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Im 15 and I want to leave my house

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  • ccsmod1
    commented on Guest's reply
    Hey Cameron,

    Thanks so much for reaching out and sharing a little bit about what’s been going on, we know that it takes a lot of courage. It must be really hard to live in a home with so much tension. We want you to know that we fully accept and respect you and your gender identity. You are not alone in this and the LGBT National Youth Talkline is a great resource that offers support for young people in similar situations to your own. The hotline is run by those that are familiar with the issues and experiences of those that are also a part of the LGBTQ community.

    You mentioned some things about "being taken away" and that there is some abuse going on at home (at some point). If you are at risk of any danger or feeling unsafe, we encourage you to reach out to 911 or seek emergency assistance immediately. If any harm or abuse is happening at home, you have the right to report it. If you feel like this is an option you want to explore, you may find this website helpful: https://www.childhelp.org/child-abuse/. We can also help you to file a report if that’s the route you are considering.

    You noted in your post that you've been having some issues in addition to your already diagnosed Asperger's and ADHD. It can be really hard to live with mental health issues and we want you to know that you aren’t alone in addressing them. If you’d like some additional support, an organization that may be helpful is the National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI). You can contact them by calling 1-800-950-NAMI or you can text them by sending NAMI to 741741. Another agency that could be of great help is the Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration (SAMHSA), they can help you locate low or no cost mental health care providers in your area. Their number is 1-800-662-4357 or you can go to their site at samhsa.gov.

    If you’d like to go over what’s going on in depth, or if you’d like to explore other options that you may have available to you, please don’t hesitate to call us at 1-800-RUNAWAY. You can also chat us by clicking on the “CHAT” button on top of our homepage. We’re open 24/7 and here to listen and support you in any way we can.

    We'd love to hear from you about your experience using our crisis forum. Your feedback plays an important role in helping us improve our services to support youth and families. Please click the link below to fill out our survey: https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/we_care_what_you_think

    Stay safe,
    NRS

  • Guest's Avatar
    Guest replied
    I'm 15 and my "real name" is Cheyenne, but call me Cameron. I am a trans male, at least as much as I can be. That's the problem, especially now. My family sucks i hate them. I just wish I could leave them behind. I don't want anything to do with them anymore. If it's not me that's gonna get hurt it might end up being them. The only good part of my family is my brother. Even though, it seems like he's starting to act like me when I was his age. Being sarcastic and not finding a lot of things funny anymore like silly faces or jokes. Let me tell you something I have Asperger's and ADHD, While my brother only has ADHD, and it was more obvious when he was younger, he was really hyper and off the walls to be honest. But nowadays it's just more of him not being able to focus on anything in school. I have that problem too, only I'm not as energetic, and me having Asperger's too doesn't help. It also doesn't change how my family treats us. They still treat is like we're stupid and aren't very good at everything. We know that I go to a certain school because of it. While my brother goes to a "regular" school. Anyway, it hard to live with my parents. They are both terrible people. They don't "abuse" us to the point of we should be removed from the home, but there's different types of abuse. Yet, it seems like my parents don't know that. They make me feel bad for them, but when it comes to me feel sad they just say "You're old enough. You can handle it." Umm...No. Just because I'm older doesn't mean I can handle everything. When my mom doesn't understand my depression she's gets sad and starts crying saying that I could be taken away from them, which I didn't really want then. Now I do! I want to be taken away! I hate this family! I wish my brother would be taken with me! I don't know he gets by. Now with all this coronavirus pandemic, I don't think it's going to happen. I wish I could call or tell someone about everything they've done and how they treat me and my brother, but it would take to long to type and read. I really hope when this is over I can leave my family for good and never talk to any of them again.

    Leave a comment:


  • ccsmod15
    commented on Guest's reply
    Hey there,
    Thanks for reaching out to NRS, it seems like you have been through a lot and so has your sibling. It makes sense to be upset when your parents just yell at you for anything rather than try to approach the situation with understanding and empathy.
    It seems like you are mainly upset and concerned about how your family would accept your identity as transgender, unfortunately that is something a lot of people like you have been through as well. There is a national talk line for LGBT youth that you can reach at 1-800-246-7743. There is also an online resource at glbthotline.org if you want to see what others in your situation have done to cope and get through it.
    Another option you might consider looking into would be a family counselor, or mediator. Your school counselor may have some options to present you if you explain the situation or we could search our database to see what we have in your area.
    We hope those resource may be able to help, it seems like you have every reason to feel the way you do, and we want you to know that we are here to support you however we can. If you have more questions or need to vent you can always call our hotline at 1-800-RUNAWAY or chat with us online.

