I’m 15, wanting to run away from abuse

[Guest]

I’m a 15 year old from Canada. I currently live in Ontario. My mother is mentally ill and has been abusive towards me and my family my whole life. My stepfather is also abusive, he hits my mother, and they constantly fight, he’s been living with me since I was 6, and was physically abusive from age 6 to 10. Neither of my parents are currently physically abusive. However I feel completely discarded, uncared for, and hopeless.
I’ve struggled with suicidal thoughts and self harm since age 10. I want to run away. I can’t take the abuse anymore. My mother takes every opportunity she gets to make me feel worthless, insult me, and traumatize me.
I’m scared that if I run away, the police will just bring me back. They wouldn’t believe that my family is abusive, given that both my mother and stepfather make sure there is zero evidence, and I live in a nice, wealthy house, which is deemed legally “safe” and no police officer or social worker would take me away from a wealthy household where I’m deemed as “well off”.

I know this is a unique situation, and very complicated. But I need all the help that I can get. I’m scared and I don’t know how much more I can take. I feel like I’m at my breaking point.

[ccsmod15]

Hello! Thank you so much for reaching out.

You mentioned that you’re in an abusive household, and that the abuse has stopped for now at home. No one deserves to be physically abused, and we want you to know that you’re not alone. An option you can explore, would be to reach out to the national Child Abuse hotline at 1800) 422-4453. You can speak with someone about the occurring abuse that was occurring to you and your mom, and if need be, disclose your information for a child abuse report to be made.

You also said how you’ve been struggling with depression, suicidal thoughts, and self-harm. You’re really brave for sharing everything that you’re going through. If you ever want to talk to someone, you can reach out to the National Association of mental Illness at 1800) 950-6264. You can also text them the word NAMI to 741741, and you will be talking to a counselor about what you’re going through. The National Suicide Prevention Lifeline is a great resource as well to discuss your self- harm, and the experiences you’ve come across that are making you have suicidal thoughts.

Lastly, you also spoke briefly about wanting to run away. Running away is a big decision, and you know your current situation more than anyone else. We’re not legal experts, but in most states anyone under 18 is considered as minor, if you were to leave your home, your legal guardians could contact the authorities, and file a runaway report. Whoever you end up staying with, may face some charges for harboring a runaway. We care about your safety and well-being, you can possibly look into reaching out to a close family member, and seeing if they can ask your mom if you can spend a couple of nights with them.

We hope that the resources provided to you today can help you along the way. If you need additional help, or want us to reach out to an organization on your behalf please give us a call 24/7 at 1800) 786-2929. Best of luck!