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Running Away at 18

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  • Running Away at 18

    A few people have told me that is not running away because I am 18, but it is. I am leaving in the middle of the night and only leaving a note behind.

    When I was 8, my mom and step dad were on drugs. They became abusive and neglectful. In 2009, they left me behind and came to Pennsylvania. (I was living in Florida at the time)
    So my real dad who lived in Indiana made a 2 day trip to come get me and bring me home to Indiana. I lived with him for 9 years. It was awful. He was so emotionally abusive that I became depressed and suicdal. I had began self harming and was in and out of the mental hospital, so the day I turned 18, I packed my stuff and moved in with my friend.
    Living with my friend was great for the first months. After a month of me being there my friend gt into a huge fight with her mom and left. I stayed with her mom. Her moms husband and I were online one night watching a movie when he kept trying to get me to have sex. I said no repeatedly. I became very uncomfortable and got up to leave, but he grabbed my by my hair and pulled me down.
    I had tried to fight him off with everything I had, but he was much stronger than me. He had beat me up pretty good and forced himself on me. Afterwards I showered, which ruined a lot of evidence. I filed a police report, but when I came home after filing, he had left. Nobody knew where he had gone. Days following the event, my friends mom became abusive towards me both mentally and physically. I couldn't take it anymore.
    I called my mom whom I hadn't seen in 9 years and told her I needed help and need her. She got me a plane ticket and I was in Pennsylvania with my mom within a week. The reunion with my mom and step dad was wonderful. I was so incredibly happy. A few months had passed and things have turned south. My mom told me that she left me when I was 8 to be with my step dad. I was heartbroken, but told her I forgave her. Now,I can see that it is still all about him. He is always going to be more important in her eyes. The other night I got into a fight with y step dad. He threatened to break my jaw if I ever hit my mom. Which made no sense ( I am a pacifistic) and would never lay a hand on anybody, which he knows. He then went to my mom and told her I was ruining their lives. Fine, then I'll leave. The next day my mom and step dad went away for the weekend. They came back and things seemed fine, until later. My mom got mad at me because I dropped a hammer in the grass and told me I was throwing a fit. I calmly exclaimed I dropped it and was not throwing a fit She started screaming at me and pointing her finger in my face telling me I was disrespectful and thats she is my mother. I tried to explain to her that it was not a fit and she wouldn't let me. I have been avoiding her since.\
    Maybe my step dad was right, maybe I am ruining their lives. So I have made the decision to leave. It breaks my heart to do so because for 9 years I had longed to be with my mother, but it is not working.

  • #2
    Re: Running Away at 18

    Hello,
    Thanks so much for reaching out to us. We are so sorry to hear about all the difficult things that have happened to you and hope that things start to get better for you. It sounds like one bad thing after another has happened. No one should have to live with that kind of stress and it is never OK for someone to threaten to harm you, even if they do not follow through. We want you to know that you have the right to call the police if you ever feel like your safety is in danger. We want you to know that if you ever felt like talking to someone about your friends’ mothers’ husband forcing himself on you then you can contact the good people at RAINN (Rape Abuse Incest National Network) 1-800-656-4673 will be able to talk to you more about it and direct you towards appropriate resources.
    You obviously feel a lot of love towards your mom, even though the relationship has been very difficult over the years. So it sounds like you feel that you have to leave the home where your mom and step dad live, even though you have wanted to live with your mother for a very long time. Sometimes living together with someone puts a lot of stress on the relationship, and when you are not living together the situation improves, and the relationship can grow and even flourish. You mentioned that you have made the decision to leave. Do you know where you would go? What you would do for food, money and where would you bathe? We know that you planning on just avoiding them, but how long do you think that will last for? If you are set on leaving soon we can help you with that.
    We know that you mentioned that you have already stayed with a few other people but things have not worked out. Is there anyone else that you think you would be able to live with? If so we might be able to help you with transportation getting there. We can even look into transitional living facilities or other shelter options.
    This sounds like a really difficult situation for you and unfortunately there are no easy answers. If you would like to talk through these issues in more detail give us a call at 1 800-RUNAWAY (1 800 786 2929). We are here 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, and we can see if there are some more ideas for you and us to talk through.
    Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

    National Runaway Safeline
    [email protected] (Crisis Email)
    1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)

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