take responsibility of it, not me. She got really mad after I said that, and repeatedly hit me all over. She hit me across the face, on my arms, and wacked the side and back of my head repeatedly. She kept poking her finger in my face, and every time I tried to get away from her, she would yank my arm and scream at me not to leave until she says I can leave, and continued to slap me even harder. My arms are extremely red and sore with bumps and scratches all over them, and my cheeks are very puffy and red after her slapping me multiple times across the face. When I raised my hands up to shield myself, she slapped my hands and now my hands are red and scratched. She used to do this to me very often when I was a little younger, but not as severely. I'm terrified. I ran up to my room and locked myself in here for hours. I'm still up here as I'm typing this, and I'm terrified to go back down. I don't want to see her. I feel very unsafe around her. I know of people who have gone to live with their grandparents or other relatives because of a similar problem, but I cannot do this. My grandparents and relatives are actually a lot like her, and extremely close with my her, and side with her for every problem. If I asked to live with them, they wouldn't take me, and probably let her know immediately that I tried to do this. I have thought several times about running away, but I really want to keep going to school and graduate and go to college. When I have had other problems slightly similar to this, I have tried to sit her down and calmly talk to her about the situation, and that did not work. She got even angrier and it made everything worse, so I cannot do that. I can't talk to my father about this, because he will side with her, which also happened several times before. Please help, I don't know what to do.

  • #2
    Re: My mom just beat me.

    Hi,
    We are so sorry to hear about what you are going through right now. No one deserves to be treated that way, you deserve better. It is extremely brave of you to ask for help and we want to thank you for reaching out.

    You sound very mature and strong. It seems like you are trying very hard for your relationship with your mother to work out. You tried to explain things from your perspective but it only made matters worse. You also mentioned that you have thought about other options such as living with grandparents or other relatives but that doesn’t seem like an option because they always side with mom. It must be very frustrating to feel like you are not being herd.

    One option that you may have is to report your Mom to Child Protective services. There is an organization called Child Help USA. The hotline offers crisis intervention, information, literature, and referrals to thousands of emergency, social service, and support resources. All calls are confidential and they can be reached at 1-800-422-4453. If you feel that reporting your mother is an option that would help keep you safe, it might be a good idea to take pictures of any bruises or marks for proof. If you feel like you are immediate danger, please call 911.

    We strongly encourage you to give us a call here at the National Runaway Safeline, we are always available to talk about your situation, help you come up with options, and a safe plan of action. We’re available 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. The number is 1-800-RUNAWAY. Call anytime.

    Best of luck,

    NRS
    Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

    National Runaway Safeline
    [email protected] (Crisis Email)
    1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)

    Tell us what you think about your experience!
    https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/YourOpinionMattersToUs

    Comment


    • #3
      My mom wants me to be scared of her and feel like she can hurt me

      Comment


      • ccsmod2
        ccsmod2 commented
        Editing a comment
        Thank you for reaching out to us here at the National Runaway Safeline. We understand that it takes courage to seek help. We are sorry to hear that your mom wants you to be scared of her. She doesn't have the right to hurt you. If any harm or abuse is happening at home, you have the right to report it. We are not experts on the issue, but generally once it's been reported, social services will either decide whether or not to take the case and further investigate. If they do take the case, they will send out someone from child protective services to do an investigation (interviewing people in the household) and from there they will decide the level of danger within the household. It generally ranges from no danger (the youth stays in the home, some services are given, and the case is closed), moderate danger (they will provide family services with possible temporary displacement) and high danger (they will remove the youth from the home and offer certain services).Reaching out to Child Help USA at 1-800-422-4453 or www.childhelp.org may help to get a better understanding of what may happen before and after a report is made. We hope that this information helps, please feel free to contact us directly via our 24 hour crisis hotline (1-800-786-2929), email, or live chat if you have any questions or just want to talk.

    • #4
      My mother beats me and my siblings and I’m scared to report her because if social services don’t do anything and leave and she finds out she will severely beat me. She’s warned me to never speak of this stuff because it’s discipline. She’s threatening to beat me right now for not doing something that causes me emotional harm. I’m also scared that I will be separated from my siblings if social services come.

      Comment


      • #5
        Hi there,

        Thank you for reaching out to us at the National Runaway Safeline. We're sorry to hear about everything that is going on, and want you to know that you deserve to feel safe and happy in your home. You mentioned experiencing abuse which may be reportable against your mother. Please keep in mind you by no means deserve any type of abuse. That said, we can’t be 100% sure what the outcome will be if your local CPS decides to open a case based on what you share. Sometimes CPS decides to remove minors from the home and other times they offer services such as family counseling or mediation instead. The only way to know the outcome might be to reach out to them directly and if you’re ready to do that we are here to help you through that process. Reaching out to Child Help USA at (1-800-422-4453) or www.childhelp.org may help to get a better understanding of what may happen before and after a report is made. It's understandable that you would be afraid of the consequences of reporting or being removed from home. A liner here would be able to talk some of these fears through with you and help in any way we can to come up with the solution that works best for you. Our biggest priority is your safety, but know that this is a hard decision to make.

