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Im 15 and I want to leave my house

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  • Guest's Avatar
    Guest replied
    I am 14 years old, turning 15 on Jan 2. I want to move in with my boyfriend who I have been with for over a year. He is 18 years old and we are exactly 3.5 years apart in age (His birthday’s July 2nd and mines on January 2nd). My parents also strongly disapprove of our relationship and make it very difficult for the both of us, but even then we have made it this far and I have not for one second hesitated to the way I feel about him. I’m pretty sure I’m in love with him and he makes me very happy whenever we can talk. I have bad issues with my parents and do not get along with them AT ALL, if we talk its usually just us fighting. I have been depressed living with my parents and they can be emotionally and sometimes but rarely physically abusive, they blame me for a lot of stuff (including how their relationship is unhealthy and slowly ending), they are also either very neglectful or very clingy and strict to the point where sometimes I won’t be able to leave to go on a jog/walk. Sometimes they make me so depressed by the way that they treat me I can become very suicidal, I have attempted once (this was a little more than a year ago, before I met my boyfriend). I wouldn’t try to take my life ever again but I find myself miserable and slowly withering away the majority of time living with my parents. My boyfriend lives in America and I live in Canada and distance is rough for the both of us, especially because my mom is now starting to shut off the wifi 99% of the time, (which is also effecting some of my schoolwork and grades). The wifi is literally on a max of 20 minutes a day now. That makes talking with my boyfriend (one of the only people who make me happy and feel ok) a lot harder. I do have a passport and dual citizenship so I am an American citizen and lived there around two years ago as well. My dream is really just to move to him and be with him, or at the least away from my parents who make me feel like absolute ******** 99% of the time. Please help me.. I don’t know what to do and all I want to do is be with my boyfriend right now..

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  • ccsmod10
    commented on Guest's reply
    Hi there,

    It definitely sounds like you're going through a lot. Your situation sounds like it could indeed be quite frustrating and stressful. Unfortunately we don't know anything about the resources available to people in New Zealand or what laws apply to you. Consequently, we can't accurately respond to the question in your post. 0800 37 66 33 is the number to a youth crisis hotline in New Zealand that may be able to help. They're open 24/7.

    Best,
    NRS

  • Guest's Avatar
    Guest replied
    hey I want to leave home coz lately more than ever there has been a lot of ******** going down at home and ******** at school and I don't wanna live with my mum in brazil coz she left me when I was really little and didn't even fight for me but she does have her other children but anyway I live wit my dad and hes not that abusive these days but I hate his temper and ********and I don't want to live here anymore and id rather just live with my boyfriends family coz I know them and trust them and I feel a lot not only safer but also a lot more welcomed but im only 15 and I already ran away not long ago but I was found and that's partly why ******** at home has gotten worse but I dont care I just want to leave and start a job and start my life independently so please help me, what can I do that will enable me to leave home NOW??????????

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  • ccsmod8
    commented on Guest's reply
    Hello there –

    Thank you for taking the time out of your day to get into contact with us here at the National Runaway Safeline on our public forum, we are always here to listen and here to help in any way that we can. We do want to say that it must be very hard for you to have to go through all of this. It sounds like a very awful situation for you to find yourself in. No one deserves to be treated or talked to like that. You are very brave for reaching out to us here in order to get more support.

    From your post it sounds like you are looking for specific places that you want can possibly go to. It’s hard to talk to just anyone one about what has been going on. Please rest assured that we are completing confidential. So anything that you share with us will stay between us.

    If you’re in danger you have the right to call out to the police, especially if your mother is kicking you out or threatening you. It is illegal for a parent to kick-out a minor without finding them alternative stable living. If that does happen you can always call out to your local child protective services to report the neglect and child abandonment.

    We certainly want to help you. If you give us a call on our 24/7 hotline at 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) we could help you find resources in your area and could potentially help you brainstorm a possible solution to the issues you are having. We would love to talk to you.

