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familly issues/ wanting to move out

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  • familly issues/ wanting to move out

    I am sick of this. The problems within my household have driven me very very close to suicide on numerous occasions.
    For starters my parents have always put they're relationship and they're needs above mine which fine whatever I'll deal with it, but its gotten terrible they don't care about anything at all. I havent recieved new clothes in over 4 years, no shopping trips, nothing. A few of my friends always give me their old clothes so I have something it's extremely embarrassing not to mention I have no style of my own which again i'm fine with clothes are clothes it doesnt really effect anything. Within the past 2 years I have had to beg and beg for them to buy even somewhat healthy foods. I feel like ******** everyday I know i'm not getting the right nutrients whatsoever but i try and try. all they ever buy is junk food . & the worst part is that I get screamed at for even eating any of theyre food cause it was specifically for them, & i don't like junk food at all SO i have to force stuff down my throat everynight so I dont starve. I'm 14 I should be getting proper food to help me grow and for my bones, but again it's not something so extreme it's putting my life in danger it's just bad parenting. And this past year it's extremely difficult to get the to buy things i need i lost count of the number of times i've had to go to the neighbors to borrow laundry detergent, or shampoo, or bodywash, but let me tell you my parents have whatever they want. & it's very gross to me tht they dont even care we dont have body wash I'm a VERY clean person so i dont get that, they use the tons and tons of bar soap we have but unfortunately I have really sensitive skin and break out when i use bar soap. the water and electricity goes off every toher day bec no one ays it because my dad is too "busy" to open mail. Oh yeah I forgot to mention what my dad does. His day consists of sitting on his chair at his desk in his room and playing paladins every single day. hour on hours on end. If I didn't try to make an effort to talk to him I dont think i'd see him. & eveytime i try to ask for help or he;; even just talk to one of my parents I get screamed at like I am such a bothersome by just talking. It makes me feel terrible. most of that is illegal talk so i can't really mention it, but there is so much more but I want to go take a show because I'm covered in butter bacon grease and blood, because just this morning I felt great I waited until everyone was up to eat & I started defrsted some bacon and I was gonna make breafast for everyone even tho I knew they probaby werent gonna eat it they dont really eat & they were gonna stay in theyre rooms with the food anyway I didnt care its the thought that matters right. & my dad comes barging into my room syaing i have an extra xbox controller in my room & immediatly starts complaining about garbage on my floor when there wasnt any there was a blanket & an empty gallon that said sweet baby rays on it, I had used the night before To hold water. I just let him rant and said okay and tryed saying that there was no xbox controller and i get called a liar etc, & I said well im about to leave so lets go im making everyone breakfast and he starts saying he know there is a controller somehwere & my mom joins in saying there is too, but anyway they were arguing and my mom was being so rude to him while I was seperating the bacon in the kitchen i said mom you dont have to be so sarcastic you could just answer his question & i get called everyname in the book and her and my dad start screaming at the top of their lungs i just stand there and ignore it and try to make breakfast then my mom screams ******** you both & that really make me angry because they dont do anything for me and im standung here making breakfast & i said whatever ******** you and i didnt scream it or anything and i usually dont do that but i was done. My dad and her still argue to the point i see theyre getting physically angry because my dad starts shaking his hands then out of no where he comes grabs me and slaps me in the face & i said i didnt do anything and he trys to grab me and take me to my room & i had a glass butter bowl in my hand which broke & i said stop your gonna make me cut my foot & i grabbed and wall and hes pulling me and low and behold i cut my foot, & its all my fault and i get told i cant leave my room & i'm sitting here hungry pissed off and covered in al those things. 10 times a day at least i get cuaght in theyre crossfire and theyre anger is taken out on me & i'm sick of this I want oyt, I want a nice life I wanna be succesful and i'm never gonna get anywhere I want in life living here

  • #2
    Thanks so much for reaching out to NRS. It sounds like you’re feeling frustrated and overwhelmed by everything you’ve had to deal with for so long, and it’s understandable you’d be looking for a way out of that environment.
    You deserve to feel safe at home and to get access to medical care and nutrition. The behavior from your parents you described would be considered abuse, and it is never ok. Abuse is when a parent or caregiver, whether through action or failing to act, causes injury, death, emotional harm or risk of serious harm to a child. There are many forms of abuse, including neglect, physical abuse, and emotional abuse – all of which it sounds like you have experienced. You have the right to report this abuse at any time by telling a teacher, nurse or counselor at school, calling the police, or contacting child protective services. Child Help is a 24/7 anonymous hotline like NRS that is specifically focused on abuse. They can answer your questions about the reporting process and connect you with the right resources in your state to make a report.

    You also mentioned that you were struggling with suicidal thoughts. We understand that it can be very difficult to feel that way and we want you to know that you are not alone. If you ever feel like you might act on those suicidal thoughts, please call 911 or the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-8255. It can also be really helpful to talk to someone about how you’re feeling and how things have been for you at home. One idea could be to check if your school has a counselor or therapist. We can also help you find mental health resources in your area at 1-800-786-2929 if you’d like.

    It shows how strong you are that even in such a stressful situation, you are still researching all your options and reaching out for help. We are here for you 24/7 if you ever want to talk more.
    Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

    National Runaway Safeline
    [email protected] (Crisis Email)
    1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)

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