Almost 15 and Really want to run away..

[Guest]

I'm 14, soon 15 and I've wanted to run away for a long time. I don't like my dad at all , he's always mean and yelling at my and my siblings. My mom's not always home because she works alot. My dad doesn't have a job right now so he's Always yelling about money! And how we don't have enought of it. The only way i'd stay is if my parents get a divorce So i could Only be with my mom. My sister is going to live with her boyfriend soon anyway and my brother doesn't care about anything. I need to get out of here! And I'm ok with the hole stealing money thing if i need to! I live in Canada . If i couldnt get across the border I'd just go to the other side of the country. Would this work?

[ccsmod5]

Re: Almost 15 and Really want to run away..

Hey,

Thanks for contacting our bulletin boards and sharing your story with us. Sounds like there are some really intense discussions going on at home. Sorry to hear about those but it's good to know that you are trying to figure out how to be in a more comfortable place right now.

When you mentioned that your dad always screams and yells, is that directly at you or in general about money, etc? Has your mom ever seen him do this? What would she say if you confronted her about your concerns? Sounds like you're very close to you mother and she might understand.

Sounds like you have been thinking about running. Where do you think you'll go? Is there a place that your mom will let you go (family member, friend) and take a break from home for a while?

Sounds like it would be very difficult for you to get across the border and still be safe and have a place to stay. When people decide to run away, it's usually done kind of spontaneously and even if you have been thinking about it for a while, it's stll very difficult to survive.

Do you think you'd be willing and able to call our hotline to talk about more options? We could work together and explore other ways you can go about solving the issue. You mentioned divorce/separation, what would your mother say to that request?

We're available 24hrs a day and you can reach us anonymously and confidentially.

Be well,
-NRS

[Guest]

Re: Almost 15 and Really want to run away..

hi,
Well my dad screams and yells both at me and about money in general. My mom has seen him yell at me and my siblings a couple times, he's ALWAYS complaining how no one can do anything right, he's always right and he's not, he doesn't like people! Yells about how we don't help out enough around the house, how he has to do Everything himself! But all he does is sit around all day! I tried talking to my mom a little bit about this but she says it's just because we have no money and he will be better when he gets a job.
I don't know where i'll go, i want to go with my boyfriend to his mom's house in florida. I know we won't be together forever but until I can go off on my own. My mom probly wouldn't let me leave the family. I told them i want to go to boarding school but because we have no money that's not really an option anymore.
I'm not doing this spontaneously I want a plan and I don't want to come back to this family. I want to find out about some safe houses somewhere I can go.
I'm willing to call your hotline but I don't want the phone number to show up on the bill or something. My mom wouldn't get a divorce or separation, she's always at work when he's mean to me and my siblings.

[ccsmod8]

Re: Almost 15 and Really want to run away..

Hello,

So nice of you to reach out us again at the National Runaway Switchboard and it sounds like your family is trying to their best to hold everything to together despite the difficult times. We imagine it is not easy to be going though this intense situation at home and still you are unable to call for fear of running up expenses. You seem like a very well thought out individual who is able to put family first. We hear you on the fact that life at home with your father complicating things more has caused you to take a step back and analyze your through place in the house. Is it safe to say that you have completely made up your mind about leaving? Is there nothing or no one that will make you think of alternatives to running away? We are not in a position to tell you what to do but we can do our best to provide you with options.

It sounds like you are really looking into coming to Florida. Are you prepared for the journey and the necessary documentation for entering the US? Have you talked it over to great length with the people you are thinking of joining here? What expectations for what life is going to be like if you end up in the US? What do you think is going to happen if you were to return home? Do you plan on staying in touch with your family? We empathize with how you are made to feel at home. You do not deserve any of that treatment. Do you feel safe at home? What are your options for responding in a time if you do not feel safe? Are you aware that you can call the police? Since we are so far from where you are, we imagine it is not easy to call and the amount the bill will be might raise questions with your family. We do not excuse your father's action. However, do you see any reasoning to your mother's suggestion for why your father could be stressed out? On the other hand, do you see any benefit with speaking to your family about how you are feeling or what plans you are considering? What actions might they take to stop you from leaving?

