I dont want to live with my Mom anymore

[Unregistered]

I'm currently living with my mom right now and I'm tired of it. Over the past year, she has changed and I have learned new things about her that she's been lying to me about my entire life. I want to move in with my dad, but she won't let me because she says I use everybody as a tool and I only care about the internet. She doesn't like me having friends because she thinks all guys do drugs and all girls are sluts trying to have sex. She tells at me all the time, and she threatens to physically harm me. She and my step dad say that since I'm 15 I'm gonna be treated like an adult so instead of whippings they want to clock me in the mouth. When I was younger, she would Jack me up by my shirt collar and pinned me up against a wall. I can't even talk to her about how I feel because she says I need to shut up, I don't know what I'm talking about, and if I try to persist she threatens me. She's ungrateful as well...I do something and I get no thank you, my dad (who she hates) who does everything for me gets her truck after it was repoed and she says thanks you and turns around and tells me that I'm just like him, lying and manipulative. That's why no one trusts me. She doesn't even try to help me with anything that's going on when I need it. She says she trying to prevent me from screwing up like she did, but I'm not out at 16 getting girls pregnant like she thinks I am. I don't feel welcome at all and I told her this, this she said I need to watch my mouth and she's done everything for me...she's done nothing but drink and do pills, yes she was an alcoholic and she currently buys pulls from a guy she knows illegally. I need to find a way to leave and go to my dad's, but if I go to court and lose I'm done for. I want to live with my dad because he listens to me, he helps me, he lets me talk, and he has never caused me physical harm. He does everything he can to help me, but who doesn't my Mom so if someone could help me I'd really appreciate it.

[ccsmod15]

Re: I dont want to live with my Mom anymore

Hi there,

Thank you for reaching out to us today at the National Runaway Safeline. We recognize it takes great courage to ask for support and share your story. It sounds like living at home with your mother is a tough situation and she threatens you. You don’t deserve to be treated that way. We know it can be especially tough when your parent is drinking and abusing drugs. You mentioned wanting to go live with your dad. It sounds like living with your dad would be a safer option.

Generally, if you were to leave home without permission, your mom could file a runaway report and the police could return you back home. There is also the risk of your dad being charged with harboring a runaway. If you wanted to know how your local police handle these situations, you could call your local non-emergency police number.

Though we are not legal experts, custody can be a tricky thing to navigate if your mom and your dad aren’t in agreement. You mentioned some hesitation around going through the court process of custody. If this was something you wanted to explore more, we could connect you to some possible legal resources in your area.

One option in the meantime is to have a family member or a friend try to mediate a conversation between you and your mother, or even you, your mother, and your father. Sometimes it can be helpful to be able to get away from your mother when she is threatening you or treating you badly. Spending the night at a friend or family member’s house would be an example of this. It can also be helpful to think about ways to cope with your current situation and changing things you are in control of.

Again, thank you for reaching out to us today. We know your home life can be made very difficult if your mom is treating you the way she is. If you ever feel unsafe at home, you always have the option of calling the police. For more options, resources, and support, you can call us at 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929). Our hotline is 24 hours and toll free, so someone will always be available to help you.

Take Care,

NRS

[Unregistered]

Re: I dont want to live with my Mom anymore

I don't wanna live with my mom, I had enough of this I had it enough, she blames everything on me she always makes arguements and say that I am argument alone and that I always bring arguement in the house, she dosnt like me she always shouts at me and hits me behind my back and go look for her belt to beat me....my sister is 16 and I'm 11 my mom only shouts at my sister even though she is so selfish but my mom shouts at me blames everything on me hits me and stuff my mom also, forces me to eat food I used to eat porridge and likes it...now I don't and I said I don't wanna eat porridge anymore y mom forces me to eat it.... I'm stressed...I can't take this I rather live with my dad my sister can stay with my mom and my mom is looking for her belt to beat me...I hate my life it's terrible my mom even saying that o I will put u outside and leave u there and she said u can scream all u want and she said when the the police comes and ask what happen to tell them to take me away my mom dosnt care if she hurts my feeling my mom doesn't care what happens to me she only cares about her self which is selfish and she always say why do I have you children why and she says all ya here to stress me out that's what she says and she says we are ungrateful if I see soemthing wrong with my mom I ask her what happen my mom says " if u ask me that one more time I'll box u in your face" I think in my head what did I say wrong I just asked what's wrong....and if I say soemthing like why, do I need to? She will make it into her own way and say did u just say why do I need to do that and she will call me disrespectful I can't take it my head is pounding me I'm stressed and I'm only 11 I can't take it....I cry everytime I go in my room she takes away all my free Dom and she never takes away my sisters free Dom so I must suffer alone she exspects me to study 10hours everyday and my sister dosnt do that and my mom dosnt care but I do that more but she wants me to do more when I want to take a break and she always talks about man and says your man wouldn't like u when u a women cause you will be lazy and she is saying that to me so I would listen but no I don't care about boys I'm not interested in them is that what's u want me to study that's what I tell me mom....my sister is a dufus I hate her she is the worst a hipocrite a selfish person milipunative and rude she is the worst sister to have..and bye this is my sad story of life with my mom

