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Can/Should i call CPS for verbal abuse? Or is this even verbal abuse??

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  • #16
    Originally posted by Guest View Post
    im still not quite too sure if im being abused or not or emotionally neglected in any shape way or form. it all started when i was a little girl around my toddler age with my biological dad. He was an alcoholic. He'd come home from work really drunk. He would throw my moms pills down the toilets Would chase me and my mom around the house with wood. Has tried to literally kill me before. I was introduced with the police at a very young age which i don't prefer to be a good thing.

    After my Biological Father Moved out:

    - things started to calm down staying in the chill zone. We were a nice, happy family because thats when my brother came into the picture and she didn't want my brother to go through what me and her went through. Then my mom met this guy named we are going to call him Dave. (NOT HIS REAL NAME) - Dave and my mom got along REALLY well. At first, he was this or he sounded / made it out to be a really kind, sweet person that really is a raging bi**h behind the scenes. It took him about a year before it all started. One day, i had a soccer game and i was at my friends house. i asked my mom if it was ok for me to go and she said that it was fine so i went, obviously. 3 hours later my stepdad is in the drveway, getting out of the car knocking on the door and being what i thought he was a genuine nice human being. We left the house ( i was 7 years old at the time ) he immediately started yelling at me saying we are going to be late etc, and it for whatever reason idk how but it got to the point where he literally slapped me on the leg and left a mark. I didn't tell my mom about it till we got to the game. She tends to remember what she wants to remember so the whole time it was her yelling at me in the car saying that i never asked to go to my friends house when i literally did and i finally was like "yes u said i could go, but u dont even care because if u cared you would know that your just so perfect boyfriend hit me and left a mark on my leg" she didnt really seem like she cared or anything but said she would talk to him about it and so i said ok whatever sure. you can call it a grudge but it only escalated from there far much more worse. He would yell at me for literally the stupidest reasons. We were learning clocks in math class at school and i didnt understand it whatsoever. I was literally sleep deprived the whole day the next day bcs my parents didn't let me go to sleep until i got it correct and even then the were telling e it was wrong when in reality he VERY FIRST TIME i gave them my hw. none of my answers were wrong to begin with , i only found that out bcs my teacher and i went through it together. I went home and told my parents and they didn't even seem to care.

    Most recently my stepdad had just cheated on my mom with this other girl and has moved out but still gives his daily yell at Kailyn sessions every now and then for literally no reason. It started to rub off onto my mom, and hen rub off onto my brother but ofc its my fault my brother acts the way he does. im the "role-model" when ive been nothing but nice to my brother even after he continued to snitch on me, get me in trouble, etc. im not even allowed to have a phone. i used to, but not anymore because the last time i did i tried getting help. so i just sneak one anyways and then i get caught but whatever. My mom yells at me abt my grades when most of it is also her fault. she takes my chromebook away right when i get home and yk is like always digital now so i cant really do anything about it. im so stressed at school trying to catch up as much as i can on a daily basis and my home life just is like pounds on top of pounds on top of pounds of more stress coming my way. is like non-stop. it never stops. its never ending and it just continues. my mom pulls my hair. she slaps me. she threatens me. she says stuff like "youre a whore" "you're a **********" "at least i have a family who cares about me" "I hate you" "I wish you were never born" "if i had a time machine i'd go back and change my mind about having kids" etc. I've told cps numerous amounts of times but its like they don't care because its always unfounded, same with police its always a closed case. ive told almost literally everyone i know and nobody but my best friend understands me, and cares enough to help which i dont know how much thats helping. There isn't a day where my mom isn't yelling at me on a daily basis. It's gotten to the point where i want to start doing drugs, i want to literally commit suicide but my mom doesn't care because they are all just "excuses" right? nothing but "excuses" She always tells me that i dont have it that bad and other kids have it worse. which is probably true but gives her no right to treat me the way she does. im just super scared and not too sure what to do anymore. ive completely lost hope.
    We're really thankful that you reached out to us for help. You 100% do not deserve to be treated the way you've been treated. We are here for you 24/7, are on your side, and will do whatever we can to help.

    It sounds like your relationship with your mom and your life at home has had a lot of stress building up over a very long period of time, and little relief. It sounds like you've had things blamed on you that were not your fault, and when you have tried to make situations better for yourself you have been punished, or told that your feelings aren't deserved. Your feelings are 100% valid, and we're glad you've been so honest about your experience.

    First, this is the phone number and website for the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline. If your feelings about wanting to commit suicide get worse, you can contact them 24/7 to talk through what's going on. Their phone number is 1-800-273-TALK, and their website to live chat is https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org/chat.

    I know you mentioned you have contacted police and CPS before, but if you would like to do so with someone else as an ally, we can do so with you. You can call us (1-800-RUNAWAY) or live chat us (1800runaway.org) and talk with us about what's been going on, and we can call CPS on your behalf or with you to file a report. It may seem hopeless, but more reports makes it more likely they will take action.

