I'm a 14yo sexual assault survivor, and I need help

[Guest]

So, when I was around 6 my brother was 11ish, and he had some weird interests, he developed into a natural pervert, and hurt a lot of people, but it was me who got the blunt of it, I was conditioned from a real young age, and it sucked, but it's just life, anyway, we grew up, he moved out, and I got stabbed in the back by my best friend, long story short, the news got out and my parents freaked, called the police and all, and now there's an ongoing investigation, which would be fine, just another nightmare in the long line of nightmares that I like to call my life, except that if my parents press charges, I'll have to contribute to putting my own brother away, and I can't do that. Not only am I seemingly the only person who doesn't hate the guy, he actually taught me how to survive in the world, and even though he did some pretty harmful things, we're partners, and I know that if I have to go to court over this, I'll end up taking his side, and my parents won't be too happy about that. I've been thinking about running away instead, it seems like the coward's way out, but it seems to be the only way to stop my parents from putting my brother in jail, without having to go to court, I think I could pull it off, but it would take a lot of planning and people playing their parts, and I honestly don't know where to go with this, any advice?

[ccsmod3]

Thank you for reaching out to us. It sounds like you are going through a difficult time. It’s really terrible that you had to experience something so traumatic at a young age and at the hands of a family member. That must be really tough. It may help to talk with individuals who are trained to help victims of rape or incest. If you ever want to talk to someone about your experience call RAINN at 1800-656-4673. This seems like a really difficult position that you are in. You seem to care about your brother but at the same time he did some terrible things to you that you didn’t deserve. It’s understandable that you would want to protect him because you care but you have to consider the fact that none of this is your fault. Your brother was old enough to make better decisions and chose to act in that way and has to face the consequences.
I know running away seems like it is the best option but it is a temporary fix to a permanent issue. You will have to deal the effects of what was done to you your whole life. Maybe try going to therapy or talking to a guidance counselor about your situation, first. Also consider family members or friends that you could stay with for a few days while you process this whole situation. Some time away from your family could be healing and help you access how you are feeling about everything. If you want some additional support to talk about the stress of all of this please contact NAMI at 1800-950-NAMI.
If you do decide to run away without permission because you are a minor your parents could file a runaway report. If they do so the police would return you home as soon as they locate you. Also anyone that you would stay with could possibly face charges for harboring a runaway. It’s really important if you are thinking about running away to have a plan. You have to think about how you would purchase food, clothing and were you would live. If you wanted to we could facilitate a conference call with you and your parents to start a conversation about everything you are feeling. Sometimes it helps to just talk about what is going on and working through some options together. If you have any more questions or just want to talk feel free to call us at 1800-RUNAWAY. Remember we are 24/7, confidential and here to help! Hope this helps! Best of luck with everything.