Can/Should i call CPS for verbal abuse? Or is this even verbal abuse??

[ccsmod10]

im still not quite too sure if im being abused or not or emotionally neglected in any shape way or form. it all started when i was a little girl around my toddler age with my biological dad. He was an alcoholic. He'd come home from work really drunk. He would throw my moms pills down the toilets Would chase me and my mom around the house with wood. Has tried to literally kill me before. I was introduced with the police at a very young age which i don't prefer to be a good thing.

After my Biological Father Moved out:

- things started to calm down staying in the chill zone. We were a nice, happy family because thats when my brother came into the picture and she didn't want my brother to go through what me and her went through. Then my mom met this guy named we are going to call him Dave. (NOT HIS REAL NAME) - Dave and my mom got along REALLY well. At first, he was this or he sounded / made it out to be a really kind, sweet person that really is a raging bi**h behind the scenes. It took him about a year before it all started. One day, i had a soccer game and i was at my friends house. i asked my mom if it was ok for me to go and she said that it was fine so i went, obviously. 3 hours later my stepdad is in the drveway, getting out of the car knocking on the door and being what i thought he was a genuine nice human being. We left the house ( i was 7 years old at the time ) he immediately started yelling at me saying we are going to be late etc, and it for whatever reason idk how but it got to the point where he literally slapped me on the leg and left a mark. I didn't tell my mom about it till we got to the game. She tends to remember what she wants to remember so the whole time it was her yelling at me in the car saying that i never asked to go to my friends house when i literally did and i finally was like "yes u said i could go, but u dont even care because if u cared you would know that your just so perfect boyfriend hit me and left a mark on my leg" she didnt really seem like she cared or anything but said she would talk to him about it and so i said ok whatever sure. you can call it a grudge but it only escalated from there far much more worse. He would yell at me for literally the stupidest reasons. We were learning clocks in math class at school and i didnt understand it whatsoever. I was literally sleep deprived the whole day the next day bcs my parents didn't let me go to sleep until i got it correct and even then the were telling e it was wrong when in reality he VERY FIRST TIME i gave them my hw. none of my answers were wrong to begin with , i only found that out bcs my teacher and i went through it together. I went home and told my parents and they didn't even seem to care.

Most recently my stepdad had just cheated on my mom with this other girl and has moved out but still gives his daily yell at Kailyn sessions every now and then for literally no reason. It started to rub off onto my mom, and hen rub off onto my brother but ofc its my fault my brother acts the way he does. im the "role-model" when ive been nothing but nice to my brother even after he continued to snitch on me, get me in trouble, etc. im not even allowed to have a phone. i used to, but not anymore because the last time i did i tried getting help. so i just sneak one anyways and then i get caught but whatever. My mom yells at me abt my grades when most of it is also her fault. she takes my chromebook away right when i get home and yk is like always digital now so i cant really do anything about it. im so stressed at school trying to catch up as much as i can on a daily basis and my home life just is like pounds on top of pounds on top of pounds of more stress coming my way. is like non-stop. it never stops. its never ending and it just continues. my mom pulls my hair. she slaps me. she threatens me. she says stuff like "youre a whore" "you're a **********" "at least i have a family who cares about me" "I hate you" "I wish you were never born" "if i had a time machine i'd go back and change my mind about having kids" etc. I've told cps numerous amounts of times but its like they don't care because its always unfounded, same with police its always a closed case. ive told almost literally everyone i know and nobody but my best friend understands me, and cares enough to help which i dont know how much thats helping. There isn't a day where my mom isn't yelling at me on a daily basis. It's gotten to the point where i want to start doing drugs, i want to literally commit suicide but my mom doesn't care because they are all just "excuses" right? nothing but "excuses" She always tells me that i dont have it that bad and other kids have it worse. which is probably true but gives her no right to treat me the way she does. im just super scared and not too sure what to do anymore. ive completely lost hope.

We're really thankful that you reached out to us for help. You 100% do not deserve to be treated the way you've been treated. We are here for you 24/7, are on your side, and will do whatever we can to help.

It sounds like your relationship with your mom and your life at home has had a lot of stress building up over a very long period of time, and little relief. It sounds like you've had things blamed on you that were not your fault, and when you have tried to make situations better for yourself you have been punished, or told that your feelings aren't deserved. Your feelings are 100% valid, and we're glad you've been so honest about your experience.

