*Sigh* Opressive parents.

[Guest]

Hi.. I'm 15. I have entered into a very serious relationship with a beautiful girl but we are not allowed to love eachother because of our parents... We plan on getting married as soon as it is legal... We have been together for quite a while and been through a lot together, her parents emotionally abuse her and mine is barely ever even there... We want to run away and start a life together but.. I don't think it could work... I hope someone has some sort of advice for me...

[ccsmod2]

Re: *Sigh* Opressive parents.

Thank you for reaching out to the National Runaway Switchboard during your time of need. It sounds like things are very confusing and difficult for you right now; hopefully, we will be able to present you some options.

Let me start out by saying that we are not counselors or therapists here so we can not give you advice. What we can do is try to lead you to people who will be able to give you advice or any answers that you may be looking for.

You said that you have begun a relationship with a girl but that you are not allowed to love each other because of emotional abuse from her parents. What kinds of things do they do to her? How often does this happen? We are sorry to hear that she is experiencing these things. Everyone deserves to live in a safe environment.

Have you or your girlfriend ever told anyone else about what’s going on, maybe to another trusted adult (i.e. relative, teacher/school staff, or a friend’s parent)? Would either of you feel comfortable discussing it with anyone else?

She can call and make a report with Child Protective Services; they may send an investigator out to her house to see what’s going on. If they do, they will make their decision on what they think needs to be done. If she is interested in doing this, she can call us here at 1-800-RUNAWAY; we can provide her with the number to call and help her to make a report if she isn’t comfortable doing it herself. She can also contact Justice for Children (1-800-733-0059 or http://www.jfcadvocacy.org). They are an organization that provides advocacy and solutions for children who are victims of abuse.

You also stated that your parents are barely ever there. Why is that? Do they provide you with the things that you need (food, clothing, etc…)? How often do you see them?

From what you wrote, it sounds like you and your girlfriend really care about each other. How long have you been together? You said that you wanted to runaway and start a life together but you don’t think it would work. We can’t tell you what you should or should not do but there are some questions we normally ask:

1) Where would you go? How would you get there?
2) How would you survive while gone (shelter, food)?
3) Do you think that either of your parents would call the police and file a runaway report?

We here at the National Runaway Switchboard are available 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. If you have any other questions, please call us at 1-800-RUNAWAY. We are a confidential and anonymous hotline. Good luck to you and we look forward to hearing from you!

~NRS

[Guest]

Re: *Sigh* Opressive parents.

I wasn't exactly precise in my previous post so I will clear things up a bit. She is yelled at a lot by her mom, and ignored by her dad. It isn't really big stuff, but all the adults in our life try to control what we think and do to the minutest detail. I have only one parent who recently got laid off, but used to barely be home. She provides food and shelter. This all is more of an issue about me and my girlfriend being able to love eachother. We have never tryed to tell this to an adult because all the adults we know would laugh at us of tell us to tough it out. I've thought extensively about running away and think we could make it to a desert and make a bit of an existence as squatters for a few years... Sounds crazy but people do it all the time... We live in an environment where love is suppressed by all the adults around us and just don't know what to do anymore...

[ccsmod5]

Re: *Sigh* Opressive parents.

Hey,

Thanks for giving a few more details. Things are a little clearer, now and it sounds like the people aren't really supportive or acknowledging of your relationship. Why do you think these adults in your life feel this way? What do they say to show their disapproval of your relationship?

Aside from those adults, are there friends, family members or adults that understand what you are feeling/going through? How's that? It's always good to have someone like that because you know you have someone that you can trust and share your story with. Is that important to you?

Would you be willing to call in here and we can talk about what you can do and if need be, where you can go for safety? We're a crisis hotline that is non-judgemental and non-directive so when you call in here, it's about in whatever direction you want to take the call.

And when/if you call in, you don't need to give us any identifying information because we're anonymous and confidential.

If you're willing to call, please reach us at 1800.RUNAWAY 24hrs a day.

Best of luck,

NRS

[Guest]

Re: *Sigh* Opressive parents.

The main reason they dissaprove is they have their own religious views and we have ours... We see things differently and don't feel our relationship is "evil" like they do... They absolutely will not accept the fact that we love each other and constantly tell us that it isn't acceptable. Their really isn't anyone to talk to at all who wouldn't tell us that it is wrong and we can't be together... It would help to have someone who is older on our side.. Or at least not telling us we are stupid teens who don't know anything... I don't want to mess everything up by running away.. But I don't want this constant opression to continue... We feel like our parents have become our enemies... I will probably call sometime... When I can get on the phone away from my mom.

[ccsmod1]

Re: *Sigh* Opressive parents.

Thanks for sharing a little more with us. It definitely sounds like there’s a major conflict between your views and your parents. It has to be difficult to live (and love) with your parents constantly telling you it’s not okay.

We will absolutely be here when you’re able and ready to call. If there's anything specific we can help you with in the meantime, please let us know.

[Guest]

Re: *Sigh* Opressive parents.

This is the sweetest thing ever, It's so cute. =) Good luck for whatever you choose! I hope Everything works out for you! =D

[ccsmod1]

Re: *Sigh* Opressive parents.

Thanks for contributing your encouraging words to our bulletin board.

[Guest]

Re: *Sigh* Opressive parents.

i would say if you realy love her your parents cant stop that but that doesnt mean runaway.
i have keeped relationships way from my parents befor and you can do it while you warm your and her parents up to the thought of going out.

[ccsmod4]

Re: *Sigh* Opressive parents.

Thank you for your support. It is greatly appreciated.

nrs