I dont want to live with my Mom anymore

I don’t wanna live with mom anymore. Her and my family have been doing drugs and drinking and I’m only 10. I came to this website because I was worried. I told her I wanted too move in with my dad but he only has an apartment and my mom has a house and she also says you HAVE too grow up with your mom to learn.

[ccsmod1]

Hey there,

Thanks so much for contacting us, it takes a lot of courage to reach out and share your story. It must be really hard to have to not have a stable home. Your mother’s lackadaisical attitude must be really frustrating. Running away is a big decision and it can be very stressful to figure out what you want to do.

You mentioned some things that raise concern for your safety and well-being, as it sounds like there is some neglect going on at home. If you are at risk of any danger or feeling unsafe, we encourage you to reach out to 911 or seek emergency assistance immediately. If any harm or abuse is happening at home, you have the right to report it. If you feel like this is an option you want to explore, you may find this website helpful: https://www.childhelp.org/child-abuse/. We can also help you to file a report if that’s the route you are considering. It may also be a good idea to explore options for staying with another family member or someone you trust as far as transferring custody.

You also stated that your mother is a consistent drug user. It can be really difficult to live with and love someone who uses drugs. You are not alone in dealing with this. If you’d like some additional support, you can always reach out to Nar-Anon which is a support group for family and friends of drug users. You can check out their site at https://www.nar-anon.org/.

If you’d like to go over what’s going on in depth, or if you’d like to explore other options that you may have available to you, please don’t hesitate to call us at 1-800-RUNAWAY. You can also chat us by clicking on the “CHAT” button on top of our homepage. We’re open 24/7 and here to listen and support you in any way we can.

All the best,
NRS

I’m 17 and currently not in the best situation. My mom can’t afford to keep any housing over the head except for maybe a few days or weeks at a time. Have not had a stable place to live in years. She constantly uses drugs and doesn’t seem to actively look for options to help the situation. The people that are always around are constantly on drugs or in business with drugs. I feel like there’s no one to turn to help because she would be mad at me and I would be in serious trouble with her. She has told me before if I don’t like the situation I’m in to get my stuff and leave. But then she won’t allow me to leave. I’m not sure what my best option is

[ccsmod15]

Re: I dont want to live with my Mom anymore

Hello,
Thank you for reaching out to us at the National Runaway Safeline. We’re here to help.
You explained that your mom tells you that you’re horrible and that she yells at you constantly. We are sorry to hear this. This must be a difficult situation to be in. You definitely deserve to be treated with care and respect at home.
It sounds like you are taking steps to manage the stress at home when your mom gets upset. You also said you want to live with your uncle and are unsure of how to approach this topic. You may consider discussing this idea with a trusted adult of family member. Other sources of support might include a teacher or school counselor. We are available 24/7 at 1-800-RUNAWAY to help you discuss a possible plan to address your situation.
You also have a right to file a child abuse report. We understand that filing an abuse report can be a difficult process. Child Help USA - 1-800-422-4453 - is a hotline that can answer questions and walk you through this process. We at National Runaway Safeline can also help you file a report if you would like. If so, please contact us at 1-800-RUNAWAY.
Best of luck,
NRS

Re: I dont want to live with my Mom anymore

My mom is bipolar and ever since a 2 years ago (when i was 11) we have started fighting every day. Sometimes up to five times a day. I try to calm her down by keeping my voice calm, but then she just keeps yelling at me and tells me that I'm horrible and evil. I was adopted by my dad now, because my biological dad died when i was one. My dad now is old and he doesn't really get involved except for when he gets annoyed at us arguing. Then he tells me to get out of the room. My mom constantly tells me how horrible I am, and its really bad. One time I had a severe headache and she yelled at me telling me that she hope it hurt all while I was crying because the pain was so bad, & I DO NOT cry. I want to be adopted by my cousin, who's old enough to be my uncle. He has two kids and a wife. He's from my unbiological dad's side. He and his wife are my secondary guardians after my grandparents. My grandparents are still working and I don't want to live with them. Can I live with my cousin & how can I approach the topic?

[ccsmod14]

Re: I dont want to live with my Mom anymore

Hi,

Thank you for reaching out to us at the National Runaway Safeline. We’re sorry to hear you are having such a difficult time at home. You mentioned that your mom screams and hits you and this is causing you to feel stressed out. It’s understandable that you feel overwhelmed and it takes a lot of courage to reach out for help. We are here to help you explore your options.

Some other options could be to speak with a school counselor or a therapist in your area about how you have been feeling and what has been going on at home. If you are currently seeing a medical provider for this, you could try talking to them about what has been going on at home or if not, we could help you look up one in your area. Other options would be to speak with a trusted friend or family member about what you have been feeling. Sometimes speaking to someone about these things can help you work out some of these feelings in a healthy manner. You are worthy and you deserve to be happy.

While we are not legal experts, generally speaking if you were to leave home without your parent’s permission, they have the right to file a runaway report and if the police found you, they could make you return home. So when considering your options of staying somewhere else for a period of time, for things to settle down at home, getting your parent’s permission would help you. Some options to consider could be staying at a youth shelter or alternative living arrangement (ALA) or getting permission from your parents to stay with a family member or close friend.

Some other options you could consider to help you cope with your situation at home and how you have been feeling is some self care options. Self care could include things like expressing your emotions through journaling, doing activities like hiking or swimming or taking up a new hobby such as painting or reading. Other options could include taking a short walk or a hot bubble bath when you are feeling overwhelmed and need a break from the stress at home.

