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  • 16 years old, need a way ou..

    I am 16 years old. I live with my grandfather. He has anger issues and sometimes lays his hands on only me. I have 2 younger siblings that he wont lay a hand on, but he will throw me against walls and grab me by the hair and everything. He is also emotionally abusive as he calls me names and insults me whenever he can. I have had several anxiety attacks to the point where I cannot breathe. I have tried to make the courts and cps, even tge sheriffs department help me, but he has so many friends in the systems that nothing is ever done. I will be 17 in August but I cannot live like this anymore. Hes told me he wishes my mother never had me and everything else. He threatens me with foster care and by saying he will "beat the living ******** out of me". Its gotten to the point where I hate being home, and I'm scared that one of these days he will actually do damage. No one will do anything about what he does and they always say I lie about it, because he acts nice to them. I have ran away before when I was 15 years old and the cops told me I was playing games and that they knew for sure that my grandfather was not doing the things I said. I need help because clearly New York State isn't going to do anything, I cannot live like this. I need to know if there is any way out of here as soon as possible.

  • #2
    Re: 16 years old, need a way ou..

    Hi there,

    Thanks for reaching out to the National Runaway Safeline about the situation at home. We’re so sorry to hear that you’ve been in an abusive situation for so long, and that you haven’t been able to get the help you needed from the courts, Child Protective Services (CPS), or the Sheriff’s department. You absolutely do not deserve to be abused by your guardian and have every right to want to change your situation.

    CPS helps many young people every day, but unfortunately it sounds like they did not provide you with the support you hoped to receive. Sometimes it is difficult for CPS to prove that there is abuse at home; however, it’s possible that they will be able to reopen your case if another abuse report is made. To help them prove that there is abuse at home, it helps to document every instance to the best of your ability. Writing down when and how you are abused is a helpful way to record what’s happening. Also, it may help to find somebody else to advocate on your behalf by filing the abuse report. A trusted adult like a teacher, counselor, somebody in your community, or family friend may be a good resource. You can also call one of our live NRS liners at 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929). All of our liners are required to report abusive situations to CPS, and may be able to help get you the support you need.

    You mention that you’re also interested in running away from home. Running away is a big step, so it may be useful to think through your plan as carefully as possible. There may be some shelters in your area where you can stay temporarily, although many shelters may require you to have your guardian’s consent, provide payment, speak to a counselor, or complete chores. You can get information on shelters near you by visiting www.homelessshelterdirectory.org, clicking on New York state, and then entering the city where you live. If you do run away, you may want to think about where you’ll be staying, how you’ll support yourself (food, money, transportation, shelter), what will happen if things become unsafe, how long you’ll want to be gone, and what you’ll do if the police take you back home. You can talk to one of our liners about any of these points in more detail, but be aware that if you let the liner know you are being abused and provide enough identifying information, the liner will be required by law to report the abuse to CPS.

    It’s clear that you’ve been dealing with a very difficult home environment for a long time now. You should be proud of yourself for being strong enough to get to this point. But again, you do not deserve to be abused every again. We hope that you’ve found some of these suggestions helpful. We’re happy to talk about your situation in more detail any time of the day, any day of the week, if you call 1-800-RUNAWAY. Good luck!

    Best,
    NRS
    Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

    National Runaway Safeline
    [email protected] (Crisis Email)
    1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)
    https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/YourOpinionMattersToUs

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