My mom thinks bad of me and hits me whenever she gets mad.

[ccsmod1]

Hey there,

Thanks so much for contacting us, it takes a lot of courage to reach out and share your story. It must be really hard to live in a home with so much tension - you deserve to live somewhere where you feel safe and secure. It's not fair that your mom takes her feelings about the situation with your dad out on you and your siblings. Running away is a big decision and it can be very stressful to figure out what you want to do.

Absolutely no one deserves to be abused - physically or mentally. We care a lot about your safety and if you are at risk of any danger or feeling unsafe, we encourage you to reach out to 911 or seek emergency assistance immediately. If any harm or abuse is happening at home, you have the right to report it. If you feel like this is an option you want to explore, you may find this website helpful: https://www.childhelp.org/child-abuse/. We can also help you to file a report if that’s the route you are considering. It may also be a good idea to explore options for staying with another family member or someone you trust as far as transferring custody.

You mentioned that you have previously fell into a depression and had thoughts of suicide. We want the best for you and we can help you find resources that can help you cope with these feelings. You do not have to face this alone, and there is so much help out there for you. If you are thinking about hurting yourself, the National Suicide Hotline could be a good resource for you. You can check them out at https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org/, or you can call 1-800-273-8255 for help and support any time. Another agency that could be of great help is the Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration (SAMHSA), they can help you locate low or no cost mental health care providers in your area. Their number is 1-877-726-4727 or you can go to their site at samhsa.gov.

If you’d like to go over what’s going on in depth, or if you’d like to explore other options that you may have available to you, please don’t hesitate to call us at 1-800-RUNAWAY. You can also chat us by clicking on the “CHAT” button on top of our homepage. We’re open 24/7 and here to listen and support you in any way we can.

Stay safe,
NRS

Hey i am 16 years old i am the oldest child in the house of two other kids . My mom hits me and blame me for everything. She hits me when my dad cheats on her for th 57 times she blame me for defending myself and she hits me when my brother or sister do something and i take up for myself . I fell into depression and been having suicidle thoughts but i help myself out of it . I dont know hat to do.. she dont just physical abuse me she mentally abuse me as well

[ccsmod6]

Thank you for contacting the National Runaway Safeline. Let’s start with this: We believe you.

No one deserves to be treated the way you’re describing what your mother has done to you. Whatever is making your mother behave this way, it is not your fault. It’s truly impressive you’re getting straight As through all of this. Congratulate yourself! You are obviously smart and a hard worker!

We understand why you hate coming home. If your mom doesn’t seem upset at you for unknown reasons, as you explain it, she never seems to be happy to see you. Your mentions of her slamming you to the ground or slapping you in the face are very serious. If she locks you out of the house, that can be considered a crime. Having said that, it doesn’t sound like you are ready to notify the authorities of this and get your mom in trouble. Also, calling the authorities isn’t guaranteed to be the fix you want. The authorities may investigate and be convinced nothing is wrong -- or it may be difficult for you to prove what you’re describing above. If you want to learn more about the process of reporting actions like this from your mom without formally reporting it, please feel free to call the National Child Abuse Hotline (1-800-422-4453), but be sure to not provide your name if you want to keep the call anonymous.

In the meantime, here are some things to think about for improving your situation at home.

Conflict avoidance: Your mom seems to have a short fuse for getting upset and no self control over getting upset and taking it out on you. In this case and we know this isn’t fair, but the burden may fall on you to be aware of what’s known to set her off and try your best to avoid that. Also think about how your mom is trying to provoke you and try your best to avoid taking the bait. You may also want to think about ways to limit the time you’re alone with your mom so you always have a witness.

Documentation: When it comes to proving some of the things you mention above and you want to formally report it, you’ll need to document it. Taking photos and pictures with your phone is a start if there’s a way you can do this subtly. Or if you can’t do that, take your own notes. It’s unclear how much your dad understands about your mom’s behavior but this documentation may be something you want to share with him as well.

