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I HATE my moms boyfriend.

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  • I HATE my moms boyfriend.

    I have despised my moms boyfriend for the full 3 years now that I’ve had to live with him. My mom keeps pressuring me to be friends and buddy-buddy with him, but I truly hate living in a house with him and I want to leave, but I don’t know where I would go. My school is here, I’m gonna have free community college through a scholarship program here, and my boyfriend and friends are all here. My real dad is abusive and lives in the middle of nowhere so I can’t go there. If I go live with my boyfriend I wouldn’t be able to walk to work. I have to wait another full year before I can drive, and when I do I might just go live in my car. I just wish my mom would accept that I will never like him before my resentment towards her gets worse. My moms boyfriend is a useless human, he will not do anything around the house and watch me and my mom work our asses off cleaning HIS house. He’s disgusting and everyone I know agrees that he’s lazy. He wouldn’t even take me to a doctors appointment and he works from HOME, so I had to beg my stepmom who lives an hour away to come take me. My mom is always comparing how I like my stepmom but hate my “stepdad”, but my stepmom is a genuinely good person who will give you the shirt off her back. I just want out so bad..I can’t stay here for 2 more years. I don’t know how I’d do it.

  • #2
    We are glad you reached out to us. It sounds like you have been living in a very stressful situation for a long time. It takes courage to reach out for help. You have accomplished a lot despite living with all the home stress you described. Getting a job and a full scholarship for community college are great accomplishments and we understand you would not want to jeopardize either one of those. It is understandable you are dreading the next 2 years living in the situation you described. We have some resources we can offer you. One would be to set up a conference call with your Mom and one of our mediators would be on the call with you to help you tell your Mom the issues and work out a plan how you both might manage things for the next 2 years. We could also discuss how you use your step mom as a resource not as a replacement for your Mom. We could also try to find some counseling resources in your area to help you manage the stress and emotions dealing with your home life. There may options for independent or transitional living that we could look at for you as well. You can call us at (800) 786 2929 or chat with us on our website at www.1800runaway.org to talk more and figure out a plan for you. We are here 24/7 and are confidential and non directive (that means we won’t tell you what to do but figure out a plan for you that is right for you).
    Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

    National Runaway Safeline
    [email protected] (Crisis Email)
    1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)

    Tell us what you think about your experience!
    https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/YourOpinionMattersToUs

    Comment


    • #3
      Im ten and I have hated my moms boyfriend for four long dumb years. I delete his contact from my moms phone and take his keys too MY MOMS house and hide them. I want out but where do I go. I love my mom a lot and I don't wanna leave her wit him what do I do help plss

      Comment


      • ccsmod10
        ccsmod10 commented
        Editing a comment
        Thank you for reaching out to us and telling us your story. It sounds like you are going through a very difficult time right now and we hope to be able to help you. 18 years old is generally the age that an individual may leave home without permission from their parent or legal guardian. We are not legal experts here but we can speak in general terms. If you are under 18 and leave home without permission, your parent/guardian may file a runaway report with the police. What actions the police take once you are filed as a runaway can vary a lot from state to state and even city to city so we cannot predict exactly what would happen in your case. Generally speaking, if you encounter a police officer while reported as a runaway, you will likely be returned home. However, in that case there may be services (family counseling, etc.) available to you as a youth in crisis/runaway but again, police procedures related to offering those services can be different based on your location or the details of your situation. Another thing to consider is that while running away is not a crime, a legal adult who allows you to stay with them may be putting themselves at risk for being charged with harboring a runaway. One way to find out the laws in your area is to call your local police and ask what their policies are regarding runaway youth.

        One service we can offer is to conference call with your parents. This way you could have a conversation with your parents but you would not be alone. For example, it may be hard for you to explain to your mom how you feel about her boyfriend and how it is affecting you. Sometimes those conversations go better in a conference call because we can advocate for you. If you want to reach us, you can chat with us anytime at 1800runaway.org or call us at 1-800-RUNAWAY. We’re here 24/7, and we are ready to listen and help however we can.

    • #4
      Thank you. I talk too my friends about this but they don't get it. Albert (my moms boyfriend) is really annoying. He threatened to shoot me today and i'm really scared. He was drunk and slapped my 7 year old cousin. He lied about cheating multiple times. My mom was going to break up with him but he shot her purse too scare her. My mom and I NEED HELP.

      Comment


      • ccsmod15
        ccsmod15 commented
        Editing a comment
        Hello! Thank you for reaching out today.

        You mentioned your mom’s boyfriend is abusive, and has gotten physical with your cousin. You’re really brave for reaching out to us, and letting us know what is going on in your home. With that being said, we care about your safety, and want you to be okay. If for whatever reason you are ever feeling unsafe you can text the word safe and your location to 44357. The National Safe Place should be able to send you a text to the nearest location to you, and if need be, a crisis worker will be out to assist you. Locations very by city and state, so it might be best to double check on their website at nationalsafeplace.org.

        In the same way, you can reach out to the national child abuse hotline at 1800) 422-4453. You will be able to talk to someone anonymous, and if need be, file a child abuse report. Another option you can explore, would be to talk to someone else in the family, or in your school about what is happening on at home with your mom’s boyfriend. There are plenty of people who care about you, and want to help you in any way possible.

        We hope that that resources and information provided to you today have can be of some help. If you need any additional information, or want us to call somewhere on your behalf, you can reach out to us anytime over the phone at 1800) 786-2929. Best of luck!

    • #5
      I HATE HATE HATE HATE my mothers boyfriend! He's always telling me what to do and bossing my around like he's my dad but he's not! For about 5 long years I've hated him! My mom always wants me to be nice to him and be all friendly but i can't take it anymore!! I'm 11 right now and i want to get away from my moms boyfriend soo badly! I just wish i could go live with my REAL DAD but NoOoO my mom doesn't want me to go! I HATE him so ********ING much!!

      Comment


      • ccsmod16
        ccsmod16 commented
        Editing a comment
        Hi,
        Thanks for reaching out; we are glad that you did. It sounds like you don't like your mom's boyfriend since you were a small child. It's understandable to have really hard and strong feelings about your parents splitting up and to focus that anger on someone else, like your mom's boyfriend.
        It sounds like you want to live with your biological dad, but it's not fully up to your mom. He would have to go to court to try to make that happen. Maybe you can ask him about that.
        You are welcome to talk more with us about your situation by calling our hotline at 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or via live chat through this website.
        We hope to hear from you soon.
        Sincerely,
        NRS
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