First, this is the phone number and website for the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline. If your feelings about wanting to commit suicide get worse, you can contact them 24/7 to talk through what's going on. Their phone number is 1-800-273-TALK, and their website to live chat is https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org/chat.

I know you mentioned you have contacted police and CPS before, but if you would like to do so with someone else as an ally, we can do so with you. You can call us (1-800-RUNAWAY) or live chat us (1800runaway.org) and talk with us about what's been going on, and we can call CPS on your behalf or with you to file a report. It may seem hopeless, but more reports makes it more likely they will take action.

You mentioned thinking of taking drugs to make things easier. Some people do choose to try using drugs to cope, but there are lots of other coping tools available too. Talking to someone you can trust is one, and a list of other possibilities is available here: https://www.firstpersonplural.org.uk...-self-harm.pdf
If you are thinking of using drugs you haven't used before, please be aware of some risk factors, including unintended harm to your body or facing criminal charges. We are not telling you what you should or should not do, but whatever you do, we want you to plan ahead and do so as safely as possible.

You voiced that you weren't sure if this was verbal abuse. Based on what you've said, it sounds like you are receiving verbal/emotional abuse, which shouldn't be happening to you. Even if you don't want to make another report about it, talking about it with someone like us, or a school counselor can help. You don't need to experience this alone. Reach out any time 24/7.

[Guest]

This is her mother. First I love my daughter very much as does my ex. We do everything in our power to try to help her. My daughter was sending naked pictures of herself to anyone who would ask for them. she also was making up stories full of lies and sending them to strangers. when i discovered what she was using her phone and computer for she got them taken from her and that made her quite mad. She has done this kind of stuff multiple times. She fabricates these stories everytime she gets her phone taken that she breaks into my room to steal. To tell you the truth, this breaks my heart and I don't know what to do anymore. She has gotten CPS involve about 7 or 8 times. I also have a 12 year old son who CPA interviews as well and he tells them whats really going on which is the complete opposite of what my daughter says. I love both of my kids very much and only wants whats best for them and my daughter is heading down a path that is not good and i worry a great deal. Neither of my kids have been abused a day in there life. Ive tried many different ways to help her and none of them work, and I am at a loss as to what to do. Im afraid I;m going to lose her the further she goes down a bad path with some kids that aren't necessarily good influences. Im glad she has resources to reach out to but when shes not telling the truth at all im not sure how she can get the help she needs.


Thank you,

her mom

[ccsmod7]

Hi, thank you for reaching out to NRS!

It sounds like your relationship with your daughter is experiencing a lot of strain and things have been quite stressful. It is clear how much you care for your daughter and how concerned you are about her. It takes a lot of strength to be in your position, and it is clear that you love and care about her very much. Perhaps speaking with one of her friends that you approve of could be helpful. Unfortunately, teens sometimes have more of an interest in what their friends say rather than hearing the same concerns from their parents. Having another member of your family who is close to your daughter could be another option. Likewise a therapist can give you both a space to have open and honest conversation. Sometimes having someone there to mediate could be of help. Another idea is to write a letter to your daughter about how you feel and give you a way to directly express how concerned you are about her.

We hope these ideas help, and we are available 24/7. Our contact information is 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929); www.1800runaway.org (click on the chat button). Stay strong, and be proud of how attentive of a parent you are!

NRS

[Guest]

i’m really worried about my best friend. she lives with her mom, step dad, and their two little kids. she’s 15 almost 16, and her dad lives in another state. i’m not exactly sure what went down with her parents and how her mom came about having custody, but she’s being emotionally abused by her step dad. she’s constantly texting me and saying he’s yelling calling her lazy, a screw up, she can’t do anything right, she’s a f*****g failure and so on. it’s taking a huge toll on her mental health. she’s not eating so she’s only 95 lbs, she’s drinking, vaping and has tried to kill herself twice in the last year. she sent me a video she took in secret of him screaming at her. her step dad is a jerk as a person, but isn’t nearly as bad in public. although he makes fun of and belittles her in front of me and her other friends and family. he doesn’t act this way towards his two kids, but he’s awful to her and quite frankly her mom too. her mom appears to be too scared of him to say or do anything, and she relies on him financially as well. she doesn’t sleep, doesn’t eat, and is majorly depressed. i want to do something but i’m not sure how to approach this without her step dad going off on her for telling someone.

