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I am 16 and I need to leave my family desperately. Need Advice on what to do...

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  • I am 16 and I need to leave my family desperately. Need Advice on what to do...

    I am 16 and I need to leave my family. I tried everything and I can't take it anymore...

    I am currently living with my emotionally abusive parents and my older brother. My parents constantly blame me or my peers for family problems or any problem they have with me, their choices, for their actions when they hurt me. They blame everyone, but themselves because they don't think they did anything wrong and they refuse to reflect their actions at all. Moreover, they are constantly critical about how I look and how I act, I'm not allowed to be angry or be myself around them they also have high, unrealistic expectations. This damaged my self-esteem for 6 years and I feel they are embarrassed of me and don't love the real me, but an ideology they created in their head. They also value my achievements and looks more than who I am, but they always claim I'm trying to be someone I'm not. Furthermore, they manipulate me that their right and I'm wrong, no one would like me, without them I have no one and convince me to not get professional help because the government will watch me or I'll lose educational opportunities. They also make me feel guilty, force me to do things I refuse to do and micromanage me or not let me do simple things because they don't believe I can do anything. This caused me to be dependent on others which caused problems in a lot of relationships. Lastly, they manipulate me into thinking that my friends aren't real causing me to become paranoid and anxious which strained my relationships with other people. They tried to separate me from my peers for months and they criticize them. They have threatened to cut off my relationships, do something to me or send me away somewhere. I have tried everything. I tried talking to them and explaining myself, but they see that as rude or talking back. They don't listen to me. My boyfriend who is helping has tried to find anyone he knows who is willing to let me stay for a while. I have tried to get help from shelters, care centers, services and more, social services tried to help me express how I felt, how they were hurting me and what they were doing wrong. They still do the same things and nothing has changed. Whenever I tried to get the help they encouraged me to talk it out and fix the relationship, but I honestly don't want to have a relationship with them anymore because It feels like a chore. I'm tired of feeling obligated to fix the relationship, of feeling guilty, of talking to them, of looking at them, listening to their hurtful words, of being pressured to do things I don't do by them and others, of questioning myself and my judgment, of being manipulated, of having unnecessary restrictions or limitations and more and I just can't handle it anymore.

  • #2
    Thank you for reaching out to me. It sounds like you are in a really difficult situation right now. It must be hard living in a household were you are being controlled. You can contact Child Help at 1800-422-4453 and talk with someone about how your parents are emotionally abusive and they will explain what options you may have. It sounds like you have a lot of awareness about the way your parents are. Maybe you can go to therapy to work through some of the things you are experiencing. Sometimes talking to someone and finding ways to create boundaries and learn coping mechanisms can help you learn to deal with the situation you are in right now until you can move on. Also maybe you can try to talk with another family member or someone you trust and have them talk to your parents. It seems like you are trying everything you can to get in a better environment. While we are not experts on the law, 18 is generally the age that an individual may leave home without parent permission. If you are under 18 and leave home, your parent/guardian may file you as a runaway and you may be returned home. Also, those who you stay with may run the risk of being charged with harboring a runaway. The way to get the most accurate information would be to call your local police non-emergency number and anonymously inquire about their practices. If you need someone to talk to you can contact NAMI at 1800-950-NAMI. If you want to discuss more about what is going on at home or just vent you can always call us at 1800-Runaway. We are 24/7, confidential and here to help! Thanks again for being so honest. Best of luck!
    Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

    National Runaway Safeline
    [email protected] (Crisis Email)
    1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)

    Tell us what you think about your experience!


    • #3
      Hi, thank you for responding to me quickly. We have tried the therapy thing and talking to other people and even social services ect about it, and trying things to handle the situation, but my parents keep on being the same. They never change, and whenever I act the specific way they want me to be, they still do the same thing, communication doesn't work at all(my whole family is like this). I need to get away from this place. So to leave "home", what would I do or who would I call, and again, Thank you.


      • ccsmod10
        ccsmod10 commented
        Editing a comment
        Thank you so much for following up with us. We want you to know that we are here as support to help you through this challenging time. We can best help by phone or chat as NRS is unable to respond more than twice by email or bulletin for assistance. If you would like to talk more in detail and share more about how we can help specifically, please call or chat soon.
        Our contact information is 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929); (click on the chat button).

        If you are at risk of any danger or feeling unsafe, we encourage you to reach out to 911 or seek emergency assistance immediately.
        We hope to hear from you soon.

        Be safe, NRS
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