We are glad that you are seeking a safe place to stay. Do you have any other option outside what you are seeking? Do you a friend or family that can come to your aid? Have you tried to reach out to an adult to include them? Can you trust an adult in school to share your story? We are mostly equipped to handle crisis calls inside the US but we welcome your call anytime despite the hardship for calling. We mainly focus on resources here in the US but we can take calls from anywhere. We are sorry if we cannot fully locate a safe house for you but one place we can offer you to call is Kids Help Phone in Canada. They stress the need to get counseling, to express your feelings and get informed. They seem to do similar work like us and have mandated reporting. Mandated reporting is helpful to young people when they are not safe at home and can get advocates to work on your behalf with proper authorities. They can be reached 24hours a day at 1800-668-6886.

We hope they can point you in the right direction for resources. Please continue to reach out if you have any other questions. We are always here for you. Good luck and know that you are not alone. Stay safe and be strong.

-NRS

[Guest]

Re: Almost 15 and Really want to run away..

Hi,
Yes I have completely made up my mind about leaving. I need to go, I want to have a nice simple life,it sounds like my dad is always saying you have to have money to be happy. He won't let us move to a middle class house because he says the people aren't nice. But he doesn't even know them He's judging all people on how much money they have! The only way I'm not running away is if I can live with Just my mom. If i stay here, I'll end up being in the Military but that's what my parents want.
I have a passport and a school ID, I don't know what other documentation I'll need to get into the US but a 14 or 15 year old girl might not be able to get across alone. But I don't want them to find me so I want to eventually change my name. I just want a nice, simple life in the US, my parents hate Americans so they never want to go again. We went to Florida as a family, lots of arguing... I don't want to stay in touch with my family, maybe let them know I'm ok when I am. I don't feel that safe here when my mom is at work. And I don't want my mom to die or anything because she works with the OPP, I can't call the police because my mom is well known everywhere. I can't talk to my family about this because they don't know that anything is wrong. So they won't think I'm serious about leaving.
I have family in B-C who would hopefully help me, my friends don't think anything is wrong the only person who knows is my boyfriend. So i could go to his house for a little bit. No, I don't have any trustworthy adults at my school, none of the teachers like me that much. They all like my older sister because she's smarter and went to Germany for a couple months and now just Sparkles in everyones eyes, they get disappointed when they're teaching me because I don't have as good grades as her, though I'm a good B student and just not as good as my sister.
Do the phone numbers we call on the house phone show up on the bill??

[ccsmod2]

Re: Almost 15 and Really want to run away..

Thank you for continuing to reach out to us at the National Runaway Switchboard and to further discuss what is going on. It seems as if you have a lot going on right now.

We do not have much information on the documentation you would need to cross the borders. You may be able to anonymously contact either the local U.S. Embassy or the border patrol to get definite answers to your questions.
You stated that your mom has seen or heard your dad being mean to you and your siblings. What has she said after these occasions? It seems like you have a good relationship with your mom. Do you feel comfortable talking to her about how you are feeling? Do you think she can help you come up with a plan to feel safe while at home?

You also said that you had family in B-C who may be able to help you out. Have you discussed your plan with any of them? What do you think they will say if you do?

As for our phone number showing up on your, we can not say for sure. You may be able to contact the phone company to ask them if a 1-800 number will appear.

Remember that we are available 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. We are anonymous and confidential. Please call us anytime at 1-800-RUNAWAY with any other questions or concerns you may have.

~NRS

[Guest]

Re: Almost 15 and Really want to run away..

Hi,
I got the information I need to know to cross the boarder.
After my mom sees my dad yelling she just says its just because he going through a tuff time with no job and stuff. No i don't feel comfortable talking to anyone about this now =( No my mom can't help me feel safe...
i don't know my cousins in B-C very well but she said i was welcome anytime because i like it so much there.
I'm going to call soon from a pay phone somewhere.

[ccsmod8]

Re: Almost 15 and Really want to run away..

Hello,

So great to have you write to us again. We appreciate your eagerness to get to the bottom of the issue you face and your willingness to look at all the options before making a final decision. It sounds like your mom has professional friends connected to outside sources that might be beneficial to you. Have you thought about using those connections to figure out alternatives to remain safe at home? We are pleased to hear that you have options with relatives for British Columbia. Are you able to reform bonds with your relatives there? What do you think your mother will say to you if you requested a visit to your relatives there?