[ccsmod3]

Hi there, thank you for reaching out on behalf of your friend. It sounds like your friend has been dealing with verbal abuse from her stepdad and even her mom. She absolutely does not deserve to be spoken to this way. It sounds like you care very much about her and can notice how this is taking a toll on her mental health. Is it possible for your friend to see a mental health professional who can help her through this and help with the possible eating disorder that it sounds like you are concerned about? One option with abuse is to make a report to child protective services, but we understand wanting to be careful with how to approach this to maybe help her step dad not get as mad. If you or your friend would like to reach out again and discuss this further, please call our hotline 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or chat us online at 1800runaway.org. We hope to hear from you soon.
NRS

[Guest]

I am 14. My parents have been emotionally and verbally abusive for years.
Many of the things listed above have happened to me also.
Earlier this year I went to the school counselor and told him what was happening. He called child services to see if they would help me. They didn't. I went through sleepless nights, panic attacks, depression and anxiety all by myself and still am. I was put into a foster home for 3 months and then thrown back into my abusive household without any care in the world from them. The thing about child protective services is they don't do anything for emotional, verbal or mental abuse. They really only care about physical abuse. Emotional abuse is just as bad and just as hurtful as physical abuse and It can affect the brain in ways that sometimes never go away. The only hope I have is to wait until I'm 18 to make my get away. I do hope that whoever is going through this same situation knows that you aren't alone. And that you are stronger than you think. Stay strong, Don't let them get to you, you are amazing and you ARE worth it, don't let them tell you otherwise.

[ccsmod10]

Thank you for sharing these powerful words of encouragement. It takes a lot of courage to go through such adversity, and even more to share that vulnerability to assist others. Regarding your home situation, please don’t feel as though you have no support until you are 18. We are here as a resource to assist you as best as we can, no matter your age. Our phone line operates 24/7 and you have the option to either call us at 1800runaway (786-2929) or via live chat straight from your computer or smartphone at 1800runaway.org. We are always here to help with the adversity and hardship you are facing. Thank you again for this post.

[Guest]

I have been dealing with my father's verbal abuse as well for a little over 2 years and it does not see to be getting better I have tried to do everything legally and law enforcement has done nothing about it and my parents make up stories and say I'm crazy. I get shamed by my parents about how much I weigh, how I look, and sometimes even how I talk. I feel alone in my family and I'm constantly getting the short end of the stick to where my parents don't even pay for my food at school. I get yelled at every time I am around my parents just because they feel like it. I don't know what to do at this point and have just been thinking about ending it all before my real life has been begun. I get told daily that I'm going nowhere in my life and that I should just drop dead and it would help every one on this earth. I'm hoping that by this time next year I won't be with my parents anymore and that they don't start to do the same to my little sister. To anyone else who has to go through this I am really sorry don't know if it gets better honestly because I haven't gotten that far but just be yourself and don't let your parents win.
love, a mysterious nobody

[ccsmod11]

(If you feel you are in danger for any reason, please call the police or go to your local emergency room.)

Hi there,
You're very brave to reach out for help. You should feel really proud that you're advocating for yourself, and you seem like a really great person to tell others to just be themselves. That's great advice! Nobody deserves to be spoken to the way you say your father speaks to you, and we're sorry you're going through this. Your thoughts of wanting to end it all are really scary, and we want to make sure you are able to stay as safe as possible. The number for the National Suicide Lifeline is 988 and they are available 24/7. Please also feel free to reach out to us via our 24 hour hotline at 1800RUNAWAY (1-800-786-2929) or visit our website to chat with us directly. We want to get to know your story a little better and provide you with guidance that might be a little more relevant to your situation.
Best of luck!
NRS

[Guest]