        Are there any other adults, like family members or teachers, that you feel you can talk to about all of this? We could also help you identify people in your life that could advocate for you and help you through this process. We can be reached 24/7 at 1-800-786-2929. Don't hesitate to give us a call.

        Stay safe,

        NRS


        Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

        National Runaway Safeline
        [email protected] (Crisis Email)
        1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)

        Tell us what you think about your experience!
        https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/YourOpinionMattersToUs

        Comment


        • #6
          I feel like I have depression because I have feeling depressed for a few months now I told my parents but they don't believe me.My mother just beated just cause I was crying non stop,she told to shut up but I am human and I do have the right to cry and I can't help it of I'm feeling depressed. To make things worse,my father just sat and watched TV while I was crying for help,while my mother was beating me non stop.I honestly feel like the best thing to do is commit suicide but I can't because I still have my little siblings to protect .

          Comment


          • ccsmod7
            ccsmod7 commented
            Editing a comment
            Hi, thank you for reaching out today. It sounds like you’re going through an incredibly hard situation and it was brave of you to reach out to someone. When feeling suicidal, you can always call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-8255. It’s a great resource with operators who are trained counselors who can talk you through some of your feelings. Your feelings are valid, and you deserve dignity. No one ever deserves to be abused and you are not responsible for the abuse. Know that there are resources available to you and you’re not alone.

            One option when experiencing abuse is to file an abuse report. In general, the way this works is that a file would be opened for you, which would start an investigation into your situation. This could lead to a change in living situation for you and/or your siblings. Deciding whether to file is entirely up to you, but if you ever wanted to learn more about that process or what that could look like you can reach out to Child Help, the National Child Abuse Hotline. Their number is 1-800-422-4453. They can help you file a report, or they can just answer any questions you may have about it. Their website is childhelp.org. If you want a report filed but don’t want to go through the process you could let someone like a teacher or guidance counselor know. They are mandated reporters, so if you tell them about abuse, they’ll have to file an abuse report. If you don’t want to file an abuse report, but still need to talk to someone, you could talk to Childhelp and they could help talk you through it, or help you make a safety plan for if the abuse ever escalates.

            There are a lot of resources for taking care of your mental health. While feeling depressed is totally normal, it is still incredibly hard to be living with, but there are things that can help. SAMHSA, the Substance Abuse & Mental Health Services Administration, is a hotline that helps people work through and find resources for substance abuse and mental health issues, including depression. Their phone number is 1-877-726-4727 and their website is samhsa.gov. Another resource working with peoples’ mental health is NAMI, the National Alliance on Mental Illness. Their phone number is 1-800-950-NAMI and their website is www.nami.org.

            You’re going through a lot right now, and taking this step to start talking to someone was so strong. You can call us any time at 1-800-Runaway if you ever have any other questions, need more resources, or just need to talk about what you’re going through. We’re available 24/7 and we’re here to listen.

        • #7
          Hey, my mom beat me up because I disobeyed her. And she keeps on telling me I am a useless child. She tells me I will finish bad in life and that I am a stupid kid. I know I'm not stupid, but she makes me feel stupid and useless. She hurts me emotionally and physically. I need help, I can't call no one because I leave in an apartment an I have no phone. If I call someone, she gone know and beat me up again.

          Comment


          • ccsmod3
            ccsmod3 commented
            Editing a comment
            Hey,
            Thanks for reaching out to National Runaway Safeline and sharing a little bit about what is going. It takes a lot of courage to reach out and especially in a time where you have a really tough and complex situation at home. We are sorry you are experiencing abuse, no one ever deserves to go through that. You do have the right to report the abuse to Child Help at 1-800-422-4453 at school, talk to your counselor at school, or go online at childhelp.org to report. You can either do it yourself or call directly if you are able to access our chat through our website and we can support you through it. It is hard to say the result of reporting, but if you call in you can ask what the process might look like.
            We aren’t legal experts, but we have general knowledge about running away. In most states, running away isn’t illegal, but what is called a status offense. You can’t get arrested for it but it will mostly likely go on your record until you are 18. The police will only know if you have runaway if your parents/guardians file a police report. We can’t say for sure how the police will respond, but we hear a lot that police will take potential places you might be and will actively search for you. If they come across you, the most likely will return you home to your parents. Sometimes we hear that if you are staying with someone who knows you are a runaway and are not actively trying to return you or finding shelter for you, your guardians/or police can press charges against the people who are housing you, with something that is called harboring. One of our main goals is to make sure you are safe, so if you ever seriously decide to run away and need shelter, resources, or a safe place to go you can find safe locations at nationalsafeplace.org or reach out to us directly and we can find local resources in your area.
            We are here for you and will support you in anyway that we can. Please feel free to call into us directly as we can talk further about your situation and find resources that are best for you in your area. Stay strong and you are not alone in this! Our hotline ( 1-800-RUNAWAY) and chat are open 24/7.