Take stock of situation: As hard as it is to read what you’ve shared, some of the people we help are in even worse situations. It sounds like you generally are safe, have enough clothing, food, supplies for school, etc. You have siblings you care about and a dad whom you love, though he’s often gone at work. It could be much better. It could be much worse. Think about if there’s anything else you can do to improve the relationship with your mom or limit time with her when you can sense she’s in a bad mood. There may be a time soon when you need to escalate this to your dad, so documenting and having witnesses to this behavior is important.

As we said above, you are smart, work hard and have a bright future ahead of you. Some of us have very difficult childhoods, but these are temporary and don’t prevent us from being happy, successful adults.

Thank you again for reaching out to us. We hope this information above can be helpful for thinking through how to improve your situation at home. Please don’t hesitate to call us at the National Runaway Safeline if you’d like to discuss any of this further. You can reach us at 1-800-RUNAWAY. We are here 24 hours a day, 7 days a week.

My mom doesn’t treat me like she treats my brothers. I’m 13 and the middle child. My mom is never satisfied with anything I do, whether it’s how good I do my chores, my sports, and my grades (I have had all A’s my whole life). I hate coming home from school, it’s always a hit or miss with her mood. My dad works all week day from 8am to around 7pm. My mom only works 1 or 2 days a week but luckily their from 6am to 8pm. When I get off the bus and walk into the house my mom always sighs and says a smart remark like “things are always more pleasant when your not home”. Sometimes she gets really, really mad at me for “backtalking”. She’ll count to 3 so I’ll make my way up to my room and she stops me and says “where do you think your going?” I say “my room” and as I continue to walk up the stairs she chases me and hits me on the back or the neck or will slap me in the face. It’s gotten a lot worse than this tho, one time my slammed me too the ground and proceeded to lay on me (she’s not the lightest if you know what I mean), I could hardly breath and started screaming because I was having a panic attack so my older brother came upstairs and made her get off. (She claims we were playing, but I don’t dare to argue). I remember swimming at my nanas one day everyone was distracted and watching fireworks, my mom was mad at me because I had pushed my little brother in playfully, so she told me to get out of the pool and I responded “why?”. She then started pushing me under water, I was in disbelief and continued to struggle to get her off me, luckily we were in the deep end so I was able to swim down and away from her. I was so shocked that I got out of the pool and just stood there staring at her and she acted like nothing was wrong, I told my dad and started to cry. He asked my mom about and my mom replied, “we were playing, would you actually believe her?”. I gave up. She locks me out sometimes, won’t let me eat dinner, doesn’t let me go home places with them and my brothers, and unnecessarily scolds me punishes me. I don’t want to tell anyone because my mom is normal for the most part, no one believes me anyway. I don’t want her to get in trouble because I don’t want her to hate me anymore. What do I do?

[ccsmod6]

Hello and thank you for reaching out to the National Runaway Safeline. It sounds like you are a little unsatisfied with how you’re living your life right now and that’s understandable. We’d be happy to talk to you about how you can engage with other interests if that is what you would like to do. Or if you are interested in just talking more about your situation, we can talk about what other options that you might have. Please don’t hesitate to call us on our 24/7 hotline 1-800-786-2929 or chat us at 1800runaway.org. We will keep an ear out for you!

Take care,
NRS

Not gonna lie but besidesband drug and skateboard thats literally like my life and idk what to do

Hi, I'm a fifteen year old female, I turn sixteen in September. My mom is usually very nice to me and everyone around me, but there's times when she gets really angry with me. With my schooling, (I'm home schooled) she degrades me constantly and belittles me. There's been a few cases where she gets so mad at me, either for no reason or over something small, that she starts hitting me. I've gotten a couple bruises, but they all eventually go away. There was one time that I got beyond depressed due to my "situation", that I started to cut myself. It made me feel better about myself, but I never did it again in case she would find out and be mad at me. I also have anxiety/social anxiety, and my mom doesn't really take it seriously. I've never been fully diagnosed with it, since I haven't been to a doctor or therapy for it. There's been some instances where I contemplate suicide, I tried when I was thirteen but, sadly to me, it didn't work. I don't really know if I need help, I just know that my mother won't supply it if I do. Please answer soon.

