dad

[Guest]

my dad is starting to push me over the limet.
he said that i give him no respect and that saying "hold on" is disrespectful.
hes pushing me to the point that i just want to run away but i love my mom and friends to much to leave.
i dont know what to do any more.

[Guest]

Re: dad

Hi,

thanks for posting. We're sorry to hear that you and your dad are having differences.
How long has this problem been going on between the two of you? It's good that you are trying to reachout to someone for help with your situation. It sounds like you have a good relationship with your mom. Has she given you any advise about how you might improve on things with your dad? What is it that you feel makes it diffcult to get your thoughts through
to him? What would you like to see change in the way he reacts to you? Not having good communication with ones parents can make things very uncomfortable. How are you coping with it. You mentioned your friends along with your mom as reasons not to runaway.
It's nice to have support in times of crisis you seem to have a good base. Have your friends offered any encouraging advise to you? Are there ever times when you and your dad spend time not disagreeing? Do you spend one on one time with him? When was the last time you and your dad shared a good moment? If you had the opportunity to tell him how this is making you feel what would you say? Would you like to reach an understanding with him and if so in what way would you go about it? Could your mom help? Do you think counseling might be an option? We can try to help you find resources in your area. You may call our 1-800-Runaway 24hr Hotline to talk to someone more about your situation and some possible options. We hope you and your dad will some how find a way to better understand and communicate with one another. It is very mature of you to seek help with your situation. It's not always easy to let someone in. We thank you for expressing your feelings through our bullentin board. We would like to offer you one referral. It is as follows:

Families Anonymous
1-800-736-9805

Take Care,
nrs

[Guest]

Re: dad

well as of right now all the people who know how is me you and anyone who has looked at this post. but my dad and i do scouts together although its kinda he does his thing i do mine, and i cant recall the last time me and him have had a "good" time all i can remember is non bad memories. also i would perfer not to go to counciling becouse i know my dad will not change his mind just becouse if counciling.

[ccsmod8]

Re: dad

Hello,

Thank you for taking the time to get back in touch with us at the National Runaway Switchboard and we hope that you continue to reach out for resources in the future. We certainly empathize with your situation and wish to provide you with a few options for how you can cope with life at home. What do you find works best for you when you are stressed out? What kinds of activities you enjoy and are you able to explore the option of joining clubs or organizations at school or in your local community?

Do you see any benefits to reaching out to another adult you can trust for support? Do you have a guidance counselor at school or a teacher you relate to for when times are hard? Are you fully against the idea of convincing your father to attend therapy? We imagine it is tough to ask since he showed no interest in finding time to spend it with you. However, we hope that you can call us for support yourself and guidelines for ways to open up to him. Are you considering giving it a try alone? Have you thought about the fact that given that your father is not ready for therapy that it doesn't mean you are not? It is one thing for your father to refuse help. Do you think the option is still yours? We are available 24 hours a day at 1800RUNAWAY. Do you think you are in need of referrals?

Have you heard of the Big Brother Big Sister program? Big Brothers Big Sisters has a variety of volunteer opportunities available for adults and matches come together through their two essential programs. Community-based mentoring for as little as an hour a week, Bigs and Littles meet in their community to share fun activities … stories … and a little bit of themselves. School-based mentoring for Bigs and Littles meet once a week in schools, libraries and community centers, to talk and have fun. It’s not about being a tutor … it’s about being a friend. You can learn about other national volunteer program initiatives and how individual Big becomes a Big (and a Little a Little).

A lot of things have to happen before they make a match. After individuals express an interest in their volunteer opportunities, all Bigs go through a thorough background check and careful interview process. Then they match Bigs and Littles based on location, personalities and preferences. And they provide full support for their volunteer programs along the way — so that matches can grow into lasting friendships. Do you see this as an option? Please call or let us where you are located for info on Big Brother Big Sister or any other resource we can help with. Please let us know what we can do to help. Good luck.

-NRS

[Guest]

Re: dad

my dad is starting to push me over the limet.
he said that i give him no respect and that saying "hold on" is disrespectful.
hes pushing me to the point that i just want to run away but i love my mom and friends to much to leave.
i dont know what to do any more.

Your lucky because my dad just ripped off part of my skin or flesh out of my finger just because I said that he is definatley going to meet the police for slapping my 12 month old baby sister in that face. My mom saw this and told me that I should go talk to my uncle about how my Dad abuses me and my siblings. I don't plan on running away from home , but I would likfe to, if i have support from other families. My Dad still doesn't have a job a blamed My mom, my siblings, and I that we made him poor. I'm only 15 and I don't know what to do.

[ccsmod0]

Re: dad

Thank you for posting to our bulletin board and sharing a little about your situation. We are so sorry to hear about the physical abuse that you have endured and witness. It sounds like a difficult situation to be in and overwhelming to try to sorting out what to do. We are glad that you have reached out to us though. Do you feel that you or your younger sister needs medical attention? It sounds like you have considered talking the police about the abuse you have witness. Were you able to contact the police? If so, did you find it helpful and reassuring of your safety and sister’s safety? You had mention that your mom advised you to contact your uncle, but do you feel comfort confiding in your uncle about the abuse? Have you talked to anyone about the abuse at home (family member, teacher, friend, neighbor, counselor or Child Protective Services)? How long has things been like this at home? Everyone has the right to feel safe especially in their own home and it sounds like home hasn’t been safe for you. We applaud you in wanting to get help for your family and sounds like running away is not an option for you. We do care about you and your safety. Hopefully, we can be a support for you and provide some assistance.

The purpose of Child Protective Services (CPS) is to identify, treat, and reduce child abuse and or neglect, as well as to ensure that reasonable efforts are made to protect and maintain children in their own homes. You can make a report with CPS of any abuse and/or neglect. The calls can be made anonymous, so that your confidentiality is maintained. Also anyone that has witness or knows of the abuse can also make a report on your behalf. CPS will take the information and determine what their next step will be. You can ask them also what they will do next. It sounds like you experienced physical abuse, which could leave marks or bruises. It might be good to have pictures of any of the physical abuse and any documentation of medical services. The more information you can provide to CPS will help to build your case. You can contact Child Help USA at 1-800-4-A-CHILD (422-4453) or you can view their website: http://www.childhelp.org/ for more information. Also CPS can sometime provide support regarding some of the financial difficulties that your family has been experiencing. If you feel like you or anyone else is in immediate danger, then you should call 911. Another service that is outside of the police and CPS is called Justice for the Children. It is a national child advocacy organization to help youth when there might be inadequate and/or failure to protect a child from abuse or neglect. They can be reached at 1-800-733-0059 or you can view their website at: http://www.justiceforchildren.org .

We are a 24/7 non-judging, anonymous and confidential crisis line. We can help process through situation, discuss option in more detail, provide local resources/referrals and help in making conference calls to other services or agencies. We want you to feel safe in contacting us if you would like to talk more about your situation or anything else you wants to talk about. However, we do let our callers know that if we get identifying information (age, city, state, address, phone number and name (s) of alleged abuser (s)), then we would be mandated to report abuse. Other mandated report, which means the following people/agencies by law would have to report any or alleged abuse/neglect: Social Services, teachers, counselors, doctors. We do not determine what is or is not abuse though. We are here for support and to be a listening ear if you want to call. Our number is 1-800RUNAWAY (786-2929). You are welcome to call at any time and we look forward in hear from you. We wish you the best!

~NRS