  • Guest's Avatar
    Guest replied
    i am in need of new housing because im no longer wonted in my house hold and i quote my mother said " you can go kill your self and i will not give a [email protected] their is no love between us and i don't want you any more"

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  • ccsmod1
    replied
    Hi there,

    Thank you for reaching out to us at the National Runaway Safeline. We're sorry to hear about so many of the instances that you mentioned happening in your post and want you to know that you deserve to feel safe and happy in your home. Sometimes it can feel good to just let it all out, like in your journal or in a forum post. It sounds like you have done a lot for yourself, often times without the support and help of your family, and you should be proud of all you have accomplished in sports, school and other aspects of your life. It is understandable that you would feel frustrated by your mom and feel isolated from your friends and potential boyfriends. We are here 24/7 at 1-800-786-2929 if you ever need someone to talk to or if you would like help having a conversation with your mom or other family member about all that you are feeling. We have a conference call service here at NRS where a liner can be on the phone while you are talking with her so we can help keep the conversation safe and fair. Let us know if that is something you would be interested in. We could also help you express how you want more freedom or if you want to have access to other services, like counseling or we can help by providing legal aid numbers if you are interested in emancipation.

    Let us know how we can best help, and thank you for sharing your story.

    Best,

    NRS

    Leave a comment:


  • Guest's Avatar
    Guest replied
    My father and mother do everything they can to keep me maintained, i’m the youngest out of 3 kids my brother is 26, my sister is 20 and i’m 15 about to turn 16, i recently started talking to a guy that lives 45 minuets away from me but we met through a friend and we talked on the phone a lot until he decided that he wanted to meet me in person, he wanted to take me out on a date and i really wanted to go, he’s the same race as i am but from a different country. I play club and school soccer and i’m so grateful to have the opportunity to because not anyone can play club soccer, it takes a lot of skill and commitment. i practice half way across town 2 days of the week and the school i’m zones to is 20 minuets away from where i live even though there is a high school 3 minuets from my house. at the school i attended i was bullied my freshman year and i didn’t think much of it until i realized it was causing me to cry myself to sleep each night and i didn’t want to go to school. My mom saw me crying one night and i told her everything, the kids made fun of me for being a virgin, having a scar on my knee and because of the clothes i wore, also because my voice is very soft and i talk properly. once they made a comment about me going to a christian concert and i made a joke of it with them but it had me thinking for a while. The staff didn’t do much but my councilor told me i was emotionally unstable and suicidal. I told her i wouldn’t ever kill myself because i believe God is the giver and taker of life. They made me sign a paper i was suicidal and a bunch of stuff happened but the outcome was small and didn’t help me at all, i just learned to fight my own battle and i went to school, did all my work in every class and went to all my soccer practices and got my ******** done. there was a time where i felt so alone because i had no friends but my family was so supportive of me and did everything they could to make me happy. My parents and i were in a good place so then this summer i asked to go on that date and i was allowed to go, my mom dropped me off and met the boy, she spoke to his mom on the phone and our plan worked out, the date went well, he’s very respectful and he goes through his own problems at home because his mom is an alcoholic and his dad left them but he sends them money when he feels like it. When i got back with my mom after the date she was very angry at me and asked me why do i want to have a boyfriend, and if i’m not gonna focus on school anymore then to just tell her so she can take me out which i found so unreasonable and uncalled for but i didn’t talk back to her i just let her speak. My mom told my dad and my dad told my brother, my dad and brother didn’t really care thy just wanted me to be safe and tell them ahead of time when i go out which i could see that i did wrong by not telling them sooner that i was. going out with a guy. My mom told me the guy was so ugly and that he talks wierd. he was very respectful to her when they met and i don’t know why she thought that. I kept talking to the guy and he was afraid he wouldn’t get my parents approval to be my boyfriend, we both cared a lot about doing things right by our parents because we are both good kids like he’s very smart and is one class older than me, he’s really good at tennis and has gotten 2 offers from universities. A week later, i was falling asleep and he calls me, my ringer was on full volume because i had it on for my alarm for school the next day, my mom runs to my room and i didn’t hear her coming so i answered and he bursts the door of my room open and snatched my phone from my hand and yells at me while he is on the phone, i hung up fast and she made me take off my password and starts looking through our conversations and she sees that i told him that i’d ask for permission to see him again and she yelled at me for