I've ruined my parents lives

[Unregistered]

Since the beginning,of my parents teenage years, I have always found a way to make them upset, and do things they wouldn't ever have to do. My mother had me when she was 16 and my father was 19. There was no money, no food, and the house was infested by rats. However,they pushed through and today, they have a home, with jobs, and three kids. The problem here however is that they never ever got to follow their goals, or dreams because they had me at a young age. They've gone through patches of unfaithfulness, and they fight honestly everyday. I've ruined them in a way, that is unfair, for anybody, they are not soulmates. When I was young, I never realized it but now? It's all I can think about when I see the hatred in their eyes. All because of me, they had to stay with another person who doesn't even love them. They had to stay with a sad regular restaraunt job, with a child who only brings hurt into the family. At one point a while back I attempted suicide 3 times. I was too afraid to do it. And I spoke to God, he brought me to my senses. I understood what things parents had to do when a kid was being disobedient. But now it's the same day everyday. My dad wakes me up hits me and then tells me to go clean the dogs mess. I know he loves me, I know they both love me, it's just sad that he thinks I don't have ears or a mouth. It's sad to think that he doesn't know I can listen and I can undertsand and I can speak, if he just calmly says it. I understand right from wrong. And sometimes I do miss some things, but violence shouldn't be what he responds with. He buys me things he gives me presents he shows how important I am, but sometimes with the mental, physical and emotional pain, he brings me, it's hard to even look at it that way. I want to runaway because of the fact that I am a disappointment to my parents lives. A burden. Even just for a couple days. I need to get away. Please don't call the police, they have lives to live, they've worked very hard, for me to just add another problem.

[ccsmod9]

Re: I've Ruined My Parents Lives

Thank you very much for writing us, today. We are so sorry to hear that you feel like you are a burden. You certainly do not deserve to feel like that. You are amazing, and your parents deserve to experience that. Also, you do not deserve to be hit by your father. If you ever feel endanger or that you are being abused, feel free to call the National Abuse Hotline (1-800-4-CHILD or 1-800-422-4453). It is understandable that you want to put an end to your situation.

If you were to choose to run away as a minor, the consequence would be that your parents could file a runaway report, leading to police nationwide to know that you ran. The police can then return you back home. Furthermore, those who help you can be charged with harboring a runaway. If you would like to explore your options and ways to help you cope with and find solutions for your situation, please call, chat, or email us so that we can help.

We hope to hear from you soon! You are doing an awesome job of being resourceful and finding resources for yourself.

Best,

NRS