If you would like further help exploring any of these options or others in more detail, please feel free to reach out to us directly by calling us at 1-800- RUNAWAY or chatting with us live on our website, We look forward to hearing from you.

Take care,
NRS

Re: I dont want to live with my Mom anymore

I don't wanna live with my mom, I had enough of this I had it enough, she blames everything on me she always makes arguements and say that I am argument alone and that I always bring arguement in the house, she dosnt like me she always shouts at me and hits me behind my back and go look for her belt to beat me....my sister is 16 and I'm 11 my mom only shouts at my sister even though she is so selfish but my mom shouts at me blames everything on me hits me and stuff my mom also, forces me to eat food I used to eat porridge and likes it...now I don't and I said I don't wanna eat porridge anymore y mom forces me to eat it.... I'm stressed...I can't take this I rather live with my dad my sister can stay with my mom and my mom is looking for her belt to beat me...I hate my life it's terrible my mom even saying that o I will put u outside and leave u there and she said u can scream all u want and she said when the the police comes and ask what happen to tell them to take me away my mom dosnt care if she hurts my feeling my mom doesn't care what happens to me she only cares about her self which is selfish and she always say why do I have you children why and she says all ya here to stress me out that's what she says and she says we are ungrateful if I see soemthing wrong with my mom I ask her what happen my mom says " if u ask me that one more time I'll box u in your face" I think in my head what did I say wrong I just asked what's wrong....and if I say soemthing like why, do I need to? She will make it into her own way and say did u just say why do I need to do that and she will call me disrespectful I can't take it my head is pounding me I'm stressed and I'm only 11 I can't take it....I cry everytime I go in my room she takes away all my free Dom and she never takes away my sisters free Dom so I must suffer alone she exspects me to study 10hours everyday and my sister dosnt do that and my mom dosnt care but I do that more but she wants me to do more when I want to take a break and she always talks about man and says your man wouldn't like u when u a women cause you will be lazy and she is saying that to me so I would listen but no I don't care about boys I'm not interested in them is that what's u want me to study that's what I tell me mom....my sister is a dufus I hate her she is the worst a hipocrite a selfish person milipunative and rude she is the worst sister to have..and bye this is my sad story of life with my mom

[ccsmod15]

Re: I dont want to live with my Mom anymore

Hi there,

Thank you for reaching out to us today at the National Runaway Safeline. We recognize it takes great courage to ask for support and share your story. It sounds like living at home with your mother is a tough situation and she threatens you. You don’t deserve to be treated that way. We know it can be especially tough when your parent is drinking and abusing drugs. You mentioned wanting to go live with your dad. It sounds like living with your dad would be a safer option.

Generally, if you were to leave home without permission, your mom could file a runaway report and the police could return you back home. There is also the risk of your dad being charged with harboring a runaway. If you wanted to know how your local police handle these situations, you could call your local non-emergency police number.

Though we are not legal experts, custody can be a tricky thing to navigate if your mom and your dad aren’t in agreement. You mentioned some hesitation around going through the court process of custody. If this was something you wanted to explore more, we could connect you to some possible legal resources in your area.

One option in the meantime is to have a family member or a friend try to mediate a conversation between you and your mother, or even you, your mother, and your father. Sometimes it can be helpful to be able to get away from your mother when she is threatening you or treating you badly. Spending the night at a friend or family member’s house would be an example of this. It can also be helpful to think about ways to cope with your current situation and changing things you are in control of.

Again, thank you for reaching out to us today. We know your home life can be made very difficult if your mom is treating you the way she is. If you ever feel unsafe at home, you always have the option of calling the police. For more options, resources, and support, you can call us at 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929). Our hotline is 24 hours and toll free, so someone will always be available to help you.

Take Care,

NRS

I'm currently living with my mom right now and I'm tired of it. Over the past year, she has changed and I have learned new things about her that she's been lying to me about my entire life. I want to move in with my dad, but she won't let me because she says I use everybody as a tool and I only care about the internet. She doesn't like me having friends because she thinks all guys do drugs and all girls are sluts trying to have sex. She tells at me all the time, and she threatens to physically harm me. She and my step dad say that since I'm 15 I'm gonna be treated like an adult so instead of whippings they want to clock me in the mouth. When I was younger, she would Jack me up by my shirt collar and pinned me up against a wall. I can't even talk to her about how I feel because she says I need to shut up, I don't know what I'm talking about, and if I try to persist she threatens me. She's ungrateful as well...I do something and I get no thank you, my dad (who she hates) who does everything for me gets her truck after it was repoed and she says thanks you and turns around and tells me that I'm just like him, lying and manipulative. That's why no one trusts me. She doesn't even try to help me with anything that's going on when I need it. She says she trying to prevent me from screwing up like she did, but I'm not out at 16 getting girls pregnant like she thinks I am. I don't feel welcome at all and I told her this, this she said I need to watch my mouth and she's done everything for me...she's done nothing but drink and do pills, yes she was an alcoholic and she currently buys pulls from a guy she knows illegally. I need to find a way to leave and go to my dad's, but if I go to court and lose I'm done for. I want to live with my dad because he listens to me, he helps me, he lets me talk, and he has never caused me physical harm. He does everything he can to help me, but who doesn't my Mom so if someone could help me I'd really appreciate it.