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My family is verbally abusive and it doesn't feel healthy to live with them anymore

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  • My family is verbally abusive and it doesn't feel healthy to live with them anymore

    My family is verbally abusive. There I said it. They verbally abuse each other and myself- it's likely that I've verbally abused someone else at one point too because the behavior is contagious. It doesn't feel healthy. In addition, sometimes they'll act like it's all okay the next day, or that it's just because they're all hungry. I know I'm young and I don't know everything, and families will fight, people will go through phases, etc., but this doesn't feel right. It makes me feel sick. My little sister literally said to me "I wish this was a movie so we could fast forward through the fights". She's eight years old.
    Even if I could leave, I don't know how that would work out. I'm a person who's dead set on getting an education. Going to a good college/university is a must for me. How would I do that if I didn't have a permanent residence in any city with any family? Also, as bad as my family gets, I still have a lot of friends here, and simultaneously I have a problem making new friends, so if I moved somewhere else I couldn't be sure that I wouldn't be lonely all the time. I'm an introvert but I still want friends.
    I'm really not sure what to do. If I was older I might have a better idea, or maybe some long-standing friendships or relationships with people I could go to until this fiasco is done with for now, but I'm not older and I don't have those relationships. It's getting really tough to live a reasonably happy life and sustain any sort of decent personality in this situation.

  • #2
    Re: My family is verbally abusive and it doesn't feel healthy to live with them anymo

    Hi there,

    Thank you so much for reaching out to us here at the National Runaway Safeline. It sounds like you are trying to explore your options and we’re really glad that you reached out. It sounds like you’re in a tough spot.
    You do not deserve to be abused in any way by anybody, and it sounds like this is something that you have been dealing with at home for a long time. It’s understandable that you would want to get out of this situation. You deserve a safe place to be.

    It’s good to know you’re thinking through your options ahead of time. It sounds like you have a good head on your shoulders- you are so set on continuing with education and really thinking through how you would survive and where you would go. We’re not here to tell anybody what they should or should not do, we’re just here to help keep you safe in what you decide. Generally, if a youth (minor, under 1 leaves without permission from legal guardians, they would have the right to make a runaway report. If a report is made, and the police find you they typically just bring you back home. However, anyone that you stay with could potentially be charged for harboring.

    If you are set on leaving home, we can try to find some resources for you that are local to you. Just so you are aware, shelters are additionally at risk of getting in legal trouble for “harboring” you, so the time you’re allowed to stay is typically only a day or two before they would need permission from legal guardians.

    We’re here to help you the best that we can and to further explore any options that you would like. Please, don’t hesitate to call or chat to talk further. There’s always someone here to listen and to help.

    Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

    National Runaway Safeline
    [email protected] (Crisis Email)
    1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)
    Tell us what you think about your experience!


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