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i feel like dying because of all the problems at home

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  • i feel like dying because of all the problems at home

    i really hate being in my family. i’m forced into a religion that has so much sexism in it and everyday because of it and the level of strictness my parents have i’m verbally abused by them and they have started threatening to hurt me so many times. my dad grabbed me by the shoulder and neck and threatened to cut my throat with a knife. mentally i feel like breaking down and i’ve had so many anxiety and panic attacks from all of this and the constant yelling and verbal abuse stresses me out even more. my brother who is in my family has herpes and threatens to beat me up and hit me and give me herpes too for the smallest things ever. i’m so scared of him because he’s really strong and has beat up so many people and hit people in our family that i can’t handle him because his threats are serious. he has hit me before too and so many days he’s screaming and throwing things. even though i don’t have scars or bruises all over i don’t feel safe in my house. i’m scared of what might happen and my brother and when i told my parents about how i felt with him there are threatening me they didn’t care. my brothers could do anything and they wouldn’t care but my parents will break me down and verbally abuse me everyday because i am a girl. even the smallest things will have them screaming at me. this one guy i didn’t even know just added me on snapchat as and they started screaming at me and so much. i’ve been so depressed and i’ve wanted to go to my friend’s house so many times and just leave all of this but i know that will just lead to more issues since i’ll have to come back and i don’t know what to do. it’s not like i can stay over at a friends since i’m not allowed to have sleepovers either. i’m basically 14 and i can’t handle going through all of this for 4 more years. my parents and siblings don’t even care about mental issues or believe them they’ll just laugh in my face about it or make fun of me for it and the panic and anxiety attacks i’ve been having.

  • #2
    Hi there,

    Thank you for writing to us here at National Runaway Safeline (NRS). We understand it takes great courage to reach out, and we appreciate you sharing a little bit about what’s going on. It sounds like you’re quite overwhelmed by things at home right now and you mentioned experiencing really scary threats from your dad cutting your throat to your brother beating you. We’re sorry you’re going through this. You don't deserve to be hurt in any way. It's also really not okay that you are treated differently because you are a girl, you should be treated with basic human dignity and respect. You must be incredibly resilient for going through all of this.

    If you are at risk of any danger or feeling unsafe, we encourage you to reach out to 911 or seek emergency assistance immediately. You may also be able to report any mistreatment to CPS. Child Help USA 1-800-422-4453 is an organization that helps protect minors from being harmed. It may also be a good place to explore options for staying with another family member or someone you trust as far as transferring custody.

    You also mentioned having panic attacks and not having your mental health taken seriously at home. That must be such a difficult situation to deal with. If you haven't already, you might try to make a plan for how you will access support when you are feeling that way. If you have any supportive friends who you can contact them immediately, you might let them know how you are feeling and what your needs might be. You might also think about things you can do on your own that help you relax during those moments, things like listening to music, mindful activities (meditation, yoga, etc), or anything that brings you a sense of calm. You can always call us at 1-800-RUNAWAY or chat us at You can also text NAMI to 741741 or call 1-800-950-NAMI for support focused on your mental health. Please know that as much as it might feel like it, you are never alone.

    We hope this information is helpful. Please call or chat us for additional support.


    Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

    National Runaway Safeline
    [email protected] (Crisis Email)
    1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)

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