I’m 16, my relationship with my dad is toxic

[Guest]

All my life, for as far back as I can remember, my dad has been a toxic figure in my life. The reason I don’t say negative is because I still love him, but the relationship is definitely not good. I have considered running away since I was very young but I never went through with it because I was afraid of my dads reaction and worried I would never be trusted again. My dad makes me feel worthless, like I’m the most selfish girl in the world for wanting to see my friends and having a messy room. I’m not a bad kid, I’m flawed but I’m not bad. He makes me cry and breakdown constantly over little things, like missed texts or insect bites. He makes little things feel like the end of the world and I never feel free from him. He’s like a heavy weight on my shoulder all day. He is manipulative, controlling and emotionally abusive. I find it very difficult to say that because if he heard me say it he would break. I wonder if he realises that he is ruining his relationships with all of his children. We fight everyday all the time. I want to escape so bad because all of his mental illnesses have become my mental illnesses, he has just projected these feeling on me from the moment I was born. I don’t want to feel useless anymore, I don’t want to feel like a waste of space in my own home. But I still love my dad even though he has done so much bad stuff to me and my sister, and I don’t want to leave my mum to deal with my dad all on her own. Can anyone suggest a solution?

[ccsmod7]

Thank you for reaching out to us at the National Runaway Safeline. It sounds like you are in a difficult situation, and we understand it takes courage to reach out for help. The National Runaway Safeline is located in the United States of America (USA). Our knowledge of helpful community based resources and our understanding of youth in crisis related laws is limited to the USA. If you are located in a country outside of the USA, you can use this link to find a youth helpline in or around your country: https://www.childhelplineinternation...pline-network/.

We hope that by reaching out to a local resource, you are able to get the support you need from an organization that understands the laws and circumstances that affect youth in your country.