We cannot say for sure that calling from a payphone from Canada is guaranteed to reach us in the US. We hope that you will not be discouraged from trying it.

What are your options for transportation so far? Let us imagine for a second you wanted to come away from Canada. What are your plans for getting out of there to a place like British Columbia? Are you familiar with a program called Operation Go Home? This is a Canadian based agency that assists with transportation of runaways through Canada. The process can be reverse if you were in the US and wanted to go back to Canada also. However, we imagine it is easier to return to the US if you can prove you were from here. If you made it to the US, the option is always here if you wanted to return. You still have to initiate the call to us to get our Home Free process going. However, this will require us to involve your parents in the process. If you were to qualify, we are only able to assist with transportation from Vancouver, British Columbia or Montreal, Quebec.

We hope you are able to understand that giving you this information does not mean we are advocating for you to run away but to give you insights into how our services for transportation works. Whether you decide to find your way here or want to return home, we have to involve your parents and we can only get you from certain parts of the US with our HF program to Alaska or Whitehorse. Usually, Operation Go Home takes the next step. However, you have to meet certain criteria. Operation Go Home number is 1(800)668-4663 and access this agency in Canada only. We hope that it is possible for Operation Go Home to link you to other community agencies that might be able to help you. Do you think you are going to have personal funds, or will be in need of a shelter and police assistance? Their contact number in Ottawa is (613) 230-4663. We are here for you and want you to know that you are not alone. We respect your decisions. We wish more can be done for you but since we do not have resources for Canada, we hope that you can still figure a way out with the resources we gave you. Good luck.

-NRS

[Guest]

Re: Almost 15 and Really want to run away..

Hi,
No I don't want to stay here. I can't stay here! My mom won't let me go anywhere because we have no money to go. =(
I've figured out how to get to the union station in Toronto.
I'll probly need shelter, I don't want to go see the police! But I'll have some money.
I want to start a new life, how do you think that would be possible?? I want to have a new Home. I know i won't have a new family because that's not possible But after I run away I'm trying to decide what to do.

[ccsmod6]

Re: Almost 15 and Really want to run away..

Hi,

Thanks for continuing to share with us. We definitely hear what you are saying about not being able to stay at home any longer. We understand that it is very difficult for you to be at home and the thought of staying with your family is almost unbearable. You deserve to be happy and to live in a place that you feel loved and supported and it sounds like you aren’t getting that at home right now. We hear that you don’t feel like your mom is able or willing to help you in this situation and so you are hesitant to really talk to her about what is going on, but have you thought about what sort of communication you might want to have with your family if you do leave?

We aren’t here to encourage you to run away, but if you do choose to leave home you may be interested in using our message service to get in contact with your mom. You could leave a message with us at 1-800-RUNAWAY and we would deliver the message to your family, while keeping everything you told us confidential. If you wanted, we could also do a conference call and mediate a telephone conversation between you and your mom.

From what you wrote, it sounds like you are pretty set on leaving but you are still unsure what you will do once you are on the run. You asked us how it might be possible for you to get a new life. What do you mean when you say “new life”? We don’t help youth run away so we don’t know of any resources that you might use to change your name or what not. We can help you find a shelter though.

We are concerned about your safety and would like to help you the best we can. If you are able, give us a call at 1-800-RUNAWAY so we can more fully talk about what is going on.

Good luck,
NRS

[Guest]

Re: Almost 15 and Really want to run away..

Hi,
Yes i would like to leave right now but I really don't like snow. It's hard for my to stay in this house, it feels like they don't even care about me.. If i leave I don't think i want to communicate with my family when I leave. I won't know for certain until I leave though.

By new life I mean find out a way to be at a safe house or something and go to school, get a part-time job. I don't know if that's possible but I still need to grow up. I already pretty much take care of myself already. I make all my own meals my parents don't do anything. I have to do everything myself.

[ccsmod3]

Re: Almost 15 and Really want to run away..

We are glad you have been able to make use of our bulletin board to share your situation. At this point, it sounds like even though you would like to leave, you are concerned about snow. We are not in a position to tell you whether to leave or not, but it sounds like you have thought a lot about what might happen. We would be happy to continue discussing possible options should you decide to call. As we have mentioned in previous posts you are welcome to call us anytime at 1-800-RUNAWAY. Hang in there!

-NRS