Is there a way to escape this without having to run away?

[Emma]

I'm a minor and I have just turned 14, my mom is a non caring selfish b**ch and I can't stand to hear anything she has to say. Anytime a friend or someone gives me advice she orders me not I talk to them ever again because I'm not supposed to listen to anybody but my mother even if it's good advice, I don't have any friends because of that reason, and I can't have anyone over, I'm never aloud to leave the house no matter what. I used to think that this is because she's over protective and because she cares about me, but I was wrong. The police and social workers are all up in her business. She's afraid that if I do anything she'll get arrested. I've tried working on this, I've tried talking to her but she doesn't understand, she drives me crazy and I think I might have gotten some anger issues out of this, she also thought that I'm getting anger issues so she started talking to this home based social worker that comes around once or twice a week and that social worker had suggested therapy, she had also got told that whenever I get angry and things get dangerous she'd have to call 911, they were just saying, I never did anything dangerous, but now any time I yell at her she threatens to call 911 and I swear that gets so annoying, she's called the police and told them that she doesn't want me anymore but they said there's no reason to send me to JDC so they also suggested therapy, I started therapy and my therapist tries to talk to me and I tell her what's going on, she thought I should go go an alternative house so this problem can get resolved, and I did go to an alternative home (basically a group home) nothing chaned, now she's suggesting foster care or residential but I don't wanna live with a random family or person and I don't wanna be held in a treatment hospital for no reason for 3 months, I just wanna be happy and i just wanna run away I can't stand living with her anymore. Is there something else I can do??

[ccsmod9]

Re: Is there a way to escape this without having to run away?

Thank you very much for writing us at the National Runaway Safeline. We’re here to listen and here to help. We’re so sorry to hear that you have been going through such a difficult time with your mother. It sounds like you are feeling unheard and unacknowledged by her. From what you’ve written, it seems like you try to be reasonable and explain your perspective and your mother is not in a place where she can respond to you as you would like (and deserve) for a mother to respond to you.

It sounds like you are in a stressful situation. On the one hand, you have to deal with some frustrating emotions, and on the other, you are able to talk to a therapist who is giving you options that you are not ready or do not want to take. It is awesome, though, that you have this person as a resource, especially when it seems like your mother is not there for you in the ways that you need her to be.

You have every right to want to be happy and to live with people with whom you feel secure and well-loved. Aside from running away or living in a group home, what other thoughts have you had about being happy and living in a stress-free environment?

As you know, you are a minor. This means that running away would earn you a status offense. Status offenses are those acts that are illegal due to your age. This includes running away, drinking, and skipping school. If you were to runaway, your mother could file a runaway report. This would mean that the police around the nation would know that you ran away. If anyone were to help you, they may get in trouble from the law. Although police policies vary according to your state, police often return runaway youth back home, unless they have reason to believe home is unsafe.

Does your mom know that you would rather not live with her? If she does, would she ever allow you to stay with another relative of your choice? Parents can give temporary guardianship or permission for their child to stay with someone else. Other adults in your life, who believe that your mom is unfit, can also request legal guardianship or custody of you. Please note that we are not legal experts. However, we can refer you to a legal expert to help you explore legal options for leaving home. Here is the link:

http://www.nolo.com/legal-encyclopedia/finding-free-legal-services-30144.html

When you said that you would not want to live in a group home or a foster care setting, is this because it is something you dread or is it something you do not know much about what to expect? If you do not want to explore those options because you never experienced it, is there someone you could talk to who would let you know more about it? Perhaps that could give you a full view of your potential options.
In any case, thank you for writing us. We wish you the best in your situation. Also, feel free to call, chat, or email with us at any time. See our availability below.

Best,

NRS