that, she made me feel like ******** for something that’s isn’t bad. my brother walks in and tells me “who gave you permission to have a boyfriend?” and i got in a lot in trouble, i got my phone taken away and the. next day i was late for school because i had no alarm and my dad told me it was my fault i didn’t wake up. My brother sees me in the morning and yells at me to get my school things done and to get my priorities done. it affected me a lot because he doesn’t even see how hard i try to stay on top of all my school stuff, i have straight A’s and i’m in mainly advanced classes, i joined wrestling because the coach thinks i’d be really good for the team and it’s my first year and he wants me on varsity, i joined because it can help me in soccer and to have more time away from being at home. It hurt me that he said that because like i said i work so hard in everything i do and it all goes under appreciated, at home i’m the only one that cleans the restrooms and scrubs the toilet and tub with clorox and i keep my room clean. my parents are the ones who make a mess in the living rooms and kitchen but i clean up after then with out complaining and it’s been like that for a few years now. my brother and sister are older so they can leave as they please but my sister struggles to get let out of the house, she got a boyfriend a few months ago and my mom let’s them go out and she comes back whenever. i’m glad she has him and has a good time. she’s like my best friend and knows what i go through. I feel like i will never be enough for my parents. They want me to play professional soccer and i want that for myself as well. i also had trouble with depression and anxiety but i overcame it because of soccer and my trust in God’s word. I stil let little things get to me and i get really sad and i’ve gained some bad habits that could hurt my physical health but i know i can fix them if i feel powerful enough to. I feel confident when i’m alone and i’m not shy or afraid to express myself or my needs. When i go out in public and i’m alone i feel like i can be my own person and i am able to get the things i need done. I feel like i’m being held back from being a productive member of society being in this house. my mom stays at home and my dad works, my brother works with him. my sister is taking a break from school and is trying to find a job but needs a car to drive herself, my dad is able to get her a car but chooses not to for some reason. My mom doesn’t really spend her time wisely and when there’s something that needs to get done around the house she waits till last minute and stresses everyone out and she lets all her anger out on me. she tells me really mean things and thinks that i fake how much it hurts me even thought i am very sensitive and i’ve tried talking to her but she can never see from my point of view and the conversation we had is pointless because she isn’t able to captivate the effect her words have on me. i get in trouble for spending so much time in my room and my parents think i just go in there to be on my phone and talk to people but in reality i usually make music or play something while i write in a journal i got, i clean my room and work out in there but they don’t see it so they just assume. i don’t ever ask to go out because my mom brings it up in stressful situation even though i get back when i have to. when friends ask me to go out i just say i can’t because i know my mom will say no anyway and if she lets me go out, she’ll hold it against me. The guy i was trying to date had an argument with his mom and she called the cops on him because she said he hit her even though she bumped into the wall because she was drunk and that led him to drink a lot one night and he called me and i talked to him but he was so sad because he said my parents made it clear we have no future together. I don’t know what to tell my parents. i lied to my dad and told him that he texts me but i don’t text back because i don’t like him and i don’t care about having a boyfriend. which i don’t care for having a boyfriend but this is the only guy who i have felt sincerity from and he’s but a guy that just wants to have sex and leave me. my mom told me that he just wants to act nice to me because he wants to ******** me. that hurt me so much because i know it’s a lie. She always puts me down and makes fun of me for the way i dress. she tells me i look like a ********ing hippie and that i walk funny. she doesn’t know that i have good intentions and always expects the worse from me. i don’t mean to sound self obsessed but i work my body a lot and i am pretty tall and have a nice body for a girl my age so her and my dad tell me that i’m too pretty to be out and about so i have to take care of myself a lot. i tend to hide my physical characteristics with baggy clothes and that’s why my mom thinks i’m weird. She tells my sister and i that we are very beautiful and intelligent, she warns us about bad people in the world but i’ve been feeling like the closest i’ll ever get to a bad person is her, she makes me feel so insecure and powerless. My dad is always asking my sister what she wants to study and he wants the both of us to have stable careers but he thinks school is the only way to a happy life. I feel like i just need some space away from them but it’d only be like running away from my problems. i really like that guy but he is starting to distance himself from me because of my mom and i hate that so much. I just plan on getting a scholarship and getting out of this house. I’ve thought about running away but my parents would only get angry with me and call me stupid i don’t know what to do

