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as i lay dying

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  • as i lay dying

    i am the same jane doe who wrote the topic "blank" a while back.

    by the time anyone will have read this i will be... i dont have anyone i would like to say goodbye to but i still wanted to leave my voice somewhere. there is no reason to reply to this message since i will not be able to reply back.
    i know whoever reads this has know idea who i was, what i looked like, my voice or what my sense of humor was like...but i want them to get an idea.
    i was 18... i dont smile. i dont remember the last time i cried now that i think about. time stops still when you have lost love.
    i guess i just wanted to say goodbye to someone. even if that someone was a total stranger.
    all i wanted was happiness. i had it once and i was foolish enough to think that it could never be taken away.
    i almost feel as though i should apologize. for what, i have no idea. i have always been that type of person. the truth is that you could... with my last breath i would apologize...

    i have nothing more to say. i think i have already said too much as it is. my pain has started to slip away. my time is running out. thank you for having a place like this.
    i have to go now. my focus is going.

    i will see you all...

  • #2
    Re: as i lay dying


    Thank for taking the time to write on our post at the National Runaway Switchboard. We had hoped to grant your wish by avoiding a response to your words but it is not tradition for us to not follow through with a response as it is policy. You said a lot in your post and we wish to extend our support to you in this time of need. If you feel you are in immediate danger to yourself or others, we recommend that you call 911 in your local area for further assistance. We are not able to come where you are but we can be reached at 1800RUNAWAY 24 hours/day if you are in need of someone to talk to or if you need further resources.

    Going back to your point about love lost and your attempts at not apologizing; we empathize for your lost and imagine that it is not easy to not have someone at this hour to reach out to. However, we are glad to hear that you found our organization befitting of your situation. We care a great deal about your safety. Have you thought about getting help? We hope to continue this conversation soon if you decide to write to us again. We chose not to drum down many of the issues so that we can respect your wish but to let you be aware of the work we do. We imagine that there were real reasons why you did not want to face this alone.

    We hope that you reach out over the phone for a lived liner to show some emotional support. However, we wish to give you a number for the National Suicide Hotline. They can be reached at 1800-273-Talk (8255). This number is available 24 hours a day or online at They are able to connect you to the nearest counselor available using an automatic number identification system and you will reach trained crisis line worker in 2-3 rings or 20 to 30 seconds. Help is available to you if you are willing to seek it. You managed to reach out to us and we hope you continue to seek extra help. Please let us know how we can help further. Good luck.

    Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

    National Runaway Safeline
    [email protected] (Crisis Email)
    1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)

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