[ccsmod14]

Re: I dont want to live with my Mom anymore

Hi,

Thank you for reaching out to us at the National Runaway Safeline. We’re sorry to hear you are having such a difficult time at home. You mentioned that your mom screams and hits you and this is causing you to feel stressed out. It’s understandable that you feel overwhelmed and it takes a lot of courage to reach out for help. We are here to help you explore your options.

Some other options could be to speak with a school counselor or a therapist in your area about how you have been feeling and what has been going on at home. If you are currently seeing a medical provider for this, you could try talking to them about what has been going on at home or if not, we could help you look up one in your area. Other options would be to speak with a trusted friend or family member about what you have been feeling. Sometimes speaking to someone about these things can help you work out some of these feelings in a healthy manner. You are worthy and you deserve to be happy.

While we are not legal experts, generally speaking if you were to leave home without your parent’s permission, they have the right to file a runaway report and if the police found you, they could make you return home. So when considering your options of staying somewhere else for a period of time, for things to settle down at home, getting your parent’s permission would help you. Some options to consider could be staying at a youth shelter or alternative living arrangement (ALA) or getting permission from your parents to stay with a family member or close friend.

Some other options you could consider to help you cope with your situation at home and how you have been feeling is some self care options. Self care could include things like expressing your emotions through journaling, doing activities like hiking or swimming or taking up a new hobby such as painting or reading. Other options could include taking a short walk or a hot bubble bath when you are feeling overwhelmed and need a break from the stress at home.

If you would like further help exploring any of these options or others in more detail, please feel free to reach out to us directly by calling us at 1-800- RUNAWAY or chatting with us live on our website, We look forward to hearing from you.

Take care,
NRS

[Unregistered]

Re: I dont want to live with my Mom anymore

My mom is bipolar and ever since a 2 years ago (when i was 11) we have started fighting every day. Sometimes up to five times a day. I try to calm her down by keeping my voice calm, but then she just keeps yelling at me and tells me that I'm horrible and evil. I was adopted by my dad now, because my biological dad died when i was one. My dad now is old and he doesn't really get involved except for when he gets annoyed at us arguing. Then he tells me to get out of the room. My mom constantly tells me how horrible I am, and its really bad. One time I had a severe headache and she yelled at me telling me that she hope it hurt all while I was crying because the pain was so bad, & I DO NOT cry. I want to be adopted by my cousin, who's old enough to be my uncle. He has two kids and a wife. He's from my unbiological dad's side. He and his wife are my secondary guardians after my grandparents. My grandparents are still working and I don't want to live with them. Can I live with my cousin & how can I approach the topic?

[ccsmod15]

Re: I dont want to live with my Mom anymore

Hello,
Thank you for reaching out to us at the National Runaway Safeline. We’re here to help.
You explained that your mom tells you that you’re horrible and that she yells at you constantly. We are sorry to hear this. This must be a difficult situation to be in. You definitely deserve to be treated with care and respect at home.
It sounds like you are taking steps to manage the stress at home when your mom gets upset. You also said you want to live with your uncle and are unsure of how to approach this topic. You may consider discussing this idea with a trusted adult of family member. Other sources of support might include a teacher or school counselor. We are available 24/7 at 1-800-RUNAWAY to help you discuss a possible plan to address your situation.
You also have a right to file a child abuse report. We understand that filing an abuse report can be a difficult process. Child Help USA - 1-800-422-4453 - is a hotline that can answer questions and walk you through this process. We at National Runaway Safeline can also help you file a report if you would like. If so, please contact us at 1-800-RUNAWAY.
Best of luck,
NRS

[Guest]

I’m 17 and currently not in the best situation. My mom can’t afford to keep any housing over the head except for maybe a few days or weeks at a time. Have not had a stable place to live in years. She constantly uses drugs and doesn’t seem to actively look for options to help the situation. The people that are always around are constantly on drugs or in business with drugs. I feel like there’s no one to turn to help because she would be mad at me and I would be in serious trouble with her. She has told me before if I don’t like the situation I’m in to get my stuff and leave. But then she won’t allow me to leave. I’m not sure what my best option is

[ccsmod1]

Hey there,

Thanks so much for contacting us, it takes a lot of courage to reach out and share your story. It must be really hard to have to not have a stable home. Your mother’s lackadaisical attitude must be really frustrating. Running away is a big decision and it can be very stressful to figure out what you want to do.