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  • ccsmod10
    commented on Guest's reply
    Hi and thanks for reaching out to the National Runaway Safeline.

    It sounds like there is a lot going on in your life and we are glad you found us for help. We want you to know that we are non-directive, meaning we do not give out advice or tell anyone what to do (only you know what’s best for you situation!). However, we are here to help come up with a plan together for you to feel supported and stay safe.

    You mentioned that your mom hit you, although she doesn’t abuse you. We want you to know that no one has a right to hurt you, whether that’s physically, mentally, or emotionally. If your mom continues to slap you, or the slapping gets worse, we are here to support you (and can offer reporting info if you’re interested). You could also contact Child Help, the national child abuse hotline, at 1-800-422-4455 if you would like to speak to someone about it as well.

    Have you told your mom how fighting with her is affecting you and your mental health? We could discuss your situation and come up with options to make home a better place to be for you, like getting Grandma involved as a “mediator” or writing your mom a note expressing your side of things.

    Emancipation is a lengthy process, and could involve quite a few people. In some places, your legal guardian might even need to agree to the emancipation for it to be considered. You would go before a juvenile judge and prove that you are mentally, emotionally, and financially mature enough to be your own adult before 18 – this means you have to prove you are able to financially support yourself. If you call in, we could provide you with some referrals to answer more detailed questions about emancipation in your area.

    Thank you again for reaching out to us. We are here 24/7 at 1-800-RUNAWAY and encourage you to call in if you are comfortable.

    Be safe,

    NRS

  • Guest's Avatar
    Guest replied
    I’m really in a bad place in my life right now and I feel like I’m running out of options. I’m only 16. I went out with my boyfriend yesterday and I drank a little bit. When I got home, my mom noticed I was drinking and she slapped me in the face. My mom isn’t abusive, she’s a good mom and she tries really hard to support my brother and sister and I. Although her punishments are really harsh and uncalled for. I don’t usually drink and I never do drugs. I have a job and I feel responsible for someone my age. Every time something like this happens, (me getting into trouble with my mom) I always get really depressed and anxious. I feel like I’ve suffered from anxiety and depression since I was 12 but I never did anything about it because I don’t feel as if it’s that severe. When she slapped me, a while later I told my boyfriend to pick me up. We went to his house and my grandma called his mom and his mom brought me back home. My grandma is very understandind. She didn’t punish me. She just talked to me. My mom transferred all the money in my bank account to hers, I called off of work 2 days in a row, my manager is upset with me, my mom doesn’t have anything to say to me. I feel so disappointed in myself. I wish my mom had better parenting skills but I feel like I can’t blame this on her. My boyfriends mom offered me to go live at their house and I really want to. I want to get emancipated but I feel like that won’t work because it’s not entirely up to me and my mom. I know emancipation comes with a lot of responsibility but I feel like I can handle that. I don’t want to stay here. I love my family and I will always put them first but I need distance. I feel like if I were to tell my mom or the rest of my family that I want to live with my boyfriend then they’ll feel as if I’m stupid and I’m just saying that because I’m in love. I know what it seems like, but I just want to stay there for as long as I can save up for a place of my own. I’m still gonna go to school and I’m still gonna keep working no matter what. I don’t want to leave because I want to do whatever I want. I want to leave because I feel like I’ll be mentally happier. Please let me know if this is a good idea. If so, how should I convince my family? Also please let me know if emancipation for me is an option considering the fact that my mom is stable enough to take care of me and provide for me.

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  • ccsmod10
    commented on Guest's reply
    Hello,

    It sounds like you are going through a lot. It takes a lot of courage to reach out and we’re glad you did. You do not deserve to be treated that way. You have options, let’s look at some of them.

    It sounds like your parents might not be providing all the necessities needed for living which might be neglect. If you want to find out what it would look like to report this and talk more about potential verbal abuse and neglect would look like, you can call Child Help (1-800-422-4453 or childhelp.org). They would be able to answer specific questions around improving your home life.

    You mentioned it might not be an option to live with another relative for a while. This is usually helpful when there needs to be a change and folks don’t want to get the courts or other officials involved. If you want support in talking to your parents about exploring this option, call us at 1-800-RUNAWAY and we can conference with them to discuss these options.

    You also mentioned wanting to sleep through the days. There are low or no fee counselors in your area we can explore. Counselors can help with stressful situations or when we are not feeling 100% due to life situations. Give us a call or chat us and we can find resources in your area.

    Again, we’re really glad that you reached out to us. It takes a lot to ask for help and you are trying to figure out your options which is really good to see. Contact us anytime. We’re here to listen, here to help.

  • Guest's Avatar
    Guest replied
    I want to leave my house so badly, I hate it here, my parents are constantly telling me off for things that they even do themselves and it’s making me stressed. At my house my parents aren’t very organised with food and there isnt anything to eat until they go to the shop for dinner, most of the stuff in our cupboards is out of date, ive mentioned this to my parents before but that causes a screaming match which doesn’t help. My sister is also one of the main reasons why I want to leave she is always there annoying me any chance she’s gets. I’m only 15 and still in school doing GCSE work so I have nowhere to go and I doubt if I said to my parents that I want to leave to a relatives house they’d let me, they’d probably tell me to wise up, also I don’t think anyone in my family would actually want me to stay at their house for longer than a week. I hate living here it makes me feel sad and stressed but I have no other option so i tend to just sleep through the days and choose to ignore my family as much as possible. What should I do?

