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  • Running away(maybe)

    I am thinking very seriously about running away because my parents fight all of the time. My dad makes my mom mad because of this other woman he always hangs out with. Then she vents on me and I get really angry at my dad. He also never believes anything I say about this woman or anything else for that matter. He doesn't care what I think. I feel like crying all of the time and I don't know how to tell my friends or anyone else. I don't know what to do and I feel like running away but I don't have enough money yet.

  • #2
    Re: Running away(maybe)

    Hello,

    It is really great of you to contact us at the National Runaway Switchboard. We hope that we can be of service to you now and that you continue to reach out in the future for other suggestions on how to tackle your situation at home. It sounds very overwhelming at this point to witness all that is happening between your mother and father. Have you reached out to other relatives for advice on what to do? What if anything in the past has worked to get your parents to understand the struggles you face? Is it possible to sit each of them down to speak on it?

    We are not here to tell you what to do because our position is simply to listen first and respond with options when you write on our post. However, we wish to hear from you in person and hope that you can call us anytime, day or night, to speak with one of our live liners. Our hotline number can be reached 24 hours a day at 1800RUNAWAY. Do you see any benefit to calling and if not, can we help you try to figure out ways to cope. By simply having someone to talk to and reflecting on ways you can better your own situation can go a long way. We want to help you make the best of the situation, whether you choose to leave or stay.

    How long have you been thinking about running away? We imagine that you are going over these issues in your head. Do you know where you are going and how you are going to get there? What are your expectations for what life is going to be like away from home? Do you have any idea what your parents might do when you leave? Do you think they would file a runaway report? Running away is not illegal in most places but there are some consequences to getting caught. Normally, it is left up to police discretion for how to settle these matters. They can return you home to parents or take other measures depending on their procedures. However, it is not for us to change your mind. We only wish to assist you and to give the run down on what to expect in some instances.

    We imagine it must be difficult to navigate through life with your parents coming at you from all angles. How do you cope with the stress of life? Do you draw, journal, listen to music or read? Are you able to take walks to calm down when you are upset? What skills do you utilize to get things off your mind? Are you able to immediately reenter the comfort of your home on occasions after a fight or argument with your parents or do you need more time to trust them again? What are some images or thoughts of your parents when things were positive? Do you see this happening again for you?

    Are you in school? Have you ever considered seeing a counselor or speak with school personnel to reevaluate your situation? When you are upset with your parents, are you able to confront them at this point or do you avoid them? Do you trust any adults in your life at this point? Do you feel comfortable seeking out a trusted friend at this time?

    We hope that you can see the benefits of the long term and short term approaches to these issues. Looking ahead, what do you see as the first issue you must tackle to get to the bottom of the bigger ones? Do you think it is a dead cause reaching out to your parents to get them to understand you better? What are the benefits to having someone from a local church or community organization intervene? Do you think we can help mediate some to these conflicts?

    We have a service call a conference call in which you call us from any payphone or even from a friend’s house. If you call to request the service and wish to call home, we can conference a call to your parents to talk about ways to resolve the conflict. There are times when speaking alone get you so far but with someone to mediate, this service can help you and your parents elaborate more on what needs to start happening to create change. We support you during the call and help both sides articulate their feelings. The goal is to arrive at some sort of compromise or resolution. Please let us know what alternatives you are willing to try and what we can do to help. We hope that this service can help to empower you to the point where you can tackle these issues and lessening the intensity of the conflicts at home. Good luck and we look forward to hearing from you.

    -NRS
    Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

    National Runaway Safeline
    [email protected] (Crisis Email)
    1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)

    Tell us what you think about your experience!
    https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/YourOpinionMattersToUs

    Comment


    • #3
      Re: Running away(maybe)

      i've never really talked to anyone about the situation at home and don't know adult that i would feel comfortable sharing all the information with. i've thought about running away for about a month now but i don't have enough money to make it where i want to go. i think my parents would file a runaway report though because i'm a few years away from being a legal adult. it's just that sometimes it is bearable but sometimes the situation is so bad i just want to tell my dad everything that i think about him and i know that wouldn't help the situation at all. another problem is that my mom has asked him to stop associating with this lady and that it hurts her physically and emotionally to the point where she is sick but he just doesn't care. he thinks she is just being spiteful. i don't know what i'm going to do. i think i'm going to try to talk to my older brother though. he doesn't know about this because he doesn't live at home.

      Comment


      • #4
        Re: Running away(maybe)

        Thank you for continuing to share your story with us. It sounds like although you have thought about running away this past month, you feel as though you do not have enough money at this time. We are not in a position to tell you to run or not, but questions regarding survival commonly come up when someone is considering running away as an option. You sound quite mature to be thinking about finances when considering your decision. You also sound like an incredibly strong person to deal with this situation with your mom, dad, and his female friend. It must be extremely difficult to never have really talked to anyone about this situation at home. You mentioned talking to your older brother which sounds like a plan. If you would like to talk to anyone else about this, remember you are welcome to call us anytime at 1-800-RUNAWAY. We wish you the best of luck!

        -NRS
        Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

        National Runaway Safeline
        [email protected] (Crisis Email)
        1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)

        Tell us what you think about your experience!
        https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/YourOpinionMattersToUs

        Comment


        • #5
          Re: Running away(maybe)

          thabk you for all of your help. it certainly has given me a lot to think about.

          Comment


          • #6
            Re: Running away(maybe)

            i am considering running away ,but i have no where to go and from reading this form it maybe illegal to stay anywhere with out my parents permission. i live on ca. can you tell me if this is a law in my state.aslo what if one parent says its ok

            Comment


            • #7
              Re: Running away(maybe)

              Hello,

              It is nice to hear from you again. We hope that you are safe and still making the best out of what seems to be a vey complicated situation. How have you been surviving thus far? The question you ask in regards to leaving home, depends heavily on your age at this time, where you are in CA and where you intend to go. When someone under the age of 18 runs away in CA, it is still the rights of your parents, even when they do not seem to care, to file a runaway report. It is one safeguard against charges filed on them for neglecting to report you missing and also to verify that you are a runaway if you are found by the police.

              Evey city, county and state deals with runaways differently. It comes down to police discretion on most cases. They can choose to return you home, hold you in juvenile or they might not even go looking for you. It depends on their policy and willingess to take action. If one of your parents told you that it was okay to leave, it still does not take away the right of the other parent to file one. If both parents has custody, one parent cannot dominate the other's rights. Even if they were seperated, the non-custodial parent can file a runaway report if the parent with custody does not.

              Do you have a plan for leaving? How do you plan on surviving? What have you set in motion to make sure your goals are still possible when you leave? If you need to walk through a plan that you have to make sure you are comfortable with us, we hope that you consider calling us. We are here for you 24 hours a day at 1800RUNAWAY. You hope you remain safe and wish you all the best.

              -NRS
              Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

              National Runaway Safeline
              [email protected] (Crisis Email)
              1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)

              Tell us what you think about your experience!
              https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/YourOpinionMattersToUs

              Comment

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