You mentioned some things that raise concern for your safety and well-being, as it sounds like there is some neglect going on at home. If you are at risk of any danger or feeling unsafe, we encourage you to reach out to 911 or seek emergency assistance immediately. If any harm or abuse is happening at home, you have the right to report it. If you feel like this is an option you want to explore, you may find this website helpful: https://www.childhelp.org/child-abuse/. We can also help you to file a report if that’s the route you are considering. It may also be a good idea to explore options for staying with another family member or someone you trust as far as transferring custody.

You also stated that your mother is a consistent drug user. It can be really difficult to live with and love someone who uses drugs. You are not alone in dealing with this. If you’d like some additional support, you can always reach out to Nar-Anon which is a support group for family and friends of drug users. You can check out their site at https://www.nar-anon.org/.

If you’d like to go over what’s going on in depth, or if you’d like to explore other options that you may have available to you, please don’t hesitate to call us at 1-800-RUNAWAY. You can also chat us by clicking on the “CHAT” button on top of our homepage. We’re open 24/7 and here to listen and support you in any way we can.

All the best,
NRS

[Guest]

I don’t wanna live with mom anymore. Her and my family have been doing drugs and drinking and I’m only 10. I came to this website because I was worried. I told her I wanted too move in with my dad but he only has an apartment and my mom has a house and she also says you HAVE too grow up with your mom to learn.

[ccsmod9]

Hello,

You mentioned some things that raise concern for your safety and well-being. If any harm or abuse is happening at home, you have the right to report it. We are not experts on the issue, but generally once it's been reported, social services will either decide whether or not to take the case and further investigate. If they do take the case, they will send out someone from child protective services to do an investigation (interviewing people in the household) and from there they will decide the level of danger within the household. It generally ranges from no danger (the youth stays in the home, some services are given, and the case is closed), moderate danger (they will provide family services with possible temporary displacement) and high danger (they will remove the youth from the home and offer certain services).

If you feel like this is an option you want to explore, you may find this website helpful: https://www.childhelp.org/child-abuse/. We can also help you to file a report if that’s the route you are considering.

Please be safe and reach out soon by phone or chat so that we may help.
Take care,
NRS

[Guest]

i hate living with my mom and she hates my boyfriend and i don't know what to do help me please?

[ccsmod2]

Hello There,
Thank you for reaching out to The National Runaway Safeline, we are here to help and here to listen. It sounds like you may be going through a difficult time right now. If you were to leave your mother does have the right to file a runaway report, if the police did find you they most likely would bring you back home. You could see if you would be able to stay with friends or any family members. Another option to consider is to consider talking with your school counselor about what is going on. Sometimes speaking with a professional can help you come up with options you may have not even thought of.
We hope this information will be helpful to you in your situation. If you have any other questions or would like to explore your options please give us a call. We are here 24/7 to listen and provide support. Best of luck!
NRS

[Guest]

My mom goes through my phone and she says it's hers. She only says it's hers so she can have complete control. I have my sister's secrets deepest secrets too and she keeps figuring it out and my sister is 16 and she gets more depressed. no, she doesn't fake depression. she used to disobey every rule and she still does but now she is begging to come back because she is homeless. she is living with my grandma and aunt. my mom didn't want them to know our address because she didn't want to be bothered. I gave it to them and she is going to know if 696 kids bring her here. she is not taking there calls either. see I love my grandma she makes me clean but not as often as my mother. my mother still asks me to clean her room and I'm 12 turnings 13. she calls me the b words and she said my sister is better than I am because at least she cleans. I stopped cleaning and she calls me lazy but I'm fed up with her making messes and not cleaning up after herself. she was on the phone with her friend and I was repeatedly moved slow cleaning so she hit me hard and took pictures of me crying and she sent them to her friend. she downloaded an app to get messages phone calls and the gallery pretty much everything I have on my phone. I only have one wish, to stay with my grandma.

