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Can/Should i call CPS for verbal abuse? Or is this even verbal abuse??

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  • Can/Should i call CPS for verbal abuse? Or is this even verbal abuse??

    Honestly I have no idea what to do at this point. Nearly everyday when I wake up I get yelled at by my dad, when I get home (this is everyday) i get yelled at. Before or after dinner (most days) I get yelled at. At least twice, if not more, a day I get yelled at by my dad or mom. Mostly my dad, he is constantly yelling at me for completely stupid reasons. It usually starts off with my poor grades in school, which I may add are mostly his fault, and then turns into something else. He yells at me for random stuff, like how I look, my friends, my hobbies, what clothes I wear. Ive been told on multiple occasions that I didn't deserve to be born, or I was a "F*** up"

    In public or around other people he acts perfect, and everybody thinks he is. He went to two ivy league schools so everyone thinks he's amazing and knows everything. He constantly holds that over my head. But when he, myself, and my mother are alone he is a completely different person.

    Ive been depressed for 3 years, self harming for all of them. He is a HUGE part of it. I already hate myself, how I look, etc. And he only backs that up. Lately i've been seriously considering suicide. And lately, he has been getting worse. He used to hit me, not badly but a bit. A few days ago he didn't exactly hit me but he grabbed me. Im self harming more than ever, I used to drink and take pills a lot. Just to take my mind off of everything. Sounds bad enough and when you add in the cutting and starving myself its pretty bad. Lately the cutting has been worse and I'm back to drinking, partly because of him.

    He and my mom are fighting worse as well, I, call me a bad person, honestly don't care if they get a divorce. Frankly I want them to, it would give me just another reason to be depressed. But I'm worried that my mom is starting or will starting doing something dumb. When they get in a fight, which normally starts with him fighting with me, she'll just disappear for most of the day. Im really worried.

    I don't want to call CPS, or call/report it to anyone yet. Yet. But its at the point where I don't feel safe anywhere because I feel that if I do anything ill get in trouble for it. I have friends helping me through this, but, I honestly don't know how much they can help.

    So yea, Im 13, and have no clue what to do... I just need help, thanks.

  • #2
    re: Can/Should i call CPS for verbal abuse? Or is this even verbal abuse??

    Hello,

    You seem to be having a tough time with your dad at home, being verbally abusive with you and sometimes even physical. It sounds like his actions are really affecting you to the point that you are using drugs and having thoughts of harming yourself. You shouldn't have to deal with all of that. You're really strong for reaching out for help. It could be helpful to call or chat with the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline when you are feeling like this. They are available via chat on their website or by phone at 1-800-273-8255.

    As far as with identifying what you are going through, we recommend you call Child Help USA at 1-800-422-4453. They are a resource for youth who are dealing with abuse. They could try and give you ways to identify what is happening with you and what you can do to stay safe. They may not be able to tell you directly what you should do, but they are a great source of information and planning. Child Help USA does have a website as well if you want to take a look at it. If there is anything else we can help with, feel free to call or chat with us anytime.

    Take care,
    NRS
    Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

    National Runaway Safeline
    [email protected] (Crisis Email)
    1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)

    Tell us what you think about your experience!
    https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/YourOpinionMattersToUs

    Comment


    • #3
      My situation is not as bad as the last person who wrote seems, but I am still unsure of what I should do. I have been depressed for 3 years and am finally starting to recover. I thought it was caused mainly by circumstance of my life. For example, I moved 3 times in fourth grade to 3 different states. But lately I have been thinking maybe the reason I have been so depressed for so long is because of my parents more than I originally thought. My parents are both out of work right now. My mom has been out of work for about a year and my dad has been out of work for 3 years. We live with my grandparents on my dad’s side and it can be rough. Recently my dad told me I was a bad person and didn’t deserve to have my drivers license due to a response I made after he made a very racist comment about a person who gave him warm coke a cola. He hadn’t even seen the person. I reacted to this because I was disgusted in his comment. He freaked out. My mom told me she was not and never would be on my side. Which made me feel even worse. I feel like I have been verbally abused at times. And once my dad put me in a choke hold and grabbed my arm hard. This has been a shock to me because I have never paid attention to his behavior like that before. And he has never acted quite like this before. Conditions seem to be getting worse and worse. Long story short, I don’t feel very safe anymore in this house. I don’t want to call a hotline because I’m not sure if I have enough reason to. When I am with my parents, a lot of the time they make me feel like crap. I am an only child and they have always tried to put me in a box. But right now I don’t even feel like they want me to succeed. I’m 16 and I thought I might just have to wait till 18 to be free but I don’t know if I can make a way to leave for myself when I am 18. What if I can’t make enough money before then to survive on my own? Then there is college. But am I just completely overreacting about all of it? Am I actually a bad person? I really don’t think I am but it does not help with my dad drilling it into me. What should I do?