[ccsmod1]

Hey there,

Thanks so much for contacting us, it takes a lot of courage to reach out and share your story. It must be really hard to live in a home with so much tension. Your parents' behavior is worrisome and it makes sense that you are worried about your own and your siblings' safety.

You mentioned some things about abuse and inappropriate sexual actions taken by your parents that raise concern for your safety and well-being. Absolutely no one deserves to be abused. If you are at risk of any danger or feeling unsafe, we encourage you to reach out to 911 or seek emergency assistance immediately. If any harm or abuse is happening at home, you have the right to report it. If you feel like this is an option you want to explore, you may find this website helpful: https://www.childhelp.org/child-abuse/. It may also be a good idea to explore options for staying with another family member or someone you trust as far as transferring custody or discussing a foster care or group home placement. Taking pictures or video of the abuse and/or and injuries that have occurred because of it may be helpful during a CPS investigation. If you need help filing an abuse report you can contact us directly at 1-800-RUNAWAY and we can either file a report for you or conduct a conference call with CPS to help you through the process. You can also tell a teacher, school counselor/social worker, police officer, medical personnel like a doctor or nurse about what's going on at home and they can file a report for you as well.

You mentioned that you were raped by your father at a young age. You do not deserve to have this happen to you, and we believe and support you. You are a survivor and that means that you have a great strength and resilience inside you. It can be really hard to deal with this alone and sometimes it’s helpful to reach out to additional agencies for support. One really great resource for all survivors of sexual assault or abuse is RAINN (Rape Abuse Incest National Network). You can call them any time 24/7 at 1-800-656-4673, or go to www.rainn.org to use their online hotline. RAINN is the National Sexual Assault Hotline and has a lot of services, support, and resources that you may find helpful.

If you’d like to go over what’s going on in depth, or if you’d like to explore other options that you may have available to you, please don’t hesitate to call us at 1-800-RUNAWAY. You can also chat us by clicking on the “CHAT” button on top of our homepage. We’re open 24/7 and here to listen and support you in any way we can.

All the best,
NRS

Hi I'm 13 and I have a question. Is it ok for my mother to hit me when I don't listen to her? I have MDD and it causes me to become drained some days, on those days sometimes I don't want to deal with my family. But my mother is a person who likes order and a clean house, daily. By a clean house, I don't mean the house has to be sparkling but to whatever standards she has for that day. If me or my siblings don't meet her standards for whatever chore she gives us, she will call us names, compare us to her self, be rude, or if it gets a bit heated hit us and try to drag us to her. When she does hit me she will ether slap me, shove me, or pull my hair. But I do have a couple other questions about her and my father. One is, is ok for her to think that just because were family she can get naked in front of me and think it is ok? Or for her to shower with my eight and five year old brothers? Or for her to sleep with my five year old brother, in the same room as the eight year old? The questions I have about my father is, is it ok for him to scream or threaten to hit us? Or for him to look at me funny when I'm in a bathing suit or wearing shorts? Or for him to scream at my mother to get a job, to disaplen my dyslectic and autistic five year old brother, to throw a beer can at her and threaten to pour beer on her, to scream "shut to ******** up"? He has been to jail for rapeing me when I was 4/5/6 but since at the time, I couldn't remember anything about it he was bailed out by my mother. But now I can very vevidly remember what he did, down to what I was wearing to what portion the bed was in. I don't know what to do, because if I do go the the police they might not believe me. Or if I go to the police they might take us away, then what? My brother needs to go to a special school because he can't speak English properly and he's autistic/dyslectic. And I have a theripest that costs money because of my past self harm and suicide attempt. But I went to the mental ward but they let me go. But ever since then my mother uses the theirpest as a way to make me listen to her, or she will flat out make me feel horrible or like I'm faking it because of my MDD and self harm. When. she found out she looked at me like I was a animal, and the next day completely flipped out on me. Its been a couple mouths now but, when I get in on of my episodes of just feeling drained she will threaten to make sleep down stairs or to monerter me like I was in the hospital . Please tell me what I should do, Im scared about my safety and my siblings safety.