    You mentioned thinking of taking drugs to make things easier. Some people do choose to try using drugs to cope, but there are lots of other coping tools available too. Talking to someone you can trust is one, and a list of other possibilities is available here: https://www.firstpersonplural.org.uk...-self-harm.pdf
    If you are thinking of using drugs you haven't used before, please be aware of some risk factors, including unintended harm to your body or facing criminal charges. We are not telling you what you should or should not do, but whatever you do, we want you to plan ahead and do so as safely as possible.

    You voiced that you weren't sure if this was verbal abuse. Based on what you've said, it sounds like you are receiving verbal/emotional abuse, which shouldn't be happening to you. Even if you don't want to make another report about it, talking about it with someone like us, or a school counselor can help. You don't need to experience this alone. Reach out any time 24/7.
    Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

    National Runaway Safeline
    [email protected] (Crisis Email)
    1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)

    Tell us what you think about your experience!
    https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/YourOpinionMattersToUs

    Comment


    • #17
      This is her mother. First I love my daughter very much as does my ex. We do everything in our power to try to help her. My daughter was sending naked pictures of herself to anyone who would ask for them. she also was making up stories full of lies and sending them to strangers. when i discovered what she was using her phone and computer for she got them taken from her and that made her quite mad. She has done this kind of stuff multiple times. She fabricates these stories everytime she gets her phone taken that she breaks into my room to steal. To tell you the truth, this breaks my heart and I don't know what to do anymore. She has gotten CPS involve about 7 or 8 times. I also have a 12 year old son who CPA interviews as well and he tells them whats really going on which is the complete opposite of what my daughter says. I love both of my kids very much and only wants whats best for them and my daughter is heading down a path that is not good and i worry a great deal. Neither of my kids have been abused a day in there life. Ive tried many different ways to help her and none of them work, and I am at a loss as to what to do. Im afraid I;m going to lose her the further she goes down a bad path with some kids that aren't necessarily good influences. Im glad she has resources to reach out to but when shes not telling the truth at all im not sure how she can get the help she needs.


      Thank you,

      her mom

      Comment


      • ccsmod7
        ccsmod7 commented
        Editing a comment
        Hi, thank you for reaching out to NRS!

        It sounds like your relationship with your daughter is experiencing a lot of strain and things have been quite stressful. It is clear how much you care for your daughter and how concerned you are about her. It takes a lot of strength to be in your position, and it is clear that you love and care about her very much. Perhaps speaking with one of her friends that you approve of could be helpful. Unfortunately, teens sometimes have more of an interest in what their friends say rather than hearing the same concerns from their parents. Having another member of your family who is close to your daughter could be another option. Likewise a therapist can give you both a space to have open and honest conversation. Sometimes having someone there to mediate could be of help. Another idea is to write a letter to your daughter about how you feel and give you a way to directly express how concerned you are about her.

        We hope these ideas help, and we are available 24/7. Our contact information is 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929); www.1800runaway.org (click on the chat button). Stay strong, and be proud of how attentive of a parent you are!

        NRS

    • #18
      i’m really worried about my best friend. she lives with her mom, step dad, and their two little kids. she’s 15 almost 16, and her dad lives in another state. i’m not exactly sure what went down with her parents and how her mom came about having custody, but she’s being emotionally abused by her step dad. she’s constantly texting me and saying he’s yelling calling her lazy, a screw up, she can’t do anything right, she’s a f*****g failure and so on. it’s taking a huge toll on her mental health. she’s not eating so she’s only 95 lbs, she’s drinking, vaping and has tried to kill herself twice in the last year. she sent me a video she took in secret of him screaming at her. her step dad is a jerk as a person, but isn’t nearly as bad in public. although he makes fun of and belittles her in front of me and her other friends and family. he doesn’t act this way towards his two kids, but he’s awful to her and quite frankly her mom too. her mom appears to be too scared of him to say or do anything, and she relies on him financially as well. she doesn’t sleep, doesn’t eat, and is majorly depressed. i want to do something but i’m not sure how to approach this without her step dad going off on her for telling someone.

      Comment


      • ccsmod3
        ccsmod3 commented
        Editing a comment
        Hi there, thank you for reaching out on behalf of your friend. It sounds like your friend has been dealing with verbal abuse from her stepdad and even her mom. She absolutely does not deserve to be spoken to this way. It sounds like you care very much about her and can notice how this is taking a toll on her mental health. Is it possible for your friend to see a mental health professional who can help her through this and help with the possible eating disorder that it sounds like you are concerned about? One option with abuse is to make a report to child protective services, but we understand wanting to be careful with how to approach this to maybe help her step dad not get as mad. If you or your friend would like to reach out again and discuss this further, please call our hotline 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or chat us online at 1800runaway.org. We hope to hear from you soon.
        NRS
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