      Comment


      • ccsmod1
        ccsmod1 commented
        Editing a comment
        Hey there,

        Thanks so much for contacting us, it takes a lot of courage to reach out and share your story. It must be really hard to live in a home with so much tension - you are not a bad person.
        Running away is a big decision and it can be very stressful to figure out what you want to do.

        You mentioned that your dad has previously choked you and grabbed you. Absolutely no one deserves to be abused. If you are at risk of any danger or feeling unsafe, we encourage you to reach out to 911 or seek emergency assistance immediately. If any harm or abuse is happening at home, you have the right to report it. If you feel like this is an option you want to explore, you may find this website helpful: https://www.childhelp.org/child-abuse/. We can also help you to file a report if that’s the route you are considering. It may also be a good idea to explore options for staying with another family member or someone you trust as far as transferring custody.

        At the beginning of your post, you sais that you have been depressed for the past 3 years. It can be really hard to live with mental health issues and we want you to know that you aren’t alone in addressing them. If you’d like some additional support, an organization that may be helpful is the National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI). You can contact them by calling 1-800-950-NAMI or you can text them by sending NAMI to 741741. Another agency that could be of great help is the Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration (SAMHSA), they can help you locate low or no cost mental health care providers in your area. Their number is 1-877-726-4727 or you can go to their site at samhsa.gov.

        If you’d like to go over what’s going on in depth, or if you’d like to explore other options that you may have available to you, please don’t hesitate to call us at 1-800-RUNAWAY. You can also chat us by clicking on the “CHAT” button on top of our homepage. We’re open 24/7 and here to listen and support you in any way we can.

        Stay safe,
        NRS

    • #4
      I have a question so I wanted to know if you think I should call someone about it but pretty much my friend has autism and her parents sound like they hate her and verbally abuse her every day. They say things like “your a b****” “I hate you” “your fat” “your lazy and a worthless piece of s***” and so on and every time her soon to be adopted brother does something wrong she gets yelled at for it. And recently her moms cousin died and my friend is really upset and mourning and tried to talk to her parents but they tell her she needs to the f*** up about it because it was her second cousins fault he died and she needs to stop obsessing over it. And her dog died to and when she gets upset about it and tries to talk about it her parents tell her to stop talk out of her a** and when my friend tries to talk to her dad or love him he pushes her away and says so you think you can walk in here right after having an attitude (when she didn’t have an attitude) and act all innocent. Her parents talk crap on her all the time to me especially if front of her they tell me how she’s so spoiled and she is a b**** and I really want to help and call someone because she is always calling me crying and telling me how mean her parents are. Nothing physical has every happened but they are super verbally abusive towards her.

      Comment


      • ccsmod0
        ccsmod0 commented
        Editing a comment
        Hey there,

        We are so sorry your friend is going through that with her parents, and she is lucky that you care so much about her that you want to try and help. Sometimes the best support is just to be there. We want to provide some resources your friend might find helpful if she feels ready to talk to someone about how she is being treated by her parents. She can always reach out to us through our chat or our phone line. There is also another organization that provides crisis assistance through text, and they can be reached by texting "NAMI" to 741741.

        In regard to the verbal abuse you mentioned... Unfortunately, emotional abuse is often harder to provide evidence for compared to physical abuse which is often what CPS relies on when conducting an abuse investigation. That said, we can’t be 100% sure what the outcome will be if your local CPS decides to open a case based on what she shares. Sometimes CPS decides to remove minors from the home and other times they offer services such as family counseling or mediation instead. The only way to know the outcome might be to reach out to them directly and if she's ready to do that we are here to help her through that process. Reaching out to Child Help USA at 1-800-422-4453 or www.childhelp.org may help to get a better understanding of what may happen before and after a report is made.

        Our contact information is 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929); www.1800runaway.org (click on the chat button).

        If she is at risk of any danger or feeling unsafe, we encourage her to reach out to 911 or seek emergency assistance immediately.

        Be safe,
        NRS
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