17 and ready to leave

[Guest]

I’m 17 years old, 18 next January, and have been on the receiving end of incessant abuse from both of my parents for almost 9 years.

i understand that the term ‘abuse’ is not one to be used lightly, and that many people dream of running away after a small argument with their parents or something, but my parents have been the root cause of my depression and heavily influence the instability of another mental illness I bear called borderline personality disorder.

I am the black sheep of my family, and despite my academic awards or the sacrifices I make for them or literally anything, there is no satisfying my parents. They adore my younger brother, revel him as the prize child of the family. And not to sound melodramatic, but I quite honestly am the failure, I’ll give them that. Mild drug use and a sexual past has painted me out to be a villain in their eyes, whereas my brother is so pure.

My school year ends in about two weeks. So desperately I want to leave. Given all of the arguments we have, it would be so easy to find a reason to escape. Maybe we could get into an argument end then I could raise my voice or something or start popping off. Usually i’m extremely calm but I think if I were to lash out, it would warrant a reaction from my parents to kick me out of the house. I already have a place to crash for the summer so I could do that. I don’t know, I just need advice.

[ccsmod7]

Thank you for reaching out to the national runaway safeline. No one deserves to be treated the way you describe.

It sounds like your parents are really hard to talk to. Are there any extended family members or family friends that you could talk to who might be able to influence them and help you feel listened to? Reading your message, it looks like you're looking for an excuse to move out of their house and that there has been a lot of tension lately. One of the most straightforward options might be to have a heart-to-heart with your parents about the idea of moving out for the summer. Having your parents' permission would sidestep all of the potential issues that could come from running away like you were talking about.

When a youth runs away without a guardian's permission, the parents are expected to file a runaway report with local police. If you are found you could be returned home.

It sounds like you don't feel heard or seen in your family life. Finding a counselor or family therapist may help you feel heard and respected in your home life, or it could just help you manage the symptoms of your depression and borderline personality disorder. If you are interested in seeking out these kinds of resources, please reach out to us by phone and we'll can help you find options.

We also encourage you to reach out by phone any time you feel like you're at your wits end. We are here to talk and listen and help you figure out your next steps, whatever they may be. We're open 24/7 year round and are completely confidential.

Thank you again for reaching out, and we wish you the best of luck.