Boyfriend's Mother is Mentally Abusive

[Guest]

My Boyfriend and I have been dating for little over a year. IFor most of our dating I've known that his mother has been abusive mentally and physically in the past. She affects his mental health, and he will become very sad or depressed at times because she will yell at him for pointless reasons. We're in a Long Distance Relationship, but we've met two times when he stayed over at my house. He cant take it anymore. He tries everything to please her: Doing good in school, keeping his desk (the only thing thats his because he doesnt have his own room) clean, and getting along with his sister. He doesnt know what else to do and says it like walking around eggshells with her. He never knows when she'll be okay or not. He wants to leave, but his family would never let him. What can we do? I doubt there is anything we can do. He is 16, 17 in two months, and Ill be 16 next month. He also lives in Ohio, and me in Iowa. I need advice badly. Thank you.

[ccsmod6]

Hello and thank you for reaching out to the National Runaway Safeline. We are sorry to hear that your boyfriend is stuck in a home environment that does not sound healthy for him. It sounds like his mother is not treating him appropriately or fairly. He is very lucky that he has someone like you who clearly cares a lot about him and wants to support him.


It sounds like your boyfriend may need some adult support in his life with these issues you described. As you said, being a few states away makes it difficult for you to be supportive no matter how much you want to be. It might be a good idea for him to see if he can talk about these issues with a school counselor, teacher, or therapist. If he does not feel like those sorts of people are available in his life, we would recommend that he calls out to us directly. We would be happy to help him sort through these issues and figure out more specifically what options he has. Or, he could try reaching out to the National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI) at 1-800-950-NAMI or nami.org. They are an organization that helps people find local and affordable mental health resources that could help with your boyfriend’s depression.


If you or your boyfriend would like to talk more about your situation and what other possibilities there might be, please don’t hesitate to call us at 1-800-786-2929 or chat us at 1800runaway.org.

Take care,
NRS