[ccsmod2]

Hello there,

Thank you for reaching out to NRS and having the strength to share your story with us. We are sorry to hear about your situation and what you’ve been dealing with. Ideally, home would be a place where people feel safe, loved, and valued, and you do not deserve to be treated that way. You’ve been very courageous to reach out for help and try your best despite the circumstances.

Although NRS is not a legal agency, we can try to give a general idea of possible outcomes if you were to run away. If you are considered a minor in your state, you are still under your parents’ guardianship, therefore at any point when you are gone, they are legally within their rights to file a runaway report. Being a runaway is a status offense, and while you would not be charged with a crime, if police came across you, they would probably return you home. Guardians could also potentially press charges against people who took you into their care for “harboring a runaway;” these charges would be misdemeanors, but still criminal offenses.

You’ve mentioned a few instances of physical and emotional abuse. We understand that trauma can be difficult to work through and that reporting may not be an option you are comfortable with. However, you do deserve to live in a safe place, and if you wanted to talk more about child abuse reporting or wanted support, Child Help (National Child Abuse Hotline) could be a resource for learning what reporting would look like. They are accessible by phone at 1-800-422-4453 and online at childhelp.org.

We would love to talk more about the details of your situation so that we can work towards a solution that you find acceptable. If you would like to share more, please feel free to call our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or use our Live Chat.
We hope this information was helpful and take care.
National Runaway Safeline
[email protected] (Crisis Email)
1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)

Hi, I’m 13 year old girl. My mom and my older sister treat me like their slave whenever I’m watching computer or my phone they always say “what are you doing, why are you so lazy why are you doing nothing. You watch video like 2 hour ago.” And I get very annoyed by that so I have to clean the house everyday. Sometimes my body feel very heavy and tired and I feel like I have no strength. Whenever I don’t clean the dishes or the house my mom and my older sister always hit me in the head or slap me. I cry mostly everyday in my room or bathroom. Sometimes i feel like running away but I don’t have the courage to do that. I want to tell everyone’s about my situation but when I think about it they my family so how could I do that. Please help me.!

[ccsmod1]

Hey there,

Thanks so much for contacting us, it takes a lot of courage to reach out and share your story. It must be really hard to live in a home with so much tension. Your mom's actions are unacceptable and you deserve to live in a home where you are safe and secure.

You mentioned some things that raise concern for your safety and well-being. Absolutely no one deserves to be abused. If you are at risk of any danger or feeling unsafe, we encourage you to reach out to 911 or seek emergency assistance immediately. If any harm or abuse is happening at home, you have the right to report it. If you feel like this is an option you want to explore, you may find this website helpful: https://www.childhelp.org/child-abuse/. We can also help you to file a report if that’s the route you are considering. It may also be a good idea to explore options for staying with another family member or someone you trust as far as transferring custody.

If you’d like to go over what’s going on in depth, or if you’d like to explore other options that you may have available to you, please don’t hesitate to call us at 1-800-RUNAWAY. You can also chat us by clicking on the “CHAT” button on top of our homepage. We’re open 24/7 and here to listen and support you in any way we can.

All the best,
NRS

I am 14 years old. I get decent grades, but whenever I have a slight slip my mom yells at me. My dad does not mind because he knows I always fix my grades, but not my mom. When I study at home and don’t understand something, I get hit or slapped. If I talk back, I get hit or slapped. If I try to talk all I get is negative responses. I am not allowed the same privileges as others my age. Today, I was struck with a big textbook, causing my arm to swell up. I try to stay happy, but it is getting very difficult and I don’t want to fall into sadness. I hope there is something I can do so that my mother understands me.

[ccsmod2]

Hi. First off I want to thank you for reaching out to us; that can be a very difficult thing to do. We want to tell you that no one deserves to be hit no matter the reason. You deserve to feel safe and secure. You do have options such as Child Help at 1-800-422-4453 this is the National Child Abuse hotline. Calling these places can feel overwhelming so if you wanted to explore this option, you could always call us and we can help you through it. We are also here 24/7 to talk about other things and other options if reporting is not something you felt comfortable with. Please let us know if there is anything we can do to help.

when my mom hits me I have gotten used to it and it doesn't hurt that bad anymore but when she started hitting me with a broom i have felt so empty because she makes me feel like i am such a bad person