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I want to run away to my boyfriend in Virginia

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  • I want to run away to my boyfriend in Virginia

    My mom and dad are divorced and I only see my dad every other weekend, my mom is an alcoholic while my dad is now completely sober and the absolute best. My mom abuses and hurts me and almost made me suffocate to the point of blacking out at a family event recently. I am 14 and I am a transgender boy, but my mom won't allow me to have hormone blockers and my dad doesn't have the money for them. My boyfriend is 15 and we video chat and have known eachother for over a year now, and he is also transgender like me, except he has come out completely and I'm being forced in the closet by my mom because she doesnt want me to embarrass her. I've started hurting myself worse and worse every single night no matter where I am and I want to die more than anything but I can't because of my friends that love me, I don't want to hurt them like that but I'm getting close to the final line and have attempted suicide 10 times before being saved. I just want to hug my boyfriend and know everything is okay, our friend has said i could live with him and go to one of the free public schools in their area that is actually nice, and I wont be sleeping on the floor anymore and would have an actual bed and food. I'm underweight and too scared to even eat in my own home sometimes because im called a fat ass so much, but now my ribs have started showing and my stomach is inwards. I don't know whether I should leave to go to Virginia or stay in Alabama and go through with my three years of highschool i have left before leaving, what should i do?

  • #2
    Hi there, thank you for reaching out. Living with your mom sounds like it is taking quite a toll on you. We are glad you reached out. We are here to help.

    We are not legal experts, but from what we understand, the legal age of adulthood when you can leave home in AL is 19. Generally, leaving before that can be done one of three ways: emancipation (which often you must be at least 16 and able to emotionally, financially, educationally, etc. take care of yourself), child protection and getting your custody transferred to a safe adult (in the case of abuse and neglect), and with permission from a guardian.

    You mentioned your dad is supportive. Perhaps you could speak to him about possibly trying to gain full custody. Again, we are not legal experts, but we do have a lot of resources for legal aid. If you want some referrals in your area, call us (1-800-786-2929) or chat directly through the button at the top of our website and we can better help you directly.

    You also mentioned your mom hurts you and tried to suffocate you. That is considered abuse and you never deserve abuse of any kind. Child Help: 1-800-422-4453, childhelp.org, can provide you more information on abuse, reporting the abuse if you want to, and getting custody transferred. We can also help you file an abuse report over the phone if that is something you want to do. Otherwise, you are always free to call and talk with us anonymously and confidentially about your situation.

    It sounds like all this abuse and your mom being unsupportive of your gender identity has taken a big toll on your mental health. TWLOHA.org is an online resource for self-injury from other young people who have experienced it. If you ever need additional support in the moment, calling/chatting us here at NRS or calling/chatting the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline is always an option. NSPL: 1-800-273-8255, suicidepreventionlifeline.org. If you are in immediate danger of killing yourself or being hurt by your mom, you can also always call 911 for someone to be dispatched to your location for immediate assistance.

    We are glad your friend and boyfriend are so supportive. It can be very difficult when adults in our life do not support us, even with supportive friends. Some additional supports for you are The Trevor Project (1-866-488-7386, thetrevorproject.org; Trans Lifeline (1-877-565-8860, translifeline.org) and the LGBT National Youth Talkline (1-800-246-7743.

    You have shown tremendous courage in reaching out. Feel free to call or chat anytime to talk more about your situation and options or to get more resources in your area.

    Best,
    NRS
    Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

    National Runaway Safeline
    [email protected] (Crisis Email)
    1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)
    https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/YourOpinionMattersToUs

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