Calling CPS on my parents..?

Hey my mom is calling me a lying and stuff and I don’t feel safe with her and my mom adopted me so can I move there

[ccsmod5]

Hi there,
Thank you for writing to us here at National Runaway Safeline (NRS). We understand it takes great courage to reach out, and we appreciate you sharing a little bit about what’s going on. It sounds like you’re quite overwhelmed by things at home right now and you mentioned being harmed. We’re sorry you’re going through this. You don't deserve to be hurt in any way, it sounds like the things your stepdad are doing are inappropriate and can be considered abuse. If you are at risk of any danger or feeling unsafe, we encourage you to reach out to 911 or seek emergency assistance immediately. You may also be able to report any mistreatment to CPS. Child Help USA 1-800-422-4453 www.childhelp.org is an organization that helps protect minors from being harmed. It may also be a good place to explore options for staying with another family member or someone you trust as far as transferring custody.
Often, having a safe space to share how you’re feeling may bring a variety of solutions previously not thought of. You are not alone in this. We want you to know that we are here as support to help you through this challenging time.
If you would like to talk more in detail please chat soon through our website www.1800runaway.org (click on the chat button) if you are unable to call in. We unfortunately cannot give advice as we are non-directive. You know your situation best
We hope to hear from you soon.
Be safe,
NRS

Hi I am a 11 year old boy and I live with my mom and step dad. Yesterday I got in trouble at school because we had an essay due and I finished it but when I turned it in my teacher emailed my mom saying that I copied my essay off of a website and that was half true because I only copied 2 paragraphs off of the internet but then after my step dad started spanking me then he called me outside(it was like 9:30 and I was freezing in my underwear) he told me to do 10 push-ups then when I was done he told me to do 50 squats and he told me to do that 10 times when I was done with everything he gave me a brick and told me to do 100 squats and when I was at 81 I messed up the count and he told me to start over. I probably did like 700 squats that night and when he said I could go back inside he told me to carry two bricks in the house everywhere i go and it’s already starting to make my arms ache and they took away all of my devices except my school computer which is what I’m typing this on and said I won’t get it back until June and they said if I keep this up their going to send me to military school

[ccsmod1]

Hello, and thank you for contacting the National Runaway Safeline. It sounds like you’re going through a very challenging time at home, and facing a lack of support from your mom when you could really use it. That must be awful, and it’s a good thing that you’re reaching out looking for support and asking about ways to take care of yourself right now.

It sounds like your mom is being very emotionally, medically and educationally neglectful toward you, and it makes sense that you’re feeling unsupported in your goals and and concerned for your wellbeing. No one deserves to be spoken to that way, particularly not in the wake of being raped, which is never your fault. It sounds like you know that you don’t deserve this hurtful treatment from her or anyone.

It makes sense that you’re feeling traumatized by both her treatment, and the way your father has yelled at you and physically abused you in the past as well. None of that is OK, and you don’t have to go through this alone. We at the NRS are available as a confidential, anonymous hotline 24/7 that you can all or chat us any time to talk about what’s been going on, and discuss options you have for making sure that you are safe getting your needs met, educationally and health-wise. You can contact us any time at 1-800-RUNAWAY. We can help you make a plan for what to do next.

If you’d like to report the abuse you’ve been experiencing at home, you can contact ChildHelp at (1-800) 422-4453. If you’d like help making a report or discussing how that would impact, we are available to talk you through it as well. it makes sense that you’re feeling afraid to contact CPS to report the abuse you’re experiencing, and worried about the consequences. It also makes sense that you feel like you have to. You want to take care of yourself and feel safe as you plan for the future. We at the NRS can talk through your options around that and make a plan for where to go, if you feel unsafe at home.

It’s never OK for someone to blame you for being raped. If you’d like to talk to someone about the violence you experienced and how to get mental and medical support around that, you can contact RAINN, the Rape, Abuse and Incest National Network, at 800.656.HOPE (4673).

