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im living my own personal hell

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  • im living my own personal hell

    Hi I’m 13 and I want to run away from home... it may seem stupid for a 13 year old to want to run away but my life isn’t exactly good...I was born in an Arab family so that means I’m supposed to be Muslim. a young age I was pretty good but then my parents said we would move to Quebec and I was happy about that but I didn’t know what was going to happen when we moved there, these kids started to bully me and call me a terrorist and pull off my hijab and run around with it..Also in the winter they would sometimes throw ice at my while calling me mean things. It was then that I first realized I never actually believed in the religion I just did it to make my parents happy. And at the same time I also started to do bad things...I would lie, steal, swear and never care about a thing I was through all my lying that my parents started to distrust me and so no one trusted me at the time I was 10 I had wanted to kill myself... at 12 I started to develop a love for art dance and music. But my parents hated music since in our religion music is a sin but here’s the problem. The music I was listening to was making me happier and happier and I was slowly starting to love myself because I am fat and my parents have been comparing me and saying I look fat basically all my life. So through this music I started to love myself but my brother was a BIG problem...every time he saw me listening to music he would complain and make fun of the music I was listening to and my entire family would join in and soon my parents started to tell me to stop listening to music, but I couldn’t do parents are always accusing me of things like stealing money and all sorts of things, every time I denied it they would call me a liar. And what makes this whole situation worse is that I’m the middle child and my brother is the oldest. He was always the perfect son, good grades, starting to lose weight, does his work and is quiet, when I told him that music was the only thing in life that was keeping me living and I begged him while crying to stop mentioning it as a sin in front of mom and dad all he did was say he didn’t care and left I had just told him I was close to killing myself and the only thing stopping me was the thing he was taking away from me and all he said was I don’t care. My parents ALWAYS compare me to everyone else they see and I asked them to stop doing it because I have low self-esteem but they wouldn’t...I have been called fat and ugly by my family all my life and I am just so sick of it, I never wanted this religion but my parents would never let me take off my hijab let alone quit this stupid sexist religion. I never wanted this life and I never wanted this family and I’m ready to leave

    my friend who is going to move back to Quebec says she has a house there and that I could stay there when I decide to run away and that she could get me some sort of ride to Quebec so I wouldn’t have to travel the whole way by foot

    But I just wanna know if I can run away at this age or a different age and if I could get caught and sent back and do u have any tips on running away? And also please tell me if it’s a good reason or not because I am honestly getting tired of hearing hurtful words and believing them

    All my mother seems to care about is what people would think of her and her hideous daughter so I’ll just leave.
    Last edited by ccsmod4; 08-31-2019, 01:27 AM.

  • #2
    I'm living my own personal hell

    Thank you for writing to us here at National Runaway Safeline (NRS).

    It sounds like you have been going through a very tough emotional time at home with your parent’s. It took a lot of courage for you to reach out. We appreciate you sharing your feelings about the situation. Your feelings matter. It sounds like you’re quite overwhelmed by the mistreatment you have been receiving. You don’t deserve to be bullied and abused by anyone. It’s not your fault that this is happening. You have every right to want fairness from the people around you. Good for you for finding refuge in the music you listen to. Having an outlet is an important tool when feeling stressed. Being frustrated sometimes can feel overwhelmed and not sure what to do. We’re sorry you’re going through this. If you are at risk of any danger or feeling unsafe, we encourage you to reach out or seek emergency assistance immediately.
    For depression or suicidal thoughts you might consider contacting the National Suicide and Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-8255.

    Often, having a safe space to share how you’re feeling may bring a variety of solutions previously not thought of. You are not alone in this. We want you to know that we are here as support to help you through this challenging time. We are limited as to how we can help in this type of forum. You did a great job reaching out today.

    If you would like to talk more in detail and explore options, please call 1-800-Runaway (786-2929) or chat soon through our website (click on the chat button) if you are unable to call in.

    Be safe,
    Last edited by ccsmod4; 08-31-2019, 01:25 AM.
    Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

    National Runaway Safeline
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