  • Guest's Avatar
    Guest replied
    I hate my family. My brother is the only good part of it. I'm a trans man, at least I want to be, but I haven't told my parents. I know they'll get mad. My dad didn't like that I had a girlfriend, my mom understood because she's bisexual, which confuses me because my dad doesn't like those kinds of relationships. He grew up with a religious Grandma and his dad wasn't around. Most his family is dead now except for his Uncle. Which I guess you could say its an "excuse" of how he acts, but I don't care, he's a bad father and I don't want to call him that. I don't care what my mom says, she just wants me to pity him so I'll care, but I don't. Now I have this problem, I want to be a male yet, I know my parents will get mad at me, my dad didn't approve of my sexuality and I know they both won't approve of how I feel about my gender. My mom has said that I can't get a "boys" haircut throughout my life and I never knew how annoying and rude that was until I realized how I felt about myself. I actually yelled at her about it when I was going to get a haircut and she got really mad and kept reminding me that I'm her DAUGHTER and I have to get a GIRL'S haircut. It made me so mad, but I said nothing, I just silently cried to myself the rest of the way to the hair salon. Another thing that annoyed me was that she told the hairdresser that I wanted a BOY'S haircut and I can't tell how badly I wanted to punch her at that moment. Anyways, my hair is short now and I like it, but my mom wasn't so happy about it. I thought it'd be obvious, especially up to now, about how I feel about myself. I guess not. I really want to tell my brother about it, but right now might not be at all the right time. I don't know if I can ever tell them. One more thing, just a few hours ago I was trying to defend my brother because my mom is getting mad at him for not having school work done and I was trying to tell her that it's not fair how he's treating him compared to me and she gets angry and says "So, do you want me to tell at you too?" I was like "No." But, she's always been like this. After a while I try to tell her that maybe she should help him or do something if it's really a problem, but she's just ignores that and says "Well, it's not really your ********ing business." And that's when I left and said nothing else, I wanted to say "Yeah, it is because it's my brother and I care about him you fat jerk!" My mom is fat. Anyway, I went back to my school work and latter I gave it to her, yes I got more work done than my brother, but I don't think my brother needs a reminder of how much he's behind. Which is exactly what she does! She showed him how much work I got done while he was still working on something else. I wanted to tell her off so bad for that, but I knew I would have been yelled at or hit. I just can't take this family anymore. I hate them. I hate all of them. I wish I could help my brother. And help myself. I just wish I could have a better family.

    Leave a comment:


  • ccsmod15
    commented on Guest's reply
    Thanks for reaching out to us. We are sorry to hear things are difficult at home and you feel you aren't being given the privileges you deserve. That must be very frustrating. Please know we take your situation seriously and want to help as best we can.

    We are pretty concerned when you talk about "doing something bad" to yourself. That sounds pretty serious. If you ever feel suicidal, please reach out for the help you deserve. The National Suicide Prevention Lifeline is staffed by people trained to talk about suicide, so they are a great resource. You can reach them at www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org or call 1-800-273-8255. You can also reach out to us anytime to talk about suicide or anything else on your mind. Another great website you may want to look at is www.twloha.com. We want you to be safe. Things can get better and you have many options besides hurting yourself.

    We'd like to help out further but need a little more information from you to see how to assist and help you figure out what your options are. The best way to do that would be if you give us a call at 1-800-RUNAWAY or chat with us via the portal at www.1800runaway.org. Please be safe. We hope to hear from you soon!
    Last edited by ccsmod15; 04-25-2020, 12:41 PM.

  • Guest's Avatar
    Guest replied
    i just want to leave i feel like a prisoner with no privileges or anything please help b4 i do something bad to myselfff please

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  • ccsmod3
    commented on Guest's reply
    Hi there,
    Thank you for writing to us here at National Runaway Safeline (NRS). We understand it takes great courage to reach out, and we appreciate you sharing a little bit about what’s going on. It seems there is a lot that you are faced with right now and you’re feeling like leaving is one of your only options. It seems you want to know some information on runaway laws.
    While we are not experts on the law, 18 is generally the age that an individual may leave home without parent permission. If you are under 18 and leave home, your parent/guardian may file you as a runaway and you may be returned home. Also, those you stay with may run the risk of being charged with harboring a runaway. For more specifics on the law, the local non-emergency police or legal aid may better answer legal questions.
    We are here as support to help through this challenging time. We can best help by phone or chat as NRS is unable to respond more than twice by email to assist you. If you would like to talk more in detail please call or chat soon.
    Our contact information is 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929); www.1800runaway.org (click on the chat button).
    If you are at risk of any danger or feeling unsafe, we encourage you to reach out to 911 or seek emergency assistance immediately.
    Be safe,
    NRS

