Should I run away from my mentally and physically abusive family?

[Unregistered]

I'm a 16 year old girl and my family is extremely mentally abusive, and are sometimes physically abusive. To keep it simpler I'm just going to be listing out some of the things they've done

-I watched my dad push my sister down the stairs and grab her hair and bang it against the wall when she was like 15 when he found out she smoked pot
-I watched my dad break my brother's arm during a fight when I was 7
-I asked for a puppy when I was 9 and when we got one my dad would hit it at night time when it whined, so I cut myself for the first time because I thought I deserved to feel the pain since the puppy got hurt because of me wanting it, so I should feel the pain it was feeling
-One time I was on my phone at 2 am playing Candy Crush (lol) and my dad woke up and saw me so he grabbed my hair and banged my head against the wall bc he got mad that I wasn't asleep yet (I was 12)
-I got home late (like 8pm) on accident because my friend's mom was running late so when I got home my parents held me down and hit me with a belt several times even though it wasn't my fault...

Now for mentally abusive stuff...
-Just the other day my dad nonstop made me feel like ******** on the car ride to school, telling me I was lazy, ugly, a horrible daughter, etc, BECAUSE I DIDN'T TAKE A SHOWER THAT MORNING?!
I told my mom about it and she tried making me feel better and said she'd talk to my dad. The next day she told me that I should let him say rude things to me because he's my dad and it's normal... Then she said that her dad hit her when she was younger so what I'm going through doesn't even matter.
She told me that it was my fault he was being rude and that I should never talk back. So I basically yelled at her for not making any sense, went to my room, and cried lol
-My dad constantly makes me feel like I'm not good enough/I'm a horrible person... when I'm 16 and already taking college classes, I've never done drugs, drank, or partied...
I'm also a pretty good artist, photographer, and musician. But none of that matters since I don't have straight A's.
-My dad barely EVER lets me hang out with my friends and when I ask why he doesn't say anything. Whenever I ASK he get's really really mad and just starts screaming at me
-He isolates me from the people around me, makes me feel like I'm nothing, no matter how hard I try to get good grades, stay clean, make beautiful art... NOTHING IS GOOD ENOUGH.

I feel like I'm losing connection with my friends and I've been feeling really depressed lately. I'm no longer motivated to fight back when my dad says no to seeing them.
I have self-proclaimed depression because I've spoken to my mom about depression when I was like 12 (I've been depressed for a while lol) and she just laughed at me and said I was overreacting.
Recently it's gotten worse and I've contemplated suicide. I'm never good enough, I'm losing my friends, I don't have much to live for. Even if I wanted to get help I feel like things would get worse.
If I brought up wanting a therapist, my parents would call me crazy, since that's what they said about my sister's ex who recently got a therapist for depression.
I don't know if I can make it until my 18th birthday. I want to get away from my parents. I REALLY want to get away from my dad.

Any advice...?

[ccsmod7]

Re: Should I run away from my mentally and physically abusive family?

Hello, thank you for contacting us today. It sounds like you have endured a lot of physical and emotional abuse from your Dad. We are so sorry to hear that. You do not deserve to be hurt in any way. You deserve better than that. You seem like a really great, talented person and we are here for you.

You mentioned contemplating suicide in the past. It sounds like you are in a lot of pain, and it takes a lot of strength to reach out for help. We care about you, and your life has meaning. If you are having those feelings again, we strongly encourage you to call us at 1-800-RUNAWAY or the National Suicide Hotline at 1-800-273-TALK.

One option you may have is to report your Dad to Child Protective Services. Mental abuse is harder to prove so you might want to contact Child Help USA at 1-800-422-4453. They are an organization who can talk to you about what reporting might look like in your case so you can decide if it is something you want to do. If you or your sister have any injuries from your dad, it might help to document those through taking pictures if you choose to report.

You also mentioned that you wondering if you should run away. We strongly encourage you to call us at 1-800-RUNAWAY or live chat us so we can talk about your situation and brainstorm your options. Since 18 is usually the age that you can leave home without permission from your guardian, we also want to talk to you about what leaving might look like legally.

We look forward to hearing from you.

Best wishes,

NRS