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My mom thinks bad of me and hits me whenever she gets mad.

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  • #46
    Hi, I'm a fifteen year old female, I turn sixteen in September. My mom is usually very nice to me and everyone around me, but there's times when she gets really angry with me. With my schooling, (I'm home schooled) she degrades me constantly and belittles me. There's been a few cases where she gets so mad at me, either for no reason or over something small, that she starts hitting me. I've gotten a couple bruises, but they all eventually go away. There was one time that I got beyond depressed due to my "situation", that I started to cut myself. It made me feel better about myself, but I never did it again in case she would find out and be mad at me. I also have anxiety/social anxiety, and my mom doesn't really take it seriously. I've never been fully diagnosed with it, since I haven't been to a doctor or therapy for it. There's been some instances where I contemplate suicide, I tried when I was thirteen but, sadly to me, it didn't work. I don't really know if I need help, I just know that my mother won't supply it if I do. Please answer soon.

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    • #47
      Not gonna lie but besidesband drug and skateboard thats literally like my life and idk what to do

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      • ccsmod6
        ccsmod6 commented
        Editing a comment
        Hello and thank you for reaching out to the National Runaway Safeline. It sounds like you are a little unsatisfied with how you’re living your life right now and that’s understandable. We’d be happy to talk to you about how you can engage with other interests if that is what you would like to do. Or if you are interested in just talking more about your situation, we can talk about what other options that you might have. Please don’t hesitate to call us on our 24/7 hotline 1-800-786-2929 or chat us at 1800runaway.org. We will keep an ear out for you!

        Take care,
        NRS

    • #48
      My mom doesn’t treat me like she treats my brothers. I’m 13 and the middle child. My mom is never satisfied with anything I do, whether it’s how good I do my chores, my sports, and my grades (I have had all A’s my whole life). I hate coming home from school, it’s always a hit or miss with her mood. My dad works all week day from 8am to around 7pm. My mom only works 1 or 2 days a week but luckily their from 6am to 8pm. When I get off the bus and walk into the house my mom always sighs and says a smart remark like “things are always more pleasant when your not home”. Sometimes she gets really, really mad at me for “backtalking”. She’ll count to 3 so I’ll make my way up to my room and she stops me and says “where do you think your going?” I say “my room” and as I continue to walk up the stairs she chases me and hits me on the back or the neck or will slap me in the face. It’s gotten a lot worse than this tho, one time my slammed me too the ground and proceeded to lay on me (she’s not the lightest if you know what I mean), I could hardly breath and started screaming because I was having a panic attack so my older brother came upstairs and made her get off. (She claims we were playing, but I don’t dare to argue). I remember swimming at my nanas one day everyone was distracted and watching fireworks, my mom was mad at me because I had pushed my little brother in playfully, so she told me to get out of the pool and I responded “why?”. She then started pushing me under water, I was in disbelief and continued to struggle to get her off me, luckily we were in the deep end so I was able to swim down and away from her. I was so shocked that I got out of the pool and just stood there staring at her and she acted like nothing was wrong, I told my dad and started to cry. He asked my mom about and my mom replied, “we were playing, would you actually believe her?”. I gave up. She locks me out sometimes, won’t let me eat dinner, doesn’t let me go home places with them and my brothers, and unnecessarily scolds me punishes me. I don’t want to tell anyone because my mom is normal for the most part, no one believes me anyway. I don’t want her to get in trouble because I don’t want her to hate me anymore. What do I do?

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      • ccsmod6
        ccsmod6 commented
        Editing a comment
        Thank you for contacting the National Runaway Safeline. Let’s start with this: We believe you.

        No one deserves to be treated the way you’re describing what your mother has done to you. Whatever is making your mother behave this way, it is not your fault. It’s truly impressive you’re getting straight As through all of this. Congratulate yourself! You are obviously smart and a hard worker!

        We understand why you hate coming home. If your mom doesn’t seem upset at you for unknown reasons, as you explain it, she never seems to be happy to see you. Your mentions of her slamming you to the ground or slapping you in the face are very serious. If she locks you out of the house, that can be considered a crime. Having said that, it doesn’t sound like you are ready to notify the authorities of this and get your mom in trouble. Also, calling the authorities isn’t guaranteed to be the fix you want. The authorities may investigate and be convinced nothing is wrong -- or it may be difficult for you to prove what you’re describing above. If you want to learn more about the process of reporting actions like this from your mom without formally reporting it, please feel free to call the National Child Abuse Hotline (1-800-422-4453), but be sure to not provide your name if you want to keep the call anonymous.