  • Guest's Avatar
    Guest replied
    my problem is i made a lot of bad choices in the past few months and i can see that it upsets my mom but everyday it seems like she thinks i dont have feelings too. like i dont need to hear from her that im a disappointment and a ***** all the time when most of the time shes the one that triggers me. ive had depression for 4 years and i didnt start making poor choices like smoking or having sex until like 3 months ago. i just have no more freedom. ive been to my aunts house and other families' houses and they know everything i did and they treat me way better than she ever did. i love my mom and i appreciate everything she does for me but sometimes the only thing i want from her is some support or respect because even though i am a bad kid im so sensitive and i handle things differently then most teens would. i just want to leave my house legally, but i have no where to go and no contact with anyone.

    Leave a comment:


  • ccsmod2
    commented on Guest's reply
    Hello There,
    Thank you for reaching out to The National Runaway Safeline, and sharing a little bit of your story with us. It sounds like you are going through a really difficult time, and we want you to know that you are not alone.
    You do not deserve to be treated like that especially by your mother, and we are sorry you are having to deal with that. It sounds like it could be emotional abuse which you do have the right to report it. You can call Child help at: 1800-422-4453 and they would be able to help you with making a report. You can also call or chat with us and we would be happy to assist you in making an abuse report. Your mother shaming you about your looks has nothing to with you but it is her own insecurities.
    We are sorry to hear about your sister’s prior suicide attempt, and we are happy that she is safe. Having suicidal thoughts can be scary, but there is always someone willing to listen and provide support. If you or your sister are feeling suicidal please call The National Suicide Prevention Hotline at: 1800-273-8255.
    We know you mentioned that you cannot stay in the house any longer, one option to consider is seeing if you could stay with a family member or a friend. We know a lot of schools are closed right now but school counselors are still meeting with students virtually.
    We hope that this information will be helpful to you in your situation. If you have any more questions or would like to explore more options please give us a call. We are here 24/7 to listen and to provide support. Best of luck!
    NRS

  • Guest's Avatar
    Guest replied
    Hi my name is Marie and I live with my mom and older sister who is 20.The reason why I want to run away is because of my mom.She is mentally abusing me and my sister and I can’t take it no more.Everyday she body shames me and talks about how I’m ugly. Every time I step up to her she laughs at me and makes it seem like I’m disrespectful when in reality I’m just expressing how I feel.A few year ago my older sister attempted suicide and she had to be placed in a hospital.My mom yelled at her and said “you make spend all this money on the hospital bill” she also continued to make mean comments towards her about how she dumb and disabled. My mother always had been bitter for no reason every time I get in trouble she tells me “I don’t care if you die” and “I wish you was never born” even when I cry she shows no emotion.Recently my mom asked for my phone and I didn’t wanna give it to her because I had things I did want her to like pictures of me and my friends, social media and text messages cause my mom doesn’t allow me to have those. So when I said no to her she came towards me like she was gonna beat so I ran. When I came back towards the house she snatched my phone away and started saying mean things to me .And I don’t think I can do this anymore all me life she has been evil and cold hearted and when ever I tell somebody about it she always play the victim .I want to run away but I have nowhere to go but neither can I stay in this house any longer.

    Leave a comment:


  • ccsmod2
    commented on Guest's reply
    Hello There,
    Thank you so much for reaching out to The National Runaway Safeline, we are here to help and here to listen. Wow it sounds like you have had to deal with a lot throughout your life. Growing up having to lie to the police and be around drugs can be traumatizing and can have an effect on you as you have described.
    Your mother should not take her anger out on you and you do not deserve that. If you feel like you are being neglected or abused, you can file a report. There are a few ways to go about filing a report, one option would be to call Child Help at: 1800-422-4453. Another option is you can call us and we would be able to help with an abuse report.
    You mentioned wanting to leave home, that is a very big decision. Unfortunately, because you know your situation the best only you will be able to determine if it is the right decision for you. When deciding on what to do think about which option would be the safest option for your mental health and for your well-being.
    We hope that this information will be helpful to you in your situation. If you have any other questions or would like to explore more options please give us a call. We are here 24/7 to listen and to provide support. Best of luck!
    NRS

  • Guest's Avatar
    Guest replied
    I’m 15. I have grown up difficultly. My childhood consisted of keeping secrets from cops, because my mom did drugs and raising my sisters. This was years ago and I know the past shouldn’t matter as much but I feel as if it has effected my life a lot. My dad died when I was 7, things have been weird after that..my mom is very demanding and wants everything done, Perfectly. She judges everyone so I cannot have friends to her. She has hit me once and left a mark on my face.I have snuck out my house a couple times to see my friends and hangout With them because my mom doesn’t let me see any of them. If I am home one or two minutes late from a school game or friends house, and makes me do stuff around the house. Lately she has constantly been yelling at me to let her anger out. She does not like the fact that I have a boyfriend either so she is making me break up with him. I cannot do that. Yesterday we got into a fight and she told me to leave. Then she said you will stay here until you’re 18. After that she again said to leave. So I really don’t want to be here anymore because I feel like this has been effective to myself that I am becoming sadder and sadder every day. I have a little sister that lives with me and I asked her if she wanted to leave. She said no and that she is happy here. I don’t know if I am doing the right thing by leaving. nothing ever changes. I told my aunt and she told me she would get me. Am I doing the right thing?

