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What are my options when running away?

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  • What are my options when running away?

    I am 16 years old and the state that I live in running away is illegal. I feel the need to start over from the house I live in. My father was in the military and moving around was how I always grew up. He recently retired and my depression started developing three years ago. Just last year I harmed myself at home as a distress call to my parents. They have never taken anything I say seriously until I make a dramatic change. I've always considered running away but things like the law, education opportunities and money stop me from following through. I need a plan to get out and start over but still have a future for myself.

  • #2
    re: What are my options when running away?

    Hello,

    Thank you for contacting us. From what you shared, you are feeling unsupported by your family. We are hearing that you aren't getting the attention from them that you feel you need. That must be pretty frustrating for you to deal with! Here at NRS we are non directive, so we won't be able to give you specific advice on how to run away. We don't help youth to leave home. In general if you are 16 and you know running away isn't a good idea, then you may want to re think of some ways you can find help. You may be able to talk with a school counselor once that starts back up, or maybe talk with any other adult that you trust. Maybe you could get involved with some activities that you enjoy? If you do decide to leave home, you may want to consider consequences. If you leave there is the chance you could be made to go back. If there is anything that we can help with further, feel free to reach out to us via calling 1-800-RUNAWAY or chat with us on our website.

    Take care,
    NRS
    Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

    National Runaway Safeline
    [email protected] (Crisis Email)
    1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)

    Tell us what you think about your experience!
    https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/YourOpinionMattersToUs

    Comment


    • #3
      Re: What are my options when running away?

      Is there somewhere that I can get in touch with people that have runaway before? Maybe they can tell me how they did it and all the things they considered before hand. I love my parents but they keep pressuring me into all the directions that fit the image of their perfect daughter. Things like my depression and wants for my life that don't fit their image are shoved aside. Sometimes my father gets so angry at me when I refuse to do something they wish for me to do that I don't know if he can control his temper. He's never hit but there has been times when he's grabbed me and my mom yells at him to calm down.

      Comment


      • #4
        Re: What are my options when running away?

        Originally posted by Unregistered View Post
        Is there somewhere that I can get in touch with people that have runaway before? Maybe they can tell me how they did it and all the things they considered before hand. I love my parents but they keep pressuring me into all the directions that fit the image of their perfect daughter. Things like my depression and wants for my life that don't fit their image are shoved aside. Sometimes my father gets so angry at me when I refuse to do something they wish for me to do that I don't know if he can control his temper. He's never hit but there has been times when he's grabbed me and my mom yells at him to calm down.


        Thanks for reaching out to us. It sounds like you’re having a difficult time at home with your parents. There is conflict between what you want and what your parents want for you, and you’re uncertain about how strongly your father can react during arguments. You feel the need to escape from this stressful situation by running away. We’re glad you reached out to us to learn more about your options.

        For many places in the United States, if you are under 18 years old and leave home without parental permission, your parents have the right file a runaway report with the police. The act of running away isn't a crime, so you wouldn’t be going to jail, but you would have to be returned to your legal guardian if police were to find you. You could also be placed at a station until someone could pick you up. If your parents do happen to know where you are located, they could also send over the local police to get them to check up and bring you back home. It is possible that whoever you stay with could also be charged with harboring a runaway which could result in other legal issues. We are not legal experts though, so you may want to call your local police to ask what the consequences are for running away if you are under 18 years old. For all states though, if you are 18 years old or older, you would be considered an adult and thus you would legally be allowed to leave home.

        It sounds like you are considering running away as a real option. What would your overall plan be (i.e., long term housing [who would you stay with and for how long], transportation, financial stability, access to food/clothes, going to school, etc.)? Having a solid plan about what you are planning on doing might be a good idea so that you could think about what is reasonably possible for you to do and want isn’t.

        If you decided to run away and needed a place to stay, we could look up shelters and safe place sites for you to stay in order to make sure you are safe. Another service we provide could be to facilitate a conference call between you and your parents. We would mediate the call, and it would allow you to clearly express your concerns and feelings to your parents in a safe space.
        Another option is to call us, and we could provide mental health resources for you in your area if are feeling mental and emotional distress or would want family counseling.

        Again, we’re really glad that you reached out to us. It takes a lot to ask for help and you are trying to figure out your options which is really good to see. If you would like to talk further about your situation, please do not hesitate to call us at 1-800-RUNAWAY or chat with us www.1800 runaway.org. We’re here to listen, here to help.
        Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

        National Runaway Safeline
        [email protected] (Crisis Email)
        1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)
        https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/YourOpinionMattersToUs

        Comment


        • #5
          Re: What are my options when running away?

          Do you know of any schools that would allow me to enroll if there is no parent signature? Transportation wouldn't be that hard since I will have money for public transportation and I could always walk. I could stay at shelters until I save up enough for somewhere else. I can withdraw money from my account using my debit card at an atm before leaving. That would leave me with a fair amount to leave the state and find a job elsewhere. My only concern is still being able to receive an education without parent signatures for enrollment.

          Comment


          • #6
            re: What are my options when running away?

            Hey there,

            Thank you for contacting us. Right now, it seems that you are concerned about how to continue your education if you run away. We here at NRS don't have the access to that kind of information. If you are a minor, we imagine that will be difficult to do without your parents. Most schools require your parents to enroll you. As long as you are a minor your parents would probably need to be involved in things like that until you are 18. In general, shelters may not let you stay more than a few days before you have to contact your parents as well. If you have any other questions, please let us know.

            Best of luck to you,
            NRS
            Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

            National Runaway Safeline
            [email protected] (Crisis Email)
            1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)

            Tell us what you think about your experience!
            https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/YourOpinionMattersToUs

            Comment

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