[ccsmod3]

Thank you for reaching out to us. It sounds like you have a lot of things going on at home. It must be hard having your mom monitor everything you do and not having any privacy. That’s terrible that your mom calls you names. The environment that you are in sounds toxic and your mom sounds like she could be verbally abusive. If you feel like you are in an unsafe environment you can contact, Child Help, to discuss any verbal or physical abuse that is taking place. If you feel like that is what is going on. They can walk you through your options of reporting it or just be someone you talk to about what is going on at home.
Sometimes talking to family like your grandmother, counselor at school, or a therapist can help relieve some of the stress you are dealing with living in that environment. If you ever feel like you want to talk to someone about what you are experiencing text NAMI at 741741 or call 1800-950-NAMI.
If you are under the age of 18 and you leave home without permission, you could be considered a runaway. This means that your parent or legal guardian could call the police, who might force you to return home. Running away is not a crime, however anyone who allows you to stay with them could risk criminal charges for harboring a runaway. We are not legal experts. Laws are different from state to state, county to county, city to city. In some areas, police might not take a runaway report for youth who are close to turning 18, or they might take a report but not force a youth to return home. How a local police department responds to the situation can vary drastically. A good way to find out the laws in your area is to call your local police and ask what their policies are. If you have any other questions or would like to explore your options please give us a call. We are here 24/7 to listen and provide support. Best of luck!

[Guest]

My mom treats me like I’m a fly on a wall, and all I ever did was respect and do whatever she wanted me to do. I never asked for anything from her. I always stayed open and honest to her but she always treated me like ******** and always disrespected me. I want to leave and go stay with someone else without getting into trouble with law.

[ccsmod15]

Hi there,

Thanks for reaching out to the National Runaway Safeline, as we understand it takes a lot of bravery to tell your story.

We are very sorry to hear that your mom has been mistreating you. You deserve to be respected. In terms of your mom, we would recommend talking to others, like a school counselor, trusted adult, or friend, about how she has been treating you as long as you feel comfortable doing so or haven’t already. Again only if you feel comfortable, you could give us a call and we could help you file an abuse report about your mom. This could make it easier for you to legally go live with someone else. However, it is a longer process and verbal/emotional abuse can be harder to prove.

We are glad to hear that you have someone else you are able to stay with. Running away is only a status offense, meaning it will be erased from your record once you turn 18. If you run away, your mom could file a runaway report about you, meaning that if you were found, you would be returned home. However, the police do not usually look for runaway youth. If you do decide to run away, it can be helpful to have a plan, which we can help you make if you would like.

Thanks again for reaching out. We understand it takes a lot of strength to reach out for help. Feel free to reach out again anytime as were are available 24/7.

Best of Luck!

[Guest]

Hey there, I don’t want to live with my mom.

I love my mom, I do. It’s just now for the past year she has changed since my grandma had died which is who I lived with before she got custody. So now the past months she has been telling me lies and denying the truth. I can tell when she lies now. She lies to me most of the time now. My sister is currently in her 20’s and she has been through the same thing with her. She is always leaving home and not taking me with. She won’t tell me where she goes but she comes home acting weird then I smell achohol. So now I don’t know what to do. I’m always trying my best to be nice to her but she makes it hard. I always talk back her now and not listen and she wonders why. I’m like only if you knew. Sometimes we have time to sit down and talk and spend time with each other...which we really don’t don’t more. I’m 14 and in high school. I just don’t know what to do anymore....

[ccsmod13]

Hi, thank you for reaching out to NRS. This sounds like a very difficult situation you are facing. It can be hard when we lose family members. That can cause stress and sometimes it affects those we care about in negative ways. It sounds like you are dealing with it to the best of your ability and it is good that you are able to speak to your mom sometimes.

It sounds like you have someone to confide in in your sister, as she has also gone through the same experiences with your mom. Having someone to talk to can be very helpful. Sometimes counselors in your school can be good resources or they can provide additional direction. If you ever felt like calling in at 1-800-RUNAWAY we offer a service of call mediation where we would be happy to conference a call between you and your mother to create an environment where you can tell her how you feel. We are here 24/7 to offer you support during this challenging time.

Good Luck,
NRS

[Guest]

I don’t want to live with my mom. I literally hate it here and I’m treated like crap. But I can’t live with my dad because he’s in Texas. But being her is making my mental health so much worse. What can I do

[ccsmod9]

Hello –

Thank you for contacting us here at the National Runaway Safeline. We understand that it takes great courage to reach out. We are sorry to hear about the way you have been treated. It sounds horrible to receive rejection from someone that you care about. It sounds like the mistreatment at home is becoming difficult to deal with. You deserve to be treated kindly and feel supported wherever you live.

Depending on what you are looking for, there are most likely Youth Transitional Living Programs in your area that you can stay at. These programs provide homeless youth with independent living skills, a nurturing environment, and safety. If life at home has become unbearable this is an option for you.

