My mom won't let me leave

[ccsmod15]

Hi there,
Thank you for writing to us here at National Runaway Safeline (NRS). We understand it takes great courage to reach out, and we appreciate you sharing a little bit about what’s going on. It seems there is a lot that you are faced with right now and you’re feeling like leaving is one of your only options. It seems you want to know some information on runaway laws.
While we are not experts on the law, 18 is generally the age that an individual may leave home without parent permission. If you are under 18 and leave home, your parent/guardian may file you as a runaway and you may be returned home. Also, those you stay with may run the risk of being charged with harboring a runaway. For more specifics on the law, the local non-emergency police or legal aid may better answer legal questions.
We are here as support to help through this challenging time. We can best help by phone or chat as NRS is unable to respond more than twice by email and forum to assist you. If you would like to talk more in detail please call or chat soon.
Our contact information is 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929); www.1800runaway.org (click on the chat button).
If you are at risk of any danger or feeling unsafe, we encourage you to reach out to 911 or seek emergency assistance immediately.
Be safe,
NRS

I am 17 and will be 18 in 6 months, now I know that isn't long, but I want to leave. My mom won't let me see my boyfriend, dad and friends. She won't let me go out to parties and she has expressed many, many times how I don't deserve to leave and has said that I don't deserve love from my boyfriend especially and he says that's abuse and I can go to court and fight her and possibly leave. I was wondering though; would I be able to move in with him if I was free to leave?

[ccsmod16]

Hi. Thank you for reaching out to NRS, we know that it takes a lot of bravery to do that. At NRS, we are here for you, to talk through and come up with resources to help you in your situation. This situation is really difficult especially because you are earning your own money and your mom does not respect your wishes. If you call or give us a chat, we can give you some resources such as reaching out to a family friend or counselor, roleplaying a conversation with your family, or finding shelters near you. Since we do not know the exact nature of the situation currently it can be hard to describe what the options would be like. However, we know that you only deserve love and support by your family and are here to support you during this time.



This feeling that you are being trapped can be very isolating and we would like you know that you are not alone. We can explore nearby shelters in your area and discuss what it would look like to leave your home and ask for help. We can understand that there are a lot of different factors to consider, however, we know that you do not deserve to be treated this way.

I’m dealing with something similar. I’m 16 almost 17, I have a car and my own money but my mom takes those things away from me and doesn’t let me leave. Even though I worked for my money and my car is my own, she still takes it away and throws tantrums when I say I want to leave. Even if it’s just for a night or a couple hours, she goes insane and lashes out. It sucks, I feel trapped and u have no where else to go.

[ccsmod15]

Hi there,
Thank you for writing to us here at National Runaway Safeline (NRS). We understand it takes great courage to reach out, and we appreciate you sharing a little bit about what’s going on. We want you to know that we are here as support to help you through this challenging time. We can best help by phone or chat as NRS is unable to respond more than twice by email or bulletin for assistance. If you would like to talk more in detail and share more about how we can help specifically, please call or chat soon.
Our contact information is 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929); www.1800runaway.org (click on the chat button).
If you are at risk of any danger or feeling unsafe, we encourage you to reach out to 911 or seek emergency assistance immediately.
We hope to hear from you soon.
Be safe,
NRS

My mom won't let me hang out/talk to anyone outside of school. She gets mad when I don't want to spend time with her. I just want the ability to see people, and not fear her for wanting that.

[ccsmod15]

Hello,

Thanks ever so much for reaching out to us. We are so sorry that things at home have been so difficult with your parents. It sounds like living there has been very stressful and you are hoping to explore your options. Although we cannot tell you what to do, we will do our best to share information that might help you figure out your next steps.

We are not legal experts, but from what we understand, if you are not considered a legal adult in your state, you need the consent of a parent or legal guardian to leave your home and live somewhere else. It may help to explore with your parents whether there are steps you can take to help them feel more comfortable with you socializing and spending time with friends. It may also help to explore whether they would be comfortable with you engaging in extra-curricular activities at school, so that if you are still running into challenges getting permission to hang out with your friends casually, perhaps you can hang out with them during school activities. If you feel that the lack of socialization has made it difficult for you to cope with the day to day stresses, it may also help to ask whether they would be open to family counseling, so that all three of you can have a forum to address how the home situation has affected you. If you would like more information on local resources, or just want to talk about your situation further, feel free to reach out to us.