        In the meantime, here are some things to think about for improving your situation at home.

        Conflict avoidance: Your mom seems to have a short fuse for getting upset and no self control over getting upset and taking it out on you. In this case and we know this isn’t fair, but the burden may fall on you to be aware of what’s known to set her off and try your best to avoid that. Also think about how your mom is trying to provoke you and try your best to avoid taking the bait. You may also want to think about ways to limit the time you’re alone with your mom so you always have a witness.

        Documentation: When it comes to proving some of the things you mention above and you want to formally report it, you’ll need to document it. Taking photos and pictures with your phone is a start if there’s a way you can do this subtly. Or if you can’t do that, take your own notes. It’s unclear how much your dad understands about your mom’s behavior but this documentation may be something you want to share with him as well.

        Take stock of situation: As hard as it is to read what you’ve shared, some of the people we help are in even worse situations. It sounds like you generally are safe, have enough clothing, food, supplies for school, etc. You have siblings you care about and a dad whom you love, though he’s often gone at work. It could be much better. It could be much worse. Think about if there’s anything else you can do to improve the relationship with your mom or limit time with her when you can sense she’s in a bad mood. There may be a time soon when you need to escalate this to your dad, so documenting and having witnesses to this behavior is important.

        As we said above, you are smart, work hard and have a bright future ahead of you. Some of us have very difficult childhoods, but these are temporary and don’t prevent us from being happy, successful adults.

        Thank you again for reaching out to us. We hope this information above can be helpful for thinking through how to improve your situation at home. Please don’t hesitate to call us at the National Runaway Safeline if you’d like to discuss any of this further. You can reach us at 1-800-RUNAWAY. We are here 24 hours a day, 7 days a week.

    • #49
      Hey i am 16 years old i am the oldest child in the house of two other kids . My mom hits me and blame me for everything. She hits me when my dad cheats on her for th 57 times she blame me for defending myself and she hits me when my brother or sister do something and i take up for myself . I fell into depression and been having suicidle thoughts but i help myself out of it . I dont know hat to do.. she dont just physical abuse me she mentally abuse me as well

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      • ccsmod1
        ccsmod1 commented
        Editing a comment
        Hey there,

        Thanks so much for contacting us, it takes a lot of courage to reach out and share your story. It must be really hard to live in a home with so much tension - you deserve to live somewhere where you feel safe and secure. It's not fair that your mom takes her feelings about the situation with your dad out on you and your siblings. Running away is a big decision and it can be very stressful to figure out what you want to do.

        Absolutely no one deserves to be abused - physically or mentally. We care a lot about your safety and if you are at risk of any danger or feeling unsafe, we encourage you to reach out to 911 or seek emergency assistance immediately. If any harm or abuse is happening at home, you have the right to report it. If you feel like this is an option you want to explore, you may find this website helpful: https://www.childhelp.org/child-abuse/. We can also help you to file a report if that’s the route you are considering. It may also be a good idea to explore options for staying with another family member or someone you trust as far as transferring custody.

        You mentioned that you have previously fell into a depression and had thoughts of suicide. We want the best for you and we can help you find resources that can help you cope with these feelings. You do not have to face this alone, and there is so much help out there for you. If you are thinking about hurting yourself, the National Suicide Hotline could be a good resource for you. You can check them out at https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org/, or you can call 1-800-273-8255 for help and support any time. Another agency that could be of great help is the Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration (SAMHSA), they can help you locate low or no cost mental health care providers in your area. Their number is 1-877-726-4727 or you can go to their site at samhsa.gov.

        If you’d like to go over what’s going on in depth, or if you’d like to explore other options that you may have available to you, please don’t hesitate to call us at 1-800-RUNAWAY. You can also chat us by clicking on the “CHAT” button on top of our homepage. We’re open 24/7 and here to listen and support you in any way we can.

