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I can't stand my parents, am on the verge of running away, advice needed?

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  • ccsmod10
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    RE: Test

    This is a test

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  • ccsmod10
    replied
    RE:

    Hello!

    Thanks for posting in our forum. It is great that you are responding to a posting that you may have experience with or resonates with you in some way. It is important that what may be great options for one, may not be the best for most as all situations and people are different. If you ever wanted to talk, we are always here at 1800-RUNAWAY.

    Best Wishes,
    NRS

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  • Guest's Avatar
    Guest replied
    Well I'd say a friend or a family member to live with dude but wait till your 18 to do it

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  • ccsmod16
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    Re: I can't stand my parents, am on the verge of running away, advice needed?

    Hi there,

    Thank you, so much, for posting. It sounds like there is a lot happening at home and that you’ve been doing a lot of thinking. At NRS, we try to not tell people what to do, or to give advice per se. We believe that you know your situation the best. The most important thing to us is that you are safe and off the streets, which is so great that you are aware that staying safe is important.

    You mentioned having symptoms of anxiety and experiencing panic attacks, but not having a diagnosis. You also mentioned not wanting to be in therapy. While we trust you know your situation the best, it would be interesting to find out more about your thoughts on therapy. Not in order to suggest that therapy is something you should do, but rather as a way to better support you. For example, there are some resources available for people struggling with anxiety, depression and self-injury which are listed below…but, perhaps your feelings about not wanting to be in therapy would mean you might not be interested in such resources.

    To Write Love On Her Arms https://twloha.com/
    National Suicide hotline (for depression/anxiety, not “just” suicide) http://www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org/

    It sounds like communicating with your parents is a challenge. Please know that we have a conference call service if you feel like that may be helpful. What that would consist of is having you and then your mom (or dad) and us on the phone together. Our role, then, would be to mediate the call. We would act as a neutral third party helping both parties better articulate their feelings and make sure both parties feel heard and understood. If you feel like that may be helpful, or something you want to learn more about, please feel free to give us a call (1-800-RUNAWAY 786-2929).

    It sounds like things that could be discussed on a conference call would be perhaps asking your parents if you could stay with a friend or go to the shelter for a few days. You mentioned that you likely wouldn’t want to run away permanently, but that a few days break might be a good idea. That seems like a wise realization. You also mentioned pretending nothing happened after a fight. It seems like discussing your thoughts and feelings may be helpful.

    If you have any further questions or would want to talk to someone about what you have been experiencing, please feel free to reach out to us. Our lines are opens 24/7. We wish you the best of luck and hope to hear from you soon.

    Best,
    NRS

    Leave a comment:


  • I can't stand my parents, am on the verge of running away, advice needed?

    Hi, I'm 17 years old (18 in less than 3 months) and I have seriously begun thinking about running away. Before it was more like a joke, something I could never really go through, but now I feel like I might actually do it. I know I don't live in a abusive household, and I realize I am very privileged and blessed with nice things, but I can't take it anymore. My parents and I fight ALL the time. I cry a lot, and when I was younger I used to pick at spots and imperfections on my face after fights because I was so stressed. I mad so many scars on my face. I haven't been diagnosed with anxiety, but I definitely have many of the symptoms, along with panic attacks every so often when it gets bad. When I had my first panic attack, my parents were very loving and caring. my mom sat with me 'til I fell asleep. Now, I'm too scared to tell them when I feel anxious, because my mother will say, "You need to get over it," or she will get angry and say, "I don't know how to deal with this! What have I done wrong that my kids turn out like this?!" (My brother has severe anxiety and depression, and my other brother had something I believe to be anxiety-related, but my parents would never tell me). My parents love me, but the things they say to me when we fight hurt me more than anything else. They tell me that they only love me because they have to love me, that I am rude and that they have no idea how I have any friends, that they won't miss me when I leave because the house will be so much quieter and well-behaved. This stuff mostly comes from my mom. I fight a lot with my little sister too, but my parents only punish me because a) I'm older than her and should know better b) they refuse to believe my side of the story, if they ever give me the chance to share it.

    Obviously, I realize that they do love me, but I honestly can't stand living here any longer. But it also seems ridiculous to run away when I am so close to graduating and leaving anyways. However, I wouldn't run away permanently, just for a couple of days or however long I can last before I need to come home. I just want them to understand how hurtful they are and see that this fighting is a two-way street, they need to start treating me better too. Usually after we fight, my parents will treat me like nothing happened between us, so I also pretend like it didn't happen (mostly because I am a Christian and know it is wrong to hold a grudge). They assume that I've gotten over what they said, but in reality I sit in bed crying at night because the fights. And when my parents fight with each other, it's even worse. They have zero respect for myself and my little sister, arguing in front of us, and if I say something to them, my mom blows a fuse. Or if I try to take my little sister away, she get cross and tell me to come back here. I can't talk to anyone at school because my dad is the Head of the school and teachers/counselors are mandated reporters. This year will be my second year at this school and I had no problem making friends, but I don't know them well enough or am comfortable enough to tell them these things.

    I sort of have a car, one that my parents let me use but are probably giving to my brother (who has already had three different cars, including taking one that was originally for me). I have about $100 and a phone (but I know they could track me with that, so I might not take it). Where I live, you can report a missing person right away, so I would have to come home pretty soon after I ran away or the police would find me. There is a youth shelter near my house and I thought about going there, but the people there are going to want to drag my parents into the situation, and since I don't live in a "crisis" situation at home it feels a bit wrong to take advantage of their resources. I might ask one of my friends if I could spend the night at their house or park my car outside their house, or my maybe I'll drive all the way (7 hours) to see my brothers (who I also fight with a lot. Every one in my family gets along with each other except for me). Would it be silly for me to consider running away at all? I don't feel like I can talk to my parents about these issues because a) they don't believe they exist b) I would start crying as soon as I opened my mouth c) they would try and put me into therapy, something they have threatened for years but I don't want. Also, is there a better plan for running away and still staying safe than the one I outlined?
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