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I don’t know what to do

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  • I don’t know what to do

    Hello. I have recently been having problems at home and at school and I am seeking some advice. I am not sure who to reach out to, so I decided to try here.

    Recently, my parents have been very hostile and angry towards me. They purposefully try to get my angry, and then when I get angry they start yelling at me and it turns into a full fledged argument with screaming and crying. This most often happens between my mother and me. Then, when my father gets involved, he always submits to my mother’s side because he doesn’t want to deal with her scandals. They cannot separate because they recently bought a house together, and also had a baby together, my little brother.

    Another thing that they do is they treat me like I am five years old, which continuously gets on my nerves. They say that I need to act like a kid because I am a kid, and that I shouldn’t meddle in adult affairs. Keep in mind that I am nearly in high school. Whenever I start trying to tell them how to better act, they start arguing with me and telling me to stop acting like I have more wisdom than them. I will give you an example.

    My mother wants me to do the dishes, which I loathe doing. I tell her that I will do it later. She comes back in an hour, telling me to do the dishes again. As I start getting my stuff ready, ( I like to listen to music while doing the dishes ) my mother will come into my room and tell me to do the dishes again. This angers me, because I do not like it when people tell me what to do over and over again. My parents know this, yet they still do it. Why? To purposefully anger me is my best guess.

    Another thing is, my father thinks that I need to work on being a better person because I argue with him and my mother a lot. He got me this book called “How to Make Friends and Influence People.” I read it, and in that book it tells people how to best influence someone to do what they want. When I tried to tell my mother about this method, she got angry with me and told me to not try to teach her. I explained that I wasn’t trying to teach her anything, I was just giving her advice. She then continued to call me an old grandma and how I shouldn’t try to be wiser than an adult. This angers me, so I go upstairs to my room. My mother then goes up the stairs, and when I tell her I don’t want to talk to her, she starts yelling at me and breaking things in my room. Now, this may be a somewhat reasonable reaction, but keep in mind, I was not finished with what I was saying. I was going to say, “I don’t want to talk to you right now because I think that it is better if we cool down right now,” but obviously she won’t listen to a voice of reason.

    My father wants me to be a better person, and that is why he got me the book. Yet how am I supposed to be a better person to my parents, when all they do is anger me?

    That is why I started considering running away. I thought that this would give my parents time to think about how they were acting and how best to resolve the issues that we were having while I was gone. Then, when I came back, we could hopefully start being like a family again. Please help educate me in what to do in this situation, as I would not know where to go if I ran away.

  • #2
    Thank you for reaching out. It sounds like you’re having some rough times with your parents, and it’s understandable why you would feel frustrated, especially if your communication with them is breaking down. Dealing with parents can be very tough. You certainly don’t deserve to have your personal items broken, even when there are disagreements between you and your parents.

    Running away is a difficult decision to make. What will happen depends partially upon your age and location. If you are over the age of majority (which is 18 in most locations), you can move out on your own at any time you wish. If you are under the age of majority, running away is what is known as a status offense, which means that under most circumstances you won’t receive any legal consequences. However, if your parents file a runaway report and the police locate you, they will be required to bring you back to your parents.

    If you call us at 1-800-RUNAWAY or chat with us, we would be happy to discuss with you various options available to you. For instance, we could mediate a call between you and your parents, so that you could discuss with them the issues you are facing in a safer environment. We can also discuss what running away would entail, and ensure you have a plan to keep yourself safe.

    Thank you again for contacting us—we know you’re going through a difficult time, and it’s brave of you to ask for advice. We are available by phone or chat 24/7 if you’d like to discuss this further: 1-800-RUNAWAY. Best of luck to you.
    Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

    National Runaway Safeline
    [email protected] (Crisis Email)
    1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)

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