Your dad seems bad he should not do that to you
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Can/Should i call CPS for verbal abuse? Or is this even verbal abuse??
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Hi there,
Thank you for writing to us here at National Runaway Safeline (NRS). We understand it takes great courage to reach out, and we appreciate you sharing a little bit about what’s going on. It sounds like you’re quite overwhelmed by things at home right now. It sounds like you’re fearing that the situation may end in suicide if things don’t change. Your safety and well-being is important. If you are at risk of any danger or feeling unsafe, we encourage you to reach out to 911 or seek emergency assistance immediately. The National Suicide Prevention Lifeline 1-800-273-TALK (8255); www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org is also a great resource to reach out to in addition to our crisis services.
You also mentioned experiencing emotional abuse which may be reportable against your preants. Please keep in mind you by no means deserve any type of abuse, emotional or otherwise. Unfortunately, emotional abuse is often harder to provide evidence for compared to physical abuse which is often what CPS relies on when conducting an abuse investigation. That said, we can’t be 100% sure what the outcome will be if your local CPS decides to open a case based on what you share. Sometimes CPS decides to remove minors from the home and other times they offer services such as family counseling or mediation instead. The only way to know the outcome might be to reach out to them directly and if you’re ready to do that we are here to help you through that process. Reaching out to Child Help USA at 1-800-422-4453 or www.childhelp.org may help to get a better understanding of what may happen before and after a report is made.
Often, having a safe space to share how you’re feeling may bring a variety of solutions previously not thought of. Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem. This may be an isolating and lonely time for you, but you are not alone in this. We want you to know that we are here as support to help you through this challenging time.
If you would like to talk more in detail please call or chat soon. Our contact information is 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929); www.1800runaway.org (click on the chat button).
We hope to hear from you soon.
Be safe and stay strong,
NRS
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Guest repliedSo I've been depressed ever since my middle school year started. I feel more and more suicidal every day and I don't know what to do anymore. My parents hate me, I get yelled at for the most stupidest reasons and I hate being home. I don't feel safe being home. I'm suicidal when I'm home because all they do is treat me like trash. They haven't been physically abusive in a while but definitely verbally. Im so close to committing suicide. So close. I don't want to be here anymore, please help me.
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Guest repliedim pretty sure what im going through is verbal abuse i get called **********es, whores etc i love my mom to death but im fed up i called cps before all they did was take me to my gmoms house for three months but then closed the case because they had no proof even tho i have cameras all over my house but they told me they would come to my house often to check up on me its been about 7 months since ive been back home and they didnt come yet i also deal with physical abuse the other day my mom broke a wooden broom over my head and pulled my hair hard that i got a balled spot this isnt her first time pulling my hair out and once she beats me up for no reason at all she takes my phone but tonight i plan on calling the cps and having them come back to my house because im fed up
im 13, a girl, and only in 8th grade this has been going on for about 4 years but it really got bad 2 years ago
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Hi,
Thank you for contacting the National Runaway Safeline, it takes a lot of courage to reach out and share your story. It must be really stressful to live at home in that situation.
You mentioned that your parents have been verbally abusing you. No one deserves to be treated that way. If you feel unsafe, we encourage you to reach out to 911 or seek emergency assistance immediately. You have every right to report any abuse that is happening in your home. If you feel like that’s an option you want to explore this website might be helpful: https://www.childhelp.org/child-abuse/. You can also give us a call and we can help you file a report if that’s the route you are considering. It might also be a good idea to explore options like staying with another family member or someone you trust.
At the end of your post, you mentioned that you have been self-harming and that you are feeling suicidal. It can be really hard to live with mental health struggles and we want you to know you are not alone in addressing them. If you’d like additional support, an organization that might be helpful is the National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI). You can contact them by calling 1-800-950- NAMI or text them by sending NAMI to 741741. Another agency that could be of great help is the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline. You can contact them by calling 1-800-273-TALK or go on their website suicidepreventionlifeline.org to use their chat feature.
If you’d like to go over what’s going on in depth or explore more options that might be available to you, don’t hesitate to call us at 1-800-RUNAWAY. You can also chat us by clicking the “CHAT” button at the top of our homepage. We are open 24/7 and here to listen and support you in any way we can.
Stay safe,
NRS
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Guest repliedso my real mom, and dad are always calling me names. my mom called me 'special ed' 'ugly ass' and what not. and my dad says ******** like 'lazy ass' 'trifling' and being toxic, constantly comparing me to my sibling, constantly pressuring me about a job when i'm only 14. putting even more stress on me, they make me feel bad about myself as if i don't already hate myself and wanna commit suicide, ive already tried many times anyways, ive already been self harming since 11, and its getting worse because of them. its like im the hated child in the house hold, always being yelled at, humiliated, denigrated, labeling, insulting, and unnecessary scolding. they honestly make me hate my life more, and i just wanna get out of here and get moved to another state.