I dont know what to do any more, i feel like i should run away. My mom .has been so toxic to me, shes made fun of my weight, my looks, my style. I love her so much and i could never really mean i hate her. i wish she'd understand what im going through, she is so controlling and says stuff like "parents arent supposed to be there kids friends" i know what shes doing is bad and yet im scared if i tell anyone i know they'll call CPS but im not afraid ill get taken away i want to get out of this stupid house were no one cares for me im scared my parents will get mad at me. I just am so scared to be in this house, shes been threatening me about my ROOM, who would threaten there kid if they dont clean their room you'd physically harm them? my mom. i know its dumb to rant about this but the only reason i dont clean my room is because of my depression i have because all those times she'd say something about my body. i never have energy, my mom saying stuff abut my body is so bad i've now look at how much calories im eating a day! i try to keep it under 800 a day, i hate myself and its all her fault and yet i still love her so much. my mom is the main reason i hate my home, my dad is never there for me emotionly, yeah i have a dad but we rarely talk, im 12 and i rember many things from when i was 8 and crying and my dad phsically harming me. i know im so damn young and im turning 13 next month and yet i know the stuff their doing is wrong, i feel unsafe. I would 100% talk to a councler or someone but im scared, im so so so scared my parent will get mad at me. i just really wanna run away and not talk to my parents about it. i feel like my life is the worst but at the same time i know people have it worser then me and i should be lucky to have parents and a room to myself. at least thats what my mom says. im just scared of my parents. and the thought of one day my mom could snap and harm me. Im conflicted, i dont know if i should run away or i should deal with it until im 17? im starting 8th grade in 2 months and i wanna spend this last school year with my friends but at the same time i dont know what will happen during summer break. i might just run away if i can and hope to god ill be able to see my friends again.

[ccsmod15]

We are glad you reached out to us for help. It is very overwhelming to live in a house where you are scared all the time. We understand that you see your choices as running away or sticking it out until you are 17. It may be difficult to figure out what you think is best for yourself right now and we would like to help you come up with a plan. After you figure out your plan, we can help you find resources to support you. We can do all this confidentially.

Another option would be reaching out to www.childhelp.org who specialize in child abuse and exploring your options there as well.

While you did provide many details in your post, we would like to get more details on your specific situation to work out the plan that is best for you and next steps. You can start that by reaching out to us on a chat through our website or on our crisis hotline at 1 (800) RUNAWAY. Both are available 24/7 and both are confidential.

We hope to hear from you soon.

NRS

[Guest]

I'm 13 (almost 14), a male and in a very tough situation with my parents. I am originally from Russia (unfortunately) but i ived in Latvia with my parents for over 8 years. They are verbally and emotionally abusive (sometimes even physically). When I do something wrong or make a stupid mistake, they use sarcasm, degrade me, call me names and humiliate me. They call me a burden, say that I'm a waste of their time and money. Sometimes if they are super done with me they shove me into my room, slap me and hit me (no bruises, no scars which makes it even harder to prove). My entire family never accepted my gender identity (my grandma is transphobic and when I told her I am a boy she said she's afraid of me) and my parents even made fun of it several times (I am born female but identify as male).

Lately, everything has become too much to handle. I tried to reach out to several people (yes, child protection included) for help but in the end they did not help and I got in trouble with my parents for complaining. I know I can't stay at home, but I have no one to run to. My extended family is in Russia but I don't want to go to that country, no one can make me go to that aggressive country, I don't have friends who I can stay with and my school is online so teachers can't help.

Things are really bad. I can't take it anymore and I'm thinking of running away. Should I?

NOTE: REACHING OUT TO HELP SERVICES IS USELESS I TRIED NOTHING HELPS PLS PLS PLS HELP ME!!!! THE STREETS EVEN SEEM BETTER THAN HOME AT THIS POINT

[ccsmod14]

Hi, thank you for reaching out to the National Runaway Safeline. It is very brave of you sharing your experience and reaching out for help. NRS is sorry to hear out the unfortunate things you are experiencing. It seems that you have done all that you can to help yourself and reaching out to CPS was a great idea, but it seems it wasn't of any help. NRS will like to provide you with the following resources that can better assist you in providing you with safety and protection. NRS are not leagl experts and unsure about the runaway laws in other countries, therefore NRS is unable to answer your question on should you run away or not. The following resources can better assist you:

211 United Way Worldwide (Just Dial 211)

http://www.211.org/

Child Helpline International
[email protected]


NRS want you to know that we are here as support to help you through this challenging time. We can best help by phone or chat as NRS is unable to respond more than twice by email or bulletin for assistance. If you would like to talk more in detail and share more about how we can help specifically, please contact our 24/7 crisis support line either by phone or chat.




Our contact information is 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929); www.1800runaway.org (click on the chat button).



If you are at risk of any danger or feeling unsafe, we encourage you to reach out to 911 or seek emergency assistance immediately.



We hope to hear from you soon.



Be safe,

NRS