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  • ccsmod5
    commented on Guest's reply
    Hey,
    Thanks so much for writing in. It sounds like your relationship with your mom has been really difficult for you, and it sounds like you’ve been through a lot. We want you to know first that you are not alone in this. It can be so hard to feel emotionally drained, so thank you for having the courage to share your story. We’re not sure of the situation, but if you feel that your mother is abusing you, you have the right to file an abuse report to let child protective services know what’s going on. If you’re unsure about what that process would look like or what might happen if you do file a report, you can always call the National Child Abuse Hotline at 1-800-422-4453. Their website is childhelp.org.
    You mention that you want to leave your house, which is valid considering what’s going on with your mom. It might be helpful for you to know some general information about runaway laws. Though we are by no means legal experts, we can say that you need parental consent to leave home until you are a legal adult (in most states, this is 1. If you leave before then, your parents would have the right to file a runaway report and if the police find you they may return you home. An alternate route you might consider is asking your parents for permission to stay with a friend or a family member instead. That being said, if you believe that leaving home is the right decision for you right now, you might want to consider the following: where you’ll go, how you’ll get there, how long you’ll stay, where you’ll get food or money, and if you have clothing appropriate for extreme weather. It can be dangerous to leave home without resources or a plan, so we want to make sure that you keep your safety in mind.
    You wrote that “mentally, I’m broken.” That’s a really hard place to be in emotionally. One thing you might consider is talking to someone about how you’ve been feeling. It can sometimes be helpful to process your feeling with someone, and you definitely deserve to feel safe and supported. Even if you’re not getting that support from your family, we encourage to seek that support from other people you trust: your friends, maybe your dad or other family members, a guidance counselor, or a therapist. If you need help locating a mental health resource in your area, you can call the Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration referral line, and they can look for free or affordable resources in your area: 1-877-726-4727.
    Thanks again for reaching out. If you ever need someone to listen, connect you with resources, or help in any other way, please feel free to give us a call at 1-800-786-2929. We hope this response was helpful! We’d love to hear from you about your experience using our crisis forum. Your feedback plays an important role in helping us improve our services to youth and families. Please click the link to fill out our survey: https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/we_care_what_you_think

  • Guest's Avatar
    Guest replied
    I'm 16 and I want to leave my house not because of my dad but my mom she has put me through hell not physically but mentally I'm broken what do I do

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  • ccsmod10
    commented on Guest's reply
    Hi there,

    Thank you for contacting the National Runaway Safeline (NRS). We’re so sorry to hear that you are dealing with a stressful situation at home. Abuse of any kind is not ok. It’s very brave of you to reach out to us for help. It can be really difficult to open up about family issues.

    Living with someone who’s suffering from depression is really hard. Of course there’s not a whole lot you can do to change your mom’s moods and behavior so focusing on ways that you can try to keep a positive outlook might be the best way to deal with the situation. You might want to consider sharing your feelings with an adult you trust who knows your mom and understands your home situation like a grandparent, aunt, or uncle. They may have some good insights for you.

    I’ve also included information on a couple of organizations that provide emotional support for kids. It might be helpful to contact them to find help in your local area:

    Teen Line
    https://teenlineonline.org, (310) 855-4673 (available from 6pm-10pm Pacific Time every night),
    TEXT: 839863 (available from 6pm-10pm Pacific Time every night)
    Child Help
    www.childhelp.org, (800) 422-4453
    Running away might seem like a good option in these circumstances but in most states, you are not considered to be an adult until you turn 18 so if you leave home before then, your mom could file a runaway with the police. We are not legal experts at NRS but generally, once a report is filed, the police will search for you and take you back home if they find you. The most important thing for you to consider before attempting to leave home is that you have a safe place to stay and that you have enough money to pay for living expenses. Life on the streets as a kid can be really dangerous.

    We take calls 24 hours a day/7 days a week and we’d be glad to speak to you to learn more about your situation and determine how else we might be able help you.

    Take care.

  • Guest's Avatar
    Guest replied
    How can I leave my house legally at 15?
    My mom is verbally abusive and she gets set off by the smallest things. She always talks about how her kids are why shes so depressed and then when we talk about what we are going to do when we move out, she says "I dont wanna live after i lose my relationship with my kids"
    I get its hard for parents, but this is a daily thing for her?
    She threatens us a lot too and always says how we are lucky she doesnt beat the ******** out of us. I love my mom but i just cant view her as my family?

    Leave a comment:

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