If you are interested in trying to improve your conditions at home, the National Runaway Safeline (1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929)) offers a conference call service. This conference call service is a moderated conversation between you, a member of the NRS, and your mom. In this conversation you set the guidelines and goals in order to have a productive conversation that can improve how you are treated at home.

We hope the information provided helps. Remember we are available 24/7 and can be toll-free reached at the number listed above. We are confidential, anonymous, and non-direct. We can also be reached via live chat.

Best Wishes
~NRS

[Guest]

I dont want to live with my mom anymore because she is very manipulative with me and she is not a very good mother towards my younger 4 year old sister. My mom will use my medicine for money or for her own purpose. I cant really spend the night anywhere because my mom says she'll kill herself if I dont come home that night. She treats my younger sister like crap to where I have to take care of her and become the mother. My mom also has a multiple range of mental issues. If i try to talk to her she just shuts me up and tells me how annoying my little sister and I are. I dont know how to fix this because in her deppressive states she will just sleep all day long for weeks or days. Then im stuck with cleaning the house or taking care of my sister. Then she gets really mad really easily like if I say I'm going outside she'll start screaming at me on how annoying I am and how she doesnt care.

[ccsmod13]

Thanks for contacting NRS and we appreciate you sharing a little bit about what’s going on. We want you to know that we are here as support to help you with figuring out your next steps in this difficult situation. Asking for help was really responsible and smart of you. We are sorry to hear things are so unstable at home. You deserve to live somewhere that makes you feel safe and supported. From what you mentioned, you have taken on the responsibility of being the adult and the parent in household. Even though it does sound like you are an amazing older sister and you have been trying your best to fill the gap left by your mom, it is unfair that your mom places so much responsibility onto you. It is not okay that your mom makes those threats when you try to leave and talks down to you and your little sister.

You do have the option to get child protective services involved in order to get help and support for you and your sister. There is an organization called Child Help that will advocate for young people and make sure you are safe and supported. Child Help can talk with you about what child services would do to intervene and they can support you through the reporting process. You can contact them at 1-800-422-4453 or www.childhelphotline.org. You do not have to navigate this situation alone and you deserve to feel supported.

It can be very difficult to make the decision to leave, but some young people believe it is their best and safest option. You know your situation better than anyone and what might be the most beneficial for your well-being. If you decide to leave and your mom threatens to kill herself, you can call 911 for emergency services. We can connect you to any needed resources and brainstorm safe places for you to stay if you decide you want to leave home. We are available 24/7 to listen and help as much as possible. If you would like to talk more in detail about your situation and explore your possible options, you can call our hotline at 1-800-786-2929 or use our live chat services at www.1800runaway.org.

We wish you the best and hope to hear from you soon,
NRS

[Guest]

My mom is sooo controlling and narcissistic. She makes my life a living hell. She’s always saying something to me or never lets me live my life the way I want. She always has to make decisions for me and she’s never happy with what I do. She’s always worried about what others think and she lies to other people about what I do because she’s ashamed. The worst part is she doesn’t even know that she is doing wrong to me. I live in fear of doing anything and everything and I can’t seem to put myself to in the right place because of that fear. I feel so frustrated and irritated to the point where I want to runaway but she won’t even let me leave.

the best time I had in my life was when I was away from her. Sadly to say she does not know this either. I saved up money and she’s holding it and won’t give it to me. I feel like she’s holding me back from living my life and she’s trying to control every bit of it. I feel so trapped and hurt I can’t seem to find a way out. Any kind of advice would be great.

[ccsmod0]

Hi there,
Thank you for writing to us here at National Runaway Safeline (NRS). We understand it takes great courage to reach out, and we appreciate you sharing a little bit about what’s going on with your mom and how she is treating you. We want you to know that we are here as support to help you through this challenging time, but we don't necessarily give advice. We are here to listen and help you talk out some of your options. We can best help by phone or chat as NRS is unable to respond more than twice by email or bulletin for assistance. If you would like to talk more in detail and share more about how we can help specifically, please call or chat soon.
Our contact information is 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929); www.1800runaway.org (click on the chat button).
If you are at risk of any danger or feeling unsafe, we encourage you to reach out to 911 or seek emergency assistance immediately.
We hope to hear from you soon.
Be safe,
NRS

We hope this response was helpful! We'd love to hear from you about your experience using our crisis email/forum. Your feedback plays an important role in helping us improve our services to support youth and families. Please click the link below to fill out our survey: https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/we_care_what_you_think