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my mom doesnt understand and never tries to help

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  • my mom doesnt understand and never tries to help

    i want to do better in school but i just feel like i cant do it. i always forget and i feel like a total failure and that my mom hates me. shes screamed at me before and today about my missing assignments and school has just begun! she has been pushing me lately and she doesnt take the time to see if something at school is the issue. when someone raises their voice at me i get really emotional and mom was just totally in my face. she took my phone and im so scared on when im gonna get it back i was gonna do the asignments, i really was but she never gave me a chnace to. shes worsened my mental and emotional state to the point that i dont want to eat and just sleep all the time. life is stressful and i feel like running to my friends house. i cried for about an hour now, my friends are probally worried sick i havent texted back yet.and my boyfriend will be more worried. i dont understand why i ¨forget¨ or dont do assignments, its like an invisable wall stopping me, telling me theres better stuff to do and that it isnt important. my mom hates me, i know she does. shes is always forcing me to be like my oldest succsesful brother.......wait until she hears im contemplating if im even going to college at all....

  • #2
    Hi, thanks for reaching out to us at NRS.
    It sounds like things have been chaotic and constantly changing with your home environment, and although you have finally found some general sense of “stability” at home with your dad, it has been emotionally draining and challenging in other ways. It’s great that you have such a good relationship with your grandma, but it seems like your dad and stepmother aren’t on board with it right now. Do you think it would be possible for your grandma to talk with them about it to see if there is any way they could change their mind? Something we offer on our hotline is that we could help mediate a conference call with your dad to help you discuss how things have been going at home and seeing if he is willing to compromise on either allowing you to stay with your grandma, or seeing if there is anything he is willing to change to make things better at home. We are available 24/7 for this or to discuss it further (800) 786-2929. Getting consent from your legal guardian to live with another adult is typically the easiest legal way to leave home, although we understand that it’s not always feasible. You can always call us at the number above to see if there are other resources that might be helpful to you, such as counseling or shelters.
    Best of luck,
    Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

    National Runaway Safeline
    [email protected] (Crisis Email)
    1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)

    Tell us what you think about your experience!


    • #3
      I am helpful I do everything my parents ask. I just can never please my adopted parents. I want to go back to my actual family. My adopted mom. She treats me like a doll, she gets me clothes and stuff, but then she goes on about how I need to get skinnier and how I look like a dude. She won't let me date. I get that but im 14, and she lets my younger brother whos 11 date. She makes me clean the house, but I cant hang out with my friends. Even to study. Im really struggling with depression, I just wish my adopted mom would love me. Why cant I just move back to my real family?


      • ccsmod7
        ccsmod7 commented
        Editing a comment
        Hey there,

        Thanks for reaching out, that takes a lot of courage. It sounds like you have a frustrating living situation. It’s great that you are helpful around the house and trying to make an effort with your adoptive family. You mentioned there are some double standards between you and your brother. That must feel really unfair. If you would like help talking with your adoptive mom about what’s going on and how you feel we have a conference calling service where we can help you advocate for yourself. Having a mediator to help with the conversation helps everyone feel heard and can help come up with lasting solutions. It’s not ok if your adoptive mom keeps putting you down for you looks and making you feel unloved.

        You also mentioned you are struggling with depression. Talking with a trusted adult might help with your feelings and they might be able to steer you to the appropriate help you need. If you feel comfortable you can try having a candid conversation with your adoptive mom about how you are feeling and what you need to feel better. Another person you could try if you don’t feel comfortable with your adoptive mom, would be a trusted person at school, like a teacher or counselor. If you would like to reach out to someone else about your depression, NAMI has a help line you can call in to talk with someone to get support. (800-950-NAMI or text “NAMI” to 741741).

        It sounds like you are missing your real family. We don’t know what happened with your real family, so we can’t say if that is an option or not. If you would like to talk more in depth about your real family you can call or chat with us ( or 1-800-786-2929).

        Again you are brave for reaching out for help, that isn’t always easy. If you would like to talk more in-depth about anything going on we are available 24/7, here to listen, here to help.

        Good luck!
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