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I Dont know what to title this...

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  • I Dont know what to title this...

    The following can be summed up into one sentence that I HATE to admit...I'm tired of my parents. I love them a lot, but I feel claustrophobic. I'm 16 and I'm going to be a senior in high school this upcoming school year. I'm an only child and I feel like I have to always tell my parents what they want to hear. Sometimes when they notice I'm upset they call an 'open floor' where I can 'express' my concerns. I never do. Anytime I'm not in school, I'm at home inside the house because I'm not allowed to go outside. A lot of times I'd rather be at school than at home because I get so bored and I guess, I don't know...depressed. My mom had a really rough childhood growing up, and my dad's marriage to my mom is his third. He's 71 and he has degenerative arthritis. Back before he retired a few years back, he was so active and wanted to do everything with my mom and I. He didn't make excuses. He was always up and left for work at 4:30 on the dot and I woke up to wave him off. Now that he's retired, all he ever wants to do is watch TV and occasionally use the bathroom. I've got to pick up the slack more and more lately. He thinks he knows it all and he thinks that the whole family has to revolve around him in his time. To help with his degenerative arthritis, my mom and I try to encourage him to walk, but he gets angry and insists on just doing his squats every morning. Every time I hesitate to do something just for a little bit because I'm in the middle of something, he gets mad and threatens me with his belt. He hasn't actually spanked me in years because I have always found a way to get out of it. I think I'm a good kid; I try my best to follow the Bible even though a lot of times I screw up. My parents now get more suspicious of me and think that I always have an attitude. God help me if I do have one. I have to try really hard to hide it and lie about it so that the heat isn't on me. Sometimes I get frustrated because I have to take care of my dad and my mom and do stuff around the house. Now I get paid, though. Something that really ticks me off is when I first wake up and go downstairs. My dad tells me to get him a glass of ice water or get him,like, 20 vitamin supplements. When my dad sees that I'm upset he says that I have a good life and that I live in the best city in the state. He doesn't listen to me. He thinks that he's always right and I'm always wrong. When I talk he's always looking for a solution. It's not like I say anything extreme, but one question always turns into a 30 minute conversation.
    My mom makes me feel ill as well. I feel like she thinks I'm her maid. She tells me to go get her something when she's the closest to it, and I hate to admit it, but she can get annoying. I know this probably from her past life experiences but she is always scared of everything and she whines like a baby all the time. A lot of times I feel like I'm more mature than she is and I have to take care of her. She always barges into the bathroom without knocking and into my room as well. I know this might make me insensitive but when she talks to me and I don't want to talk, she gets sad and sometimes angry and she says that I don't want to hang out with her anymore. Sometimes I do feel that way. Both of my parents grill me with questions; the same ones over and over again and when I start getting snappy because I'm so annoyed, they say I have an attitude and my dad starts yelling at me and my mom just makes this scary face that says it all. Then they start taliing about respect and it seems like in the end they always take each other's side and not mine. Don't get me wrong, they love me very much, but sometimes I feel like they love me too much. Oh, I'm not allowed to use headphones or earbuds, I can't take my phone nor my laptop upstairs, and a new rule is that before I can use my electronics, I have to take my 15 supplements and the aftertaste is gagging. I can't socialize much because I don't have that many friends, and the friends that I do have live at least 10 minutes away. I have never had a sleepover and the only time I've been to someone else's house (that were not my relatives' houses) was when I went to a birthday party when I was 7 and when I had a Spanish project I had to finish with a group. My dad makes so many excuses now. He said that he would take me driving so that I could get my hours in, 1 hour a day. Since then, my mom's been taking me out and my dad has only taken me about 4 times. He said it three months ago. He says he hasn't been taking me out because I'm not doing what he's telling me to do, but that was only 1 time. My parents are also always arguing more often lately. I think my dad HATES my mom's side of the family, and he makes excuses for that, too.
    To sum this up, I want to say that I am always in my parents' presence whether I'm in the same room as them or not. I've noticed that I've been trying to isolate myself and get away from them, but I feel like a prisoner to their presence if you understand. I almost hate being in the house 24/7 and I just wanna get out of here. I'm trying to wait until after college because I'll still be living here then. I'm getting really frustrated and I just had a silent nervous breakdown. I know this was a long segment but if you got this far, I want to say thanks gor your patience.

  • #2
    Hey there,

    Thanks so much for contacting us, it takes a lot of courage to reach out and share your story. It must be really hard to live in a home with so much tension. It makes a lot of sense that you would want to be able to go out and have the same kind of independence and freedom that others your age have. From what you've said, it sounds like despite the issues there is a lot of love between you and your parents - that's so great!

    It sounds like your parents aren’t listening to you when you are trying to express your thoughts and feelings about your current situation. It could be a good idea to work with a local family counselor or have a conversation mediated by a school counselor/social worker, trusted friend, or family member to help clear the air. If you'd like, you can also call us directly and we can conduct a conference call with your parents so you have a safe environment where you can express yourself.

    If you’d like to go over what’s going on in depth, or if you’d like to explore other options that you may have available to you, please don’t hesitate to call us at 1-800-RUNAWAY. You can also chat us by clicking on the “CHAT” button on top of our homepage. We’re open 24/7 and here to listen and support you in any way we can.

    Stay safe,
    Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

    National Runaway Safeline
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