        • #8
          My mom beat me because i got b

          Comment


          • ccsmod3
            ccsmod3 commented
            Editing a comment
            Thanks for reach out to us. Asking for help can be hard, and you are making a great choice looking at your options.
            You don’t deserve to be beat. No one should be treating you that way. If you would like to file a child abuse report Child Help is a great resource that will talk you through each step (1-800-422-4453). If you aren’t ready to do that, there are family counseling services that charge on a sliding scale. Having you and your mom sit down together with a mediator might help. It sounds like you work hard in school and do well. You should be proud of yourself for getting good grades.
            If you would like to talk more about your situation we are available 24/7. You can call in (1800-RUNAWAY) or chat with us (1800runaway.org). We can help you get more specific help. Good Luck.

        • #9
          my mom beat cause im tranz

          Comment


          • ccsmod6
            ccsmod6 commented
            Editing a comment
            Hi, thank you for reaching out. It sounds like you're dealing with a really tough situation right now but you don't have to go through it alone. We are here to help.
            What your mother is doing is not ok. You have the option of reporting abuse by calling us or the national child abuse hotline. Their number is (1800)422-4453. There is also the LGBT National Youth Talkline at (1800)246-7743. It is unfortunate that you are not able to live in an environment where you feel safe and accepted, but we can always help you work through your options over the phone at 1800RUNAWAY. Thank you again for reaching out.

        • #10
          My mom beats me, and I've had bruises all over my legs and arms. It hurts me a lot, and she also hurts me emotionally and physically. She says I'm the reason the world is a bad place, and she only starts to care when we are in public, or when I say "I wanna kill my self." I don't know what to do and I don't feel safe. What should I do???

          Comment


          • ccsmod5
            ccsmod5 commented
            Editing a comment
            Hi,
            Thank you for your post. It’s absolutely not okay for your mom to beat you or to hurt you emotionally. To be clear, you are NOT the reason the world is a bad place; the world is better for your being in it. Your compassion and your courage to speak out is clear from your post. You are stronger than you may think. You mention that your mom only starts to care when you are in public or when you say that you want to kill yourself. Your safety is our top priority here at NRS. If you ever feel like you are in danger of being hurt or in danger of hurting yourself, you can always call 911 or the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-8255 for support. You are not alone, even if it may feel that way at times.
            Regarding your mom’s leaving bruises all over you and hurting you in other ways, this could be considered abuse. Abuse is never okay and should not be tolerated. We encourage you to reach out to an adult that you trust, like a teacher, guidance counselor, coach, or perhaps a friend’s parent. These adults can help you get the support you need and help you in notifying child protective services about the situation. If you’re uncertain of what might happen if you file an abuse report, you can call Child Help at 1-800-422-4453.
            Please feel free to call us any time, day or night. We are here to listen, help you think through your options, and figure out appropriate resources. Our number is 1-800-786-2929 and we hope to hear from you soon.
            Sincerely,
            NRS

        • #11
          I’m the same

          Comment


          • ccsmod9
            ccsmod9 commented
            Editing a comment
            Thanks for reaching out to the National Runaway Safeline. We can understand that you might be going through a lot. Please know that you can always reach out to us. You can reach us at (1-800-786-2929) or online at www.1800runaway.org through our chat option.
            Thanks again and please feel free to reach out to us anytime.

        • #12
          my mom says I am a stupid failure who can't even get a job at fast food. after she said that, she hit me with a bat

          Comment


          • #13
            Hi. Thanks for reaching out and sharing part of your story with us. It sounds like you’re going through a very difficult time at home. It must be heartbreaking to have experienced what you described. This is considered abuse and you don’t deserve to be treated that way at all. You deserve to be treated with dignity and respect. If you are feeling unsafe you do have the option to contact the police or report the abuse to child protective services. It may also be helpful to document the abuse. You can also tell a trusted adult, teacher or family member about what is happening as well. I have provided a support line contact that may be able to help support you during this difficult time. Child Help can be reached at 1800-422-4453. In addition, please do not hesitate to give us a call at 1800-runaway or come chat with us at 1800runaway.org. We wish the very best. Stay safe. All the best, NRS.
            Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