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We’re glad you reached out to us. It seems like you’ve been through a lot and are feeling unsure and unsafe. It sounds like what’s been going on at home with your mom has been really difficult to get through, and we know you don’t deserve that type of treatment from her. We’re not able to give you direct advice or tell you what to do, however we can point you toward some resources that can help you advocate for yourself, such as the organization ChildHelp. They’re experts on figuring out abuse situations, and can help you out if you decide to make any calls. Here is a link to their text, chat, and phone call lines: https://childhelphotline.org/.
We hear you saying that the problems with your mom are driving you to suicidal feelings and actions, and we are so sorry this is happening to you. If your mental health is being impacted by your mom’s actions, you absolutely deserve the treatment and care you need, and it’s not okay that she stopped you from seeing your counselor. We have a couple of resources for self harm and suicide prevention that also have a chat service, so you can talk to someone who understands how you’re feeling in the moment:
And what people believe about suicide determines what people do about suicide prevention. If we as a community believe nothing can be done, nothing will be done. This is the first lie we tear down in honor of Suicide Prevention Month. Join us as we fight the myths and misinformation that have marked the conversation […]
You are not alone.
We’d be happy to discuss more options to help ensure your safety if you’d like. Please feel free to reach out to us at 1(800) RUNAWAY, or you can chat with one of our crisis counselors online at 1800runaway.org. Take care, and we hope to hear from you soon!
Sincerely,
NRS
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Guest repliedSo my mom does a lot of nice things for me and sometimes i feel like it's only to keep from trying to keep me at home. I live alone with her and my dad isn't able to be home. They fight over the phone often and my dad calls me to make it a burden on myself like I did something to make them fight. My mom is very strict and wont let me do anything out of the house then proceeds to yell at me for never going outside and doing things. When i was younger she laid hands on me but only stopped when a teacher made a report abut it then she told me to never talk about what happens at home because then someone would take me away from her. I feel like she is adding to my depression. recently I got into a fight with her about how she is toxic. She yelled at me at the top of her lungs and stopped my visits to my counselor. I have had many thoughts of suicide, self harm, and I have tried to commit which my mom got angry at me. I'm not old enough to get a job and i don't know if i can stay at a friends house or if my mom will call the cops on me. I'm also not sure if i can call anyone about this.
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Hello,
You mentioned some things that raise concern for your safety and well-being. If any harm or abuse is happening at home, you have the right to report it. We are not experts on the issue, but generally once it's been reported, social services will either decide whether or not to take the case and further investigate. If they do take the case, they will send out someone from child protective services to do an investigation (interviewing people in the household) and from there they will decide the level of danger within the household. It generally ranges from no danger (the youth stays in the home, some services are given, and the case is closed), moderate danger (they will provide family services with possible temporary displacement) and high danger (they will remove the youth from the home and offer certain services).
If you feel like this is an option you want to explore, you may find this website helpful: https://www.childhelp.org/child-abuse/. Their number is 800-422-4453. We can also help you to file a report if that’s the route you are considering.
Please be safe and reach out soon by phone or chat so that we may help since we can only respond to forums twice. Our number is 800-RUNAWAY or you can chat with us at www.1800RUNAWAY.org.
Take care,
NRS
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Guest repliedSo I chose to live with my father when me and my siblings weren't in the best house and cps got involved so I chose ny father I love him. he always got me stuff and I was so happy. then he started yelling at me everyday for stuff I didn't do or did that didn't fit his expectations. I was scared everyday he came home because he used to hit ny mom a long time ago and I was scared. he snapped and he hit me I couldn't believe it he said he never would I just wanted to dissappear. I got really depressed about everything my mom mostly I loved her so much when she left us I told him how I was feeling and he said "well I can't have you being like this its messing with your grades your going to have to do better" now hes keeping me away from my cousin and siblings I can't do it anymore I feel horrible everyday he keeps pushing me where I was self harming at one point he drinks everyday smokes to and was snorting pain killers. His girlfriend was trying to commit suicide in the house because he wanted to break up. Help me what should I do I can't live here anymore its hurting me so much I can't live like this. He's even gotten so drunk he said he was gonna get my aunt to pick me up and take me to New Mexico to live with her. Just help me I don't want to live like this.
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Hi there,
Thank you for reaching out to us, it sounds like things have been pretty tough at home you’re your mom. You mentioned experiencing emotional abuse which may be reportable against your mom. Please keep in mind you by no means deserve any type of abuse, emotional or otherwise. Unfortunately, emotional abuse is often harder to provide evidence for compared to physical abuse which is often what CPS relies on when conducting an abuse investigation. That said, we can’t be 100% sure what the outcome will be if your local CPS decides to open a case based on what you share. Sometimes CPS decides to remove minors from the home and other times they offer services such as family counseling or mediation instead. The only way to know the outcome might be to reach out to them directly and if you’re ready to do that we are here to help you through that process. Reaching out to Child Help USA at 1-800-422-4453 or www.childhelp.org may help to get a better understanding of what may happen before and after a report is made.