You deserve to feel safe where you live, supported by your family in achieving your goals, and able to access the medical care and education that you need to be healthy and pursue your professional goals. You don’t deserve to be yelled at, punished for being raped, or threatened or hit. You don’t have to go through this alone; feel free to reach out to us or another hotline looking for support any time. Good luck!

I am 17 and the oldest of 5 kids. My mom is a covert narcissist so she is very controlling and needs people to be dependent on her.
My mom has neglected me medically, emotionally, and sometimes physically.
However, my main concern at this moment is educational neglect. My home is not a healthy place for me and college is the only way out of it, so I plan to go next year. Here is the educational situation:
She homeschooled me my whole life, but apparently starting in kindergarten, I was too "rebellious" for her to teach me, and I would cry when she taught me school. So she gave up on me and left me to learn my own material at 6 years old. She would provide me with curriculum, but I was fully teaching myself K-7th grade and was two years behind. I had gone years of my childhood without even picking up a school book. I wasn't able to teach myself anymore and was behind, so when I turned 14 I begged her to put me in public high school. I told my parents my concerns about how I am not being socialized, and how I barley have a real education. Both her and my dad screamed at me and yelled for me even asking the question. They wouldn't let me go. They said in one year they will consider it. One more year with no education came around, and they finally agreed to put me in high school, but the school said they would have to start me a year behind as a freshmen. My parents thought it would be a better idea to put me, a 15 year old, in community college instead. They put me in community college and I struggled because I barely had a prior education. I had never wrote an essay before and only knew basic math. I also got raped twice in college.

During quarantine home was very hard because my parents are emotionally and verbally abusive. My dad used to be physically abusive, but he has changed and hasn't done that in years, but I am still traumatized by it, and when they yell I have dissociative episodes. It got really bad, so I decided to run away a month ago. I ran away from Maryland to Texas on a plane to one of my best friend's house. When my mom found out, she called his mom and told her to "beat," "slap," "hit," and "punch" me.
Obviously his mom did none of those things and thinks my mom is crazy.
The police brought me back in 12 hours. When I got back home, my parents also found out I was raped. My mom was furious at me and screamed at me for it. She said it was my decision to be around boys so that's why I got raped. Basically blamed me for getting raped by two, much older, boys, in the college her and my dad put me in. She also asked another friend of mine's parents to punish her (my friend) because she knew about the rapes, and did not tell my mom.

In a rage of anger, she called the cops in the middle of the night without telling me, and I had to give a report. She didn't do that because she cared, it was a punishment. She also takes my phone regularly as punishment for getting raped, and took me out of community college because, by getting raped, I "lost my privilege"--not because it would keep me safe from rapists or anything-- it was only a punishment. She pulled me out of community college the two days before my online classes started--If i had finished that semester I would have had my associates and high school diploma by the end of it. She then put me back in homeschool, but is withholding my transcripts from me because she found out my plan to move out next year. She doesn't want me to leave the house so she refuses to write my transcripts. I don't know what classes I need to take to graduate high school if I have no transcript. She also threatened to, as my teacher, not sign me into any college if i move out.
I will pay for my own 10 year college (i need a phd for my degree), but my dad won't let me get a job.

Don't worry, she treats my siblings very differently and has enrolled some of them in public school, and an actual homeschool education with real online teachers. My siblings are very safe, and treated very well. It is just me that she treats this way because I am her first child. She is very controlling and if she doesn't give me my transcripts soon, I cannot graduate high school and go to a real college.
I don't know what to do. My situation would be so so much worse if I call cps because I would be in a ton of trouble, so i am scared to call them, but I feel like I have to.