    Leave a comment:


  • ccsmod3
    commented on Guest's reply
    Thank you for reaching out to us. It sounds like you are in a tough situation. You shouldn't have to deal people calling you names. You don't deserve to be treated this way. It sounds like you want to know what the consequences are if you leave home without permission. 18 years old is generally the age that an individual may leave home without permission from their parent or legal guardian. We are not legal experts here but we can speak in general terms. If you are under 18 and leave home without permission, your parent/guardian may file a runaway report with the police. What actions the police take once you are filed as a runaway can vary a lot from state to state and even city to city so we cannot predict exactly what would happen in your case. Generally speaking, if you encounter a police officer while reported as a runaway, you will likely be returned home. However, in that case there may be services (family counseling, etc.) available to you as a youth in crisis/runaway but again, police procedures related to offering those services can be different based on your location or the details of your situation. Another thing to consider is that while running away is not a crime, a legal adult who allows you to stay with them may be putting themselves at risk for being charged with harboring a runaway. One way to find out the laws in your area is to call your local police and ask what their policies are regarding runaway youth.

  • Guest's Avatar
    Guest replied
    I’m 15 years old and all my parents do is talk bad on me. No matter what I do good it’s a problem. There is always something wrong. It’s to a point where I am afraid to say hello or even converse with them. I feel as if I’m trapped and have no where to go. I REALLY want to leave. I feel like this constantly it’s not only a one time thing. For example I recently quit a sport that I sucked up and played because I didn’t want to get made fun of for not playing. Then me and my father are talking and out of no where he calls me a “gay pussy faggot” because I don’t play a sport I lashed back and told him to go ******** himself. I know that is not the correct thing to do but when it consistently happens everyday I can’t do it anymore. Now that I’m not playing a sport I get scolded for not going to the gym. I told them It’s not my thing non of this sport stuff is my thing but then I get called a “lazy piece of ******** asshole” that’s a “faggot no life” by my own brother, I said nothing and walked away Then my mom proceeds to text me saying how bad of a child I am and that I should leave the house and they are sending me to a boarding school for being “disrespectful” so I’m thinking of leaving. Sometimes when I think of leaving these thoughts go through my brain. Is this the smarter thing to do? If I have a place to go should I go? When should I go? Will the cops get involved? Is this the better thing to do?

    Leave a comment:


  • ccsmod13
    commented on Guest's reply
    Hey there,

    Thanks for taking the time to write us here at NRS. It can certainly be stressful at home when the adults in the household are not supportive. You deserve to be treated in a way that makes you feel safe and cared for.

    Generally speaking, your parents are your legal guardians until you turn 18, so they can decide where you live. If you do choose to leave without permission, your parents can report you as a runaway to the police. Running away is not illegal, but it is a status offense. This means that if your parents know where you are staying then they can have the police return you home.

    The easiest way to leave home as a minor is with your parents’ permission. In this case, they would be allowing you to live somewhere else where you are safe and being cared for. A helpful step is to start reaching out to friends and family members you might be able to stay with. Sometimes having an adult advocate on your side can make communicating your needs more effective to your parents. Perhaps an adult family member, a friend's parent or a counselor at school can talk to your parents with you about your experience at home and the possibility of you leaving.

    Your parents are supposed to make you feel comfortable at home and from what you shared they are not doing that. If you feel like there is any abuse taking place you do have the option to report the issues at home. A child abuse report can get a social worker involved to help. This can be a scary decision to make and you do not need to make it alone. Child Help is an organization that advocates for young people in abusive and unsafe situations. You can contact them at 1-800-422-4453 or www.childhelp.org to talk more about what making a report might be like for you and help to get one started.

    We truly want to be a support for you as you decide on your next steps. We are available 24/7 to listen and help as much as possible. Please do not hesitate to reach out again by phone or chat if you would like to talk more in-depth about your situation and explore your options. You can contact us by phone at 1-800-786-2929 or use our live chat services at www.1800runaway.org.

    Stay safe,
    NRS
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