Whatever you decide, know that we are here to support you. Don't hesitate to reach out to us, as we will do our best to help you explore your options as you figure out what is best for you. If you would like to talk more in detail please call or chat soon. Our contact information is 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929); www.1800runaway.org (click on the chat button). We are here to listen, here to help.

Stay safe,

NRS

hi, i’m a 14 year old female and my parents never let me out the house to straight up just hang with friends. i’m not sure what to do anymore, they’ve told me that going outside is dangerous and all of the possibilities that could happen to me as a normal teenager. they’ve told me this to the point where i’m even scared going out with them and i probably have ptsd. i’m going in to high school and am still getting told the same things if i ask to go out with friends. i cant live like this anymore and i don’t know what to do. they say when i’m 18 i can leave, but i don’t think i could wait anymore. i’m so stressed out just staying in this house. i barely have friends because of them and it hurts because of how much they’ve ruined my social life. if you could please give me any ideas or advice to leave or have freedom, it’s very much appreciated. thank you. btw, it’s mostly my mom.

[ccsmod5]

Hi there,

Thanks for reaching out, it sounds like home has been pretty stressful lately. Two years can seem like a very long time to wait, especially if you feel uncomfortable in your own home. If you’re considering leaving it’s important to know that 18 years old is generally the age that an individual may leave home without permission from their parent or legal guardian. We are not legal experts here but we can speak in general terms. If you are under 18 and leave home without permission, your parent/guardian may file a runaway report with the police. What actions the police take once you are filed as a runaway can vary a lot from state to state and even city to city so we cannot predict exactly what would happen in your case. Generally speaking, if you encounter a police officer while reported as a runaway, you will likely be returned home. However, in that case there may be services (family counseling, etc.) available to you as a youth in crisis/runaway but again, police procedures related to offering those services can be different based on your location or the details of your situation. Another thing to consider is that while running away is not a crime, a legal adult who allows you to stay with them may be putting themselves at risk for being charged with harboring a runaway. One way to find out the laws in your area is to call your local police and ask what their policies are regarding runaway youth. We are here to listen and support you as best we can, if you have any questions or need help finding resources call us or chat with us! We hope this helps.

Stay strong,
NRS

Im about to be 16 i cant go nowhere she just told me today that i have tp be 18 to leave and i cant have fun untill im out her house idk why she does this but the way she was texting me youd never think she was my mom idk what to do she even threatens to take my boyfriend from me again for another year yeah she did that cause i lost my virginity to him im depressed and just today i was supposed to go by the water with my cousin and he friend to the water and see ducks and turtles but i asked her if i could go she said no... I even had a whole dream that even when i grew up i was stuck here banging and screaming for help and if i left id be brought back lol

[ccsmod1]

Hi there,

Thank you for reaching out to NRS! We know that it takes a lot of courage to reach out, and we appreciate you sharing a little bit about what’s going on at home. Parents splitting up is never easy, and we’re so sorry that you’ve had to experience that - in addition to not being allowed to see your dad.

We want you to know that we’re here to support you through this challenging time. Since NRS is unable to respond more than twice by email/forum, we can best help by phone or chat. If you’d like to talk in more detail and learn more about how we can help specifically, please call or chat soon. Often, having a safe space to share how you’re feeling may bring a variety of solutions previously not thought of. You are not alone in this. Our contact information is 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929); www.1800runaway.org (click on the chat button).

If you are ever at risk of any danger or feeling unsafe, we encourage you to reach out to 911 or seek emergency assistance immediately. If you ever need a safe place to go, you can visit The National Safeplace website (www.nationalsafeplace.org).

We hope to hear from you soon.

Be safe,
NRS

I'm 14 and my mom and dad have split and my mom won't let me go to my dad. I'm pretty much held hostage

I need to leave because she is putting too much stress on me for being a 14 year old. I've asked her if I can go to my best friends house but she said no and I said I need to get out of here and she said if i leave I'm going to call the cops .

i can relate so much, i’m 13 and my mom won’t let me leave to my cousins or my friends house and if i do she will call the cops to

[ccsmod7]

Thank you for your response to another user’s post. Often forums are a place of support and understanding for many youth. It often may be validating and helpful for users to read similar situations as well as exchange feedback to one another. For anyone experiencing any difficulties or challenges, the National Runaway Safeline encourages youth to reach out to our 24/7 crisis support line either by phone or chat for immediate services.

Thank you,

NRS

im dealing with the same issue