i don't know what to do

[Guest]

i have just runaway a couple days ago and do not know what i can do. my mom and i got into a fight about me breaking the rules at my house and i told her i would take the punishment of being grounded. but instead she threw me up against a wall and started choking me (with her 1 yr old baby in the other arm) then she made me sit against the wall and she took every item out of my purse and thrw it at me. This is not the first time an event like this has occured. Several months ago my step dad beat me so terribly i had at least 7 bruises, part of my hair had been ripped out, and i had two hand print marks on my body. when this happened last time i ran away but went to school and told them what happend and had them take pictures of my bruises. This time, i cant go back. My mom told me that if i lived with her she was going to drop me out of school and send me to an alcohol rehab center in a different state. (FOR THE RECORD i am not an alcoholic my mom lets me drink on occasion and her telling me she's going to send me to rehab does not make sense to me either. ) I have no job. no liscense. and hardly any cash. I have not spoken to my father in almost ten years because of abuse reasons, and my mom told me i cannot go to her side of the family for help. i'll be 18 in a couple months. I have no ideas on what to do with getting a job or a car. i'm living in a temporary home right now but i dont want them to get in trouble if my mom filed me as a runaway. please if you have any advice, write back asap

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Re: i don't know what to do

Dear Broken,

Thank you so much for having the courage to write in to us today. You have been through quite an ordeal and we are glad to know that you are currently in a safe place. You do not deserve to be hit or have things thrown at you. There is absolutely nothing you could do to warrant that sort of treatment and it is wrong for your mom and step dad to treat you that way.

Our first and foremost interest is to keep youth safe and off the streets. You mentioned that you are living in a “temporary home” right now. What do you mean by that? It sounds like for now you feel safe to stay there, but you don’t want to put anyone at risk by staying there too much longer. Do you think your mom would report you as a runaway?

From what you wrote, you seem pretty unclear about what you might do after you have to leave your current location since you have no contact with your biological father and can’t turn to your mom’s family. Have you thought about other people you might be able to stay with, such as friends or trusted adults? If you need help finding a place to go, at 1-800-RUNAWAY we have a database of shelters around the United States so we could definitely try and help you find a safe place to stay. Some shelters are short term emergency shelters and others are more long term transitional living programs. Depending on what you are looking for, we could try and find something appropriate for you. Something important to keep in mind though is that shelters aren’t hide outs. What we mean by that is that while they provide a safe haven for youth, they can’t hide you out. So, if you were to go to a shelter they would have to call social services and/or your legal guardian. What do you think about that?

You wrote that several months ago there was an incident of abuse and you went to your school about it. You should be proud of yourself for having the strength to speak out about what happened! Usually teachers and other school personnel are mandated reporters. Meaning, they are required by law to report child abuse. Do you know if they ever filed a report? If so, what happened? Would you be interested in filing another report? If so, that is something else we can help with. Even if you aren’t quite sure what you want, we can talk with you about the pros and cons of reporting abuse and help you weigh your options.

We hope that you are able to keep safe. Give us a call at 1-800-RUNAWAY. We are anonymous and confidential.

-NRS