        Stay safe,
        NRS

    • #50
      See my mom and dad they are scary every time I come home they always have to threaten me that’s why I’m always scared to go home. today my sister was changing I didn’t know and I was ashamed I went downstairs to my dad after that I thought my sister prolly. Changed so I went upstairs and the door was open I opened to see my sister still wearing her pants I said why does it take so long as a Shut the door then my mom comes in and says why did you do that are you stupid or something? Really loud and I said I’m sorry I thought she changed and she punched me really hard then she grabbed a hanger a started to beat me really bad until it left cuts and bruises and my neck started to bleed really bad and my head hurts this isn’t the only time this happened I always say I love you dad but he says I hate u everytime and my says it’s a joke. One time I had a F then my dad locked me in the basement for 10 hours with no food nor water. This is why I don’t like to be here I want loving parents like my friends their parents are so nice to their sons and daughters

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      • ccsmod8
        ccsmod8 commented
        Editing a comment
        Hello there –

        Thank you for reaching out to us here. We are very sorry to hear that you are going through this. Hopefully by helping you out, there might be others in similar situation reading through this thread that can get help as well.

        It can be very frustrating not knowing what to do or what your next step might be from this point on. No one deserves to be treated that way at all. You have rights to protect yourself against this kind of behavior. If you haven’t it might be a good idea to document any type of abuse that you have experienced while at home. So taking pictures of your injuries or showing them to someone that you can trust is helping. This way you might be able to prove what is going on behind closed doors.

        One resource that you might be able to look into if you’re looking for a safe place for them to go, would be to visit The National Safeplace. This organization provides access to immediate help and supportive resources for youth in need. You can look up your city and state to see if there is any safe places near you listed. They are some places like designated school, fire stations, libraries, etc. So that is always an option if you feel like go to talk to someone in person and what has been going on. They can also come to arrange transportation from that location to a nearby shelter resources if you can’t get there on your own. If you want to contact them you can text the word “SAFE” to 69866 with your current location (address, city, state) or visit their website for more information.

        It’s hard to talk to just anyone one about what has been going on. Please rest assured that we are completing confidential. So anything that you share with us will stay between us. We don’t ask for any identifying information, unless you want to report any abuse. We certainly want to help you. Please feel free to reach out to us if you need more help.

    • #51
      Hey, I’m 14. I know a lot of people have life way worse than me, I’m probably just overreacting or something. I’ve never had the best relationship with my mom, I used to with my dad but he started a job where he’s away every other week for weeks at a time when I was in the third grade. Then when he quit and went into another job that let him work from home I was excited. I wanted to be close to him again. But he works unconventional hours and never had time for me, i understand that. Basically we drifted apart. I want to love my mom to death, I want her to know that I still try so hard to and I’d do anything for her. All I want is to feel loved back. She told me once that she still has memories from when her dad would chase her up the stairs to hit her. She said that it was to, “straighten her out.” She does the same thing to me. Ever since I was a child she’d occasionally smack me and my sister, sometimes for reasons we didn’t even know. We tried to tell our aunt and it stopped for a bit. Recently it’s been more frequent, for my sister more than me. She hurts me more verbally, I can take physical pain. She calls me a ********** or a lazy pig or a flat out disappointment and disgrace almost every day, much more as well. She makes jokes about my faults and weaknesses to her teacher friends. (She’s a teacher btw.) the more detail I go into here the more scared I am that she’ll read this and know I wrote it. She scares me sometimes. She makes me feel so lonely and sad, like my heart physically hurts. I see people with great relationships with their parents and I can’t help but feel jealous. I’ve been taking walks alone recently to clear my head and it might make me a terrible person, but I never want to go back. I feel like if we suddenly had a good relationship all of a sudden I wouldn’t trust it, it’s too out of character. But I want to feel loved all the same. I know i probably sound stupid. I know so many people have it worse and I should be grateful. But um, yeah.

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      • ccsmod9
        ccsmod9 commented
        Editing a comment
        Hello,

        You mentioned some things that raise concern for your safety and well-being. If any harm or abuse is happening at home, you have the right to report it. We are not experts on the issue, but generally once it's been reported, social services will either decide whether or not to take the case and further investigate. If they do take the case, they will send out someone from child protective services to do an investigation (interviewing people in the household) and from there they will decide the level of danger within the household. It generally ranges from no danger (the youth stays in the home, some services are given, and the case is closed), moderate danger (they will provide family services with possible temporary displacement) and high danger (they will remove the youth from the home and offer certain services).

