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16, wanting to move out as soon as I turn 18?

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  • 16, wanting to move out as soon as I turn 18?

    Hello,

    I've been going through emotional abuse from my parents since I was little. I've always dreamed of going to another state and attending college there as soon as I turn 18. I'm currently in a long distance relationship, and my boyfriend lives in Colorado. As unrealistic, and slightly ridiculous as it may sound - I do believe I love him, and I would like to have a future with him. I have not had the privilege of meeting him in person just yet, but we are planning to this Christmas or next summer when we're both not busy. My parents smoke weed, and my dad (in my opinion) has a drinking problem. He isn't the pleasant drunk, more so the angry type. I'd like to leave the house as soon as I possibly can. I am usually quite miserable in this house, and I want to start a new chapter with a fresh start and new people and places. I am a firm believer in people should do what makes them happy, but my parents kind of keep me from doing what would make me happiest. Sometimes they put me down, and other times I just feel like some type of punching bag for all of the problems they have.

    My boyfriend and his family seem very accepting of me, and his mother even called me family. She says in the future, if I do decide to move to Colorado, I would have a place to stay. To me that is very reassuring. My mom has offered to pay for my entire college career, if I do in-state college that is. Out-of-state prices are far more expensive, however, if I were to live in Colorado for 1 year, I would be offered the same prices as in-state residents. I would like to move out of my state to pursue my dreams in a new place, and making myself a happier person. I am worried my mom would not pay for my college, but I have mixed feelings - should I do what makes me happiest or worry about college and how to pay for it?

    I didn't think "emotional abuse" was a thing until I started to dig deep and find lots of helpful information about it. I confronted my parents and told them that they emotionally abuse me, and all my dad said is that it was bull******** (and my mom agreed) and they just called me weak. All of my friends know about how they treat me and worry for me because of how emotional I really am because of them. I have been made weaker and stronger all at the same time. I was diagnosed with severe depression and PTSD at the very young age of 12, and had to take adult anti-depressants. It's been 4 years, and I am definitely better - but I know that deep down, I am not happy where I am as much as I would like to be. My parents make me feel like I am a horrible child sometimes, even though I don't smoke weed or drink like they do - and my mom has admitted I am a good child "except for my behavior". So really, I'm just conflicted because I feel like I'm some sort of selfish undeserving brat that has it all, but at the same time I feel like an emotionally abused 16 year old that needs to leave to maintain happiness sufficiently.

    My plan would be this:
    . Finish high school while having a part time job.
    . Applying for Boulder College
    . Hopefully getting accepted and moving out and moving to Colorado
    . Moving in with my boyfriend
    . Living there for a year, while having a full time job to save up money for a house
    . When I can obtain in-state prices, attend Boulder hopefully
    . Living with my boyfriend while having a job and going to Boulder, then later on moving out with my boyfriend to our own place

    I don't know if that sounds like a great plan or not, and I would like an adults advice and perspective. I'd like to think of myself as mature and hopefully smart for the plan I have made.

    Thank you for taking the time to read and reply <3

  • #2
    Re: 16, wanting to move out as soon as I turn 18?

    Hey there,

    Often, youth may reach out to NRS in several different ways to discuss their situation. If a response from NRS is not visible to a bulletin posting it may be that we have already provided services to that individual through another platform we provide such as email, our crisis hotline, or our live chat service (in operation every day from 4:30p to 11:30p CST). NRS encourages anyone in need of assistance to contact us through our 24 hour crisis hotline at 1-800-RUNAWAY to receive immediate support.

    You mentioned feeling emotionally abused, and we're sorry that you don't feel supported by your parents. You don't deserve to be mistreated in any way. You also mention some important decisions you are faced with in the coming years. It seems you're torn with what to do. If you would like to talk more about ways NRS can offer support and help you feel and stay safe, please reach out by phone or chat for immediate support.

    Thank you,

    NRS
    Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

    National Runaway Safeline
    [email protected] (Crisis Email)
    1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)

    Tell us what you think about your experience!
    https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/YourOpinionMattersToUs

    Comment


    • #3
      Re: 16, wanting to move out as soon as I turn 18?

      Hey, it's the same person again.

      I would like to know if my plan sounded like a good one? I just need some sort of professional opinion to feel a bit more stable with the decision.

      Comment


      • #4
        Re: 16, wanting to move out as soon as I turn 18?

        Originally posted by Unregistered View Post
        Hey, it's the same person again.

        I would like to know if my plan sounded like a good one? I just need some sort of professional opinion to feel a bit more stable with the decision.
        Hi there again,

        We understand that your current situation is confusing and that you're seeking advice on what to do. NRS is here to help explore some options and safe plans with you. It seems you have chatted with one of our trained staff. If there is anything else that we can help with (resources or further support), please consider reaching out by phone or chat again soon.

        No decision is an easy one, but you know what is best. Weighing all options through conversation, brainstorming, and journaling may help. We wish you luck with your situation.

        Take care,

        NRS
        Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

        National Runaway Safeline
        [email protected] (Crisis Email)
        1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)

        Tell us what you think about your experience!
        https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/YourOpinionMattersToUs

        Comment

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