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I’m 13 and I don’t feel loved at home anymore.

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  • I’m 13 and I don’t feel loved at home anymore.

    I’m currently 13 years old, and I hate it here. Everyday it feels like h*ll and school doesn’t help either. My mom is an alcoholic, and she lost custody of me when i was in 5th grade. I’m currently in eighth. I haven’t seen her since then, and she was never really there for me as a mother. She’s sent me a necklace and a card for some things, but other than that no communication. Sometimes she would try and call me, but she gave up because she didn’t care anymore. I also have a sister, whose 20 right now and we don’t really talk anymore, besides some holidays and her texting to see what’s up every month or 2. I miss her a lot but we were never really close. On to the real issue, is my dad and my brother. Since my mom has lost custody of me, I’ve been living with my dad. Where we live it’s really lonely, and we only have 2 real neighbors around. My dad seems like a nice kinda father when you meet him, but when you know him it doesn’t feel like that. When I was in 5th grade or so he remarried to two women in Africa who were half his age, and didn’t consider my feelings. He’d known all the crap I’d gone through up until that point and he couldn’t even consider how i’d feel about it. And despite me telling him how I don’t care for them, and how they’re fake and he’s getting scammed, he doesn’t do anything. I get that he’s old and probably lonely, but he couldn’t even consider my feelings on that. We got in a fight last tuesday and I was yelling at him, and I hit him (also consider i’m 1/3 of his size) and then he hit me and I couldn’t breathe for a while, he also didn’t care to see If i could or not. After that he told me how If i think about hitting him again, i’d better regret it. In a car ride this morning, I was late for school and he was yelling at me, along with my brothers and he said if i continue he’ll get me for elder abuse. He’s also told me how he’ll call the cops on me, because I didn’t go to school the other day because I felt bad. long with my brother, he’s never liked me. He’s always told me how fat and ugly I was, and how much of a brat I was and how much he wishes I were dead. My dad tells me to just ignore it, but he doesn’t get how much it affects me. I know a lot of this sounds like nothing but when you have to live with it, and come home to it everyday it’s something. I cry a lot and I don’t feel like I really have anybody at school to talk to. The house I come home to everyday right now, doesn’t feel like home anymore. I’ve always been the one apologizing because I’ve always felt as if it were my fault and I was lonely so I just said sorry, but not this time. Even on what was supposed to be the best of days, It never seems to be for me. School is a whole ‘nother thing and it doesn’t help. The only person whose noticed anything is my second period teacher, and I don’t wanna talk to the counselor because she’d probably think i’m exaggerating even though she’s nice. I just really hate it here, all the time it’s just torture.

  • #2
    Thanks for contacting us. It can be frustrating when your family is not supporting you and providing the type of care that they should be. No one should ever feel unsafe or not loved in their home. It takes a lot of courage to reach out and get support and you should not feel that your problems are ever too small to ask for help.
    You mentioned that you would not feel comfortable talking to your school counselor about what is going on but have you consider talking to your second period teacher about what is going on. They might be able to give some local resources or just be able to offer some support. You mentioned that your dad hit you no one should ever be hitting you. You can always contact Child Help which is the National Child Abuse Hotline at 1-800-422-4453 or by their website at childhelp.org.
    Remember you are never alone and you can always reach out to us 24/7 at our hotline 1-800-786-2929 or through our live Chat.
    Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

    National Runaway Safeline
    [email protected] (Crisis Email)
    1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)

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