        If you feel like this is an option you want to explore, you may find this website helpful: https://www.childhelp.org/child-abuse/. We can also help you to file a report if that’s the route you are considering.

        Please be safe and reach out soon by phone or chat so that we may help.
        Take care,
        NRS

    • #52
      Hi, so I have a 21 year old brother who got hit by my mother today. I'm 18 and also have a 20 year old brother, a 13 year old brother, and a 2 year old sister. My mother spends alot of time out and leaves us to watch my little sister. She smokes pot in the house with my little sister and also has given drinks to all of us children above 18. She hit my brother today in the face and I'm more or less wondering if she hits my brother and he hits her back what are the consequences. Can my brother go to jail and if he does, will me and my other brothers be able to call CPS and actually be listened to?

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      • ccsmod15
        ccsmod15 commented
        Editing a comment
        Thanks for reaching out to the National Runaway Safeline.

        First, we want you to know that if you or your siblings are ever in an emergency or unsafe situation, you can always call 911 right away.

        It sounds like there is a lot going on at home, and we are glad you reached out to us for help. We can tell how much you care for you siblings by reaching out on their behalf like this. We are confidential and non-directive (meaning we don’t tell anyone what to do), and can be reached at 1-800-RUNAWAY if you ever want to speak to someone here in person.

        We are not legal experts, but we can give you some general information. Anyone under the age of majority in your state (usually 18 years old) is considered a minor whose guardian is legally responsible for them. If that guardian is behaving in a way that is harmful to the minor or not providing appropriately for the minor, an abuse and/or neglect report can be filed with Child Protective Services (CPS).

        You don’t mention which brother was hit in the face. If you feel this situation is an instance of child abuse, the National Child Abuse Hotline can be reached at 1-800-422-4453. Also, alcohol being offered to minors and marijuana in the house could also be something to report.

        It sounds like you have experience with CPS, and not being listened to. If contacting CPS again is something you would like to do, we can support you in that decision in a few ways: we can make a report with CPS with you on the line at the same time, we can give you the number so you can talk to them on your own, or we can take the information about what’s going on and call CPS on our own once we end the call. We are here to help you in whatever way suits you best.

        Thank you again for contacting us. We can be reached 24/7 at 1-800-RUNAWAY, and we encourage you to call in if you are comfortable. We are confidential, and we want to help.

        Be safe,

        NRS

    • #53
      I'm 14, and i have the same problem. My mom hits me and she has even picked me up off of the ground by my hair. When I was little she would spank me so hard that i would end up with bruses. She has slapped me so hard that i had a red print where she hit me. I never told anyone because i was told not to. My parents are divorced i feel like i should tell my dad. My home turns into a nightmare. With my mom favoring my little sister, its hard to stay positive. Im filled with anxiety when she is around me. once, i was telling the truth but, she wont believe me, she only sees what she wants to see.Later on she called me lying because of it.
      Last edited by ccsmod1; Today, 12:54 AM.

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      • ccsmod1
        ccsmod1 commented
        Editing a comment
        Hey there,

        Thanks so much for reaching out and sharing a little bit about what’s been going on, we know that it takes a lot of courage. Your mom's actions are unacceptable and absolutely no one deserves to be abused. If you are at risk of any danger or feeling unsafe, we encourage you to reach out to 911 or seek emergency assistance immediately. If any harm or abuse is happening at home, you have the right to report it. If you feel like this is an option you want to explore, you may find this website helpful: https://www.childhelp.org/child-abuse/. We can also help you to file a report if that’s the route you are considering. It may also be a good idea to explore options for staying with another family member (like your dad) or someone you trust as far as transferring custody. If you are interested in reporting it may also be helpful to document any injuries (like the bruises or red print from the slap) to show to a caseworker.

        If you’d like to go over what’s going on in depth, or if you’d like to explore other options that you may have available to you, please don’t hesitate to call us at 1-800-RUNAWAY. You can also chat us by clicking on the “CHAT” button on top of our homepage. We’re open 24/7 and here to listen and support you in any way we can.

        Stay safe,
        NRS
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