            National Runaway Safeline
            [email protected] (Crisis Email)
            1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)
            https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/YourOpinionMattersToUs

            Comment


            • #14
              My mom raped me

              Comment


              • ccsmod5
                ccsmod5 commented
                Editing a comment
                Hi,
                Thank you for reaching out. It takes a lot of courage to share what’s been going on. You never deserve to be abused in any way! You have the right to notify child protective services to let them know about the situation. For more info. on that process, you can call Child Help at 1-800-422-4453. You can also call your local police or talk with an adult at school, like a teacher or guidance counselor. You are not alone and there is support out there. You deserve to feel loved and supported. A great resource to reach out to is RAINN (Rape Abuse Incest National Network): 1-800-656-4673. And we here at the National Runaway Safeline are always here to listen and help in any way we can, whether that’s providing resources, helping you find emergency housing, helping you think through your options, or just being a listening ear. You are not alone. We wish you the very best and please don’t hesitate to reach out to us at 1-800-786-2929. Stay strong!
                Sincerely,
                NRS

            • #15
              I’m a 14 year old girl, this morning I woke up I’d say it was like 8am or so and I made breakfast and was relaxing. I went to check on my mom she usually goes to work around 9 or 10am so I told her she should get ready. She told me to ask my dad if we’re going to NY, I was confused I remember her saying something like that before but I didn’t know it was gonna be this weekend, so I went to my dad and asked if we were going he said, yes. Now I was waiting for them to get ready so I was just hanging around in the living room, I didn’t really want to go cause it was a Sunday and I was tired from hanging with my 3 cousins and family the day before. So when they said let’s go to NY to me I said no, I wasn’t being rude or anything I just said no, go without me if you want. I’m used to being home alone anyways after school so it doesn’t bother me. Unfortunately my mom wasn’t having it. She tried forcing me to come by giving me some clothes and shoes. She also gave me a choice to go to ny or go to my grandparents. Honestly I wanted to go somewhere where she wasn’t so I wanted to go to my grandparents. My dad tried convincing me too but I just didn’t want to go plus I wanted to stay home and finish an essay I had to write for English. After my dad was talking to me for a while my mother came back and said “get dressed now” I told her that I want to stay home, I didn’t want to go. My mom took away my phone when she came back. Eventually she had enough and began grabbing my arms, her nails dig into my wrists. My dog went crazy and bit my whole upper left arm, I was in pain. She started grabbing me by my hair and I screamed loudly at her to let go while tears ran down my face. But she didn’t and grabbed more of my hair she then dragged me through the living room, then kitchen, all the way out to the draft way/porch area while hitting me in my face during the process. When she threw me in there my mind was blank I couldn’t think straight I hit my head multiple times on the wall trying to comprehend what had just happened. I was crying, I had a hard time breathing. She came back and placed my shoes next to me. Once again she yelled at me to get dressed. She started to grab me and hit me again when I refused. I was crying and saying I want to die, kill me, I was scared to die but I couldn’t think straight and that’s just what came out. But eventually I got dressed. And I went to the car through the snow and sat down. I had put my coat on and started crying again. We were all in the car and driving towards my grandparents house but my heart began to fall when we passed it and we ended up going to NY. Here I am in the car writing this once I got my phone back.... I don’t want to be near my mom I want to be with my grandma. What do I do...

              Comment


              • ccsmod7
                ccsmod7 commented
                Editing a comment
                Thanks so much for reaching out to us. It sounds like you went through a really scary and traumatic experience, and it’s understandable that you’d be looking for a way to get some distance from your mom.

                The behavior that you’re describing is physical abuse, and it is never okay. No one deserves to be treated like that. Please know that you have the right to report this abuse to the authorities at any time. You can call the police, tell a teacher at school (they are required to report child abuse), or contact your state or county child abuse reporting hotline. Child Help (1-800-422-4453) is a confidential 24/7 hotline focused on child abuse that can help answer any questions you have about reporting and connect you with the right resources.

                You also deserve care and help to deal with your suicidal thoughts. You are not alone. If you feel like you’re in danger of acting on those thoughts, please call 911 or the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-8255. We at NRS are also happy to help you find free or low-cost counseling resources in your area. Our number is 1-800-786-2929 and we’re 24/7.

                As far as being able to go live with your grandparents, in most states, you need your parent or guardian’s permission to leave home until you turn 18. If you left home without your parents’ permission and they reported you as a runaway, it just means the police could bring you home. There could potentially be legal consequences for your grandparents as well, for “harboring a runaway.” These are just potential risks to keep in mind if you decide to leave.

                It shows a lot of strength and courage that you are reaching out for help and researching all your options. We at NRS are here for you 24/7 if you’d like to talk more.
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