Your safety and well-being is important. If you are at risk of any danger or feeling unsafe, we encourage you to reach out to 911 or seek emergency assistance immediately. The National Suicide Prevention Lifeline 1-800-273-TALK (8255); www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org is also a great resource to reach out to in addition to our crisis services.
Often, having a safe space to share how you’re feeling may bring a variety of solutions previously not thought of. Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem. This may be an isolating and lonely time for you, but you are not alone in this. We want you to know that we are here as support to help you through this challenging time.
If you would like to talk more in detail please call or chat soon. Our contact information is 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929); www.1800runaway.org (click on the chat button).
We hope to hear from you soon.
Be safe and stay strong,
NRS
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Guest repliedIt doesn’t seem to be that bad for me but i feel as though it’s getting worse. my mom constantly yells at me and tells me this like “you don’t use your brain” or “i don’t need anymore” she’s also an alcoholic and that really messes with my anxiety and SH issues. She never asks how I am and been my family tried to help her with her alcoholism, but she never did it. She also slams my door and makes me feel like the victim. i’m sure this isn’t a bad case at all but it really effects me and I really don’t want to live with her anymore.
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Hi there,
Thank you for writing to us here at National Runaway Safeline (NRS). We understand it takes great courage to reach out, and we appreciate you sharing a little bit about what’s going on. We want you to know that we are here as support to help you through this challenging time with your mom. We can best help by phone or chat as NRS is unable to respond more than twice by email or bulletin for assistance. If you would like to talk more in detail and share more about how we can help specifically, please call or chat soon.
Our contact information is 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929); www.1800runaway.org (click on the chat button).
If you are at risk of any danger or feeling unsafe, we encourage you to reach out to 911 or seek emergency assistance immediately.
We hope to hear from you soon.
Be safe,
NRS
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Guest repliedI am a 16 year old girl turning 17 in 7 months. I currently live with my mom and her bf. Me and my mom do not get along. She is a recovered adict. And hasn’t been in charge of me sense I was 2. And last summer I moved in with her. But her and her bf would always fight. They still do. But because of all of the fighting that happend. I ran away for the summer. I had than moved back with my grandparents and had a rough start of the year. I had met some bad people and had a momentary impulsive decision to try and kill myself. I ended up in the hospital for 9 days and moved back to my moms on Christmas Day. Sense then I have been living with my mom again. While living with my mom, I have been put on depression and anxiety meds. But as the months have gone on it hansnt gotten better. I have been isolated and just like really depressed because I have not been allowed to leave my house to hangout with friends very often. About two weekends ago I finally got to see my bestfriend after 7 months. But when I am aloud to leave it’s only with family. Or the 3 times I have ever been allowed to hangout and be with people I get moody and upset answers. And most of the time the answers are for no reason. Like keeping my room clean. (Witch I make Shure is done every other day). Or like school work. I have troubles concentrating and staying focused or understanding things so it’s hard for me to learn sometimes so I get yelled at everyday about school work.and poor grades because I struggle and I have told her that. She is very bipolar and it makes me feel as if I am the one that ********ed up in the head or that something is wrong with me. Like she tells me to make friends but when I try to and ask her to meet them or have them come over to hangout no one is allowed here or I am not allowed to hangout. But when I tell my trusted family that she says I’m lying and that it’s not true. But everyone believes her because she is the parent. Living here has made me lose so much interest in things I used to love like music and singing. And school and just people in general. I dont even like to eat much anymore. And when I’m at home she always be like saying how when I wear no bra under a shirt and I’m developed that it’s not okay. Because her bf is in the house even though u can’t see threw my tee shirts in the slightest. It was really sexist and made me feel bad about myself. At this point idk what to do because it’s toxic here and I stick up for myself and what I believe in and this house and like the way my mom thinks makes me feel like I’m just a prisoner here.
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Hey there thank you for reaching out,
You mentioned experiencing emotional abuse which may be reportable against your adoptive mom. Please keep in mind you by no means deserve any type of abuse, emotional or otherwise. Unfortunately, emotional abuse is often harder to provide evidence for compared to physical abuse which is often what CPS relies on when conducting an abuse investigation. That said, we can’t be 100% sure what the outcome will be if your local CPS decides to open a case based on what you share. Sometimes CPS decides to remove minors from the home and other times they offer services such as family counseling or mediation instead. The only way to know the outcome might be to reach out to them directly and if you’re ready to do that we are here to help you through that process. Reaching out to Child Help USA at 1-800-422-4453 or www.childhelp.org may help to get a better understanding of what may happen before and after a report is made.
Often, having a safe space to share how you’re feeling may bring a variety of solutions previously not thought of. You are not alone in this. We want you to know that we are here as support to help you through this challenging time.
If you would like to talk more in detail please chat soon through our website www.1800runaway.org (click on the chat button) if you are unable to call in. We unfortunately cannot give advice as we are non-directive. You know your situation best
We hope to hear from you soon.
Be safe,
NRS
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