[ccsmod15]

Hey there, thank you for reaching out to NRS,
You mentioned experiencing emotional abuse which may be reportable against your mom’s boyfriend. Please keep in mind you by no means deserve any type of abuse, emotional or otherwise. Unfortunately, emotional abuse is often harder to provide evidence for compared to physical abuse which is often what CPS relies on when conducting an abuse investigation. That said, we can’t be 100% sure what the outcome will be if your local CPS decides to open a case based on what you share. Sometimes CPS decides to remove minors from the home and other times they offer services such as family counseling or mediation instead. The only way to know the outcome might be to reach out to them directly and if you’re ready to do that we are here to help you through that process. Reaching out to Child Help USA at 1-800-422-4453 or www.childhelp.org may help to get a better understanding of what may happen before and after a report is made. It is certainly possible that you would be placed with your dad despite his disability, or it might be that your mom’s boyfriend ends up getting counseling or mandatory rehab or he can’t be around you without your mom present.
We hope this helps. Please reach out if we can offer any further support. If you would like to talk more in detail please chat soon through our website www.1800runaway.org (click on the chat button) if you are unable to call in. We unfortunately cannot give advice as we are non-directive. You know your situation best
We hope to hear from you soon.
Be safe,
NRS

Hi, my name is ****
mom not sure what to do. My moms boyfriend is verbally abusive he smokes weed which is illegal in my state. he is an alcoholic. He calls me a skank and stuff like that. He has 2 sons and one of them I fell in love with and now my mom doesn’t trust me. His other son snitches on me and tells his dad that I do nasty stuff when I don’t. My dad is disabled and blind so he can’t take care of us. Should I call cps or will they not let me see my mom anymore. Would they let me live with my disabled dad. I’m 15. Please help.

[ccsmod15]

Hello,



We are so glad you reached out to us. You are juggling a lot between both houses and not feeling safe or cared for in either. We appreciate you caring about how your siblings are treated as well. We want what is best for you and your siblings and can help talk you through your options.



You mentioned your sister may be having suicidal thoughts. If she has those thoughts, you can encourage her to call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 800-273-8255.



Additionally for your sister, as well as you and the rest of your siblings, we can help connect you with counseling services so you can care for your mental health during this difficult time.



Lastly, you mentioned considering calling CPS but not wanting to go live with your dad or be identified. We're glad you've thought through the pros and cons of each and what could potentially happen. Unfortunately, there is no way for you to remain anonymous. We can help you make the call, however, if you feel more comfortable that way.



You could also start to consider a family member you would feel safe with and see if they would be willing to let you stay with them in an alternative living arrangement. Your parents would still be your legal guardians but you would simply live in another house.



We want you to know that we care about your safety and that you have options. We encourage you to call us at 1-800-RUNAWAY or chat us at 1800runaway.org anytime, 24/7, so that we can help go over your situation in more detail.



Stay strong and safe and we hope to hear from you soon.

Hi, I am a 14 year old girl.
I have a split family. I go between my mom’s house and my dad’s house. Things are not so good at home right now and I’m trying to find a way to help resolve some of these problems. At my dads house, 3 of my cousins live there because my grandma has custody of them and she lives with my dad. I have a sister, who also goes between my mom and dads house. My dads house is a 3 bedroom house, with 5+ kids... leaving me and my sister with no bedroom and no bed to sleep in when we are there. My grandma is an alcoholic, she drinks nearly every night and yells and takes her anger out on the kids and I.
At my mom’s house, my mom is severely abusive to myself and my 3 siblings in a verbal way. She expects us to do 7+ hours of online school everyday, AND have the entire house cleaned up before she gets home from work. When she gets home, she sits down and watches television with my step dad for the rest of the night, and does nothing to help us kids. She plays victim when one of us call her out on her wrong doing, and yells and screams at us. She has even told me to go live with my dad because she “couldn’t handle” me anymore. She has told my 11 year old sister that she is a scum bag, and has said so many more terrible things to my sister leaving my sister severely depressed. My sister posted something on her Snapchat story saying “Kill me, I just want to ********ing die” because of the way my mom and step dad were treating her at the time, and when i showed my mom she just brushed it off and went about her day like it didn’t matter. My 16 year old brother had a very bad mental breakdown today, and was crying when my mom came home from work... And instead of comforting him, my mom told him to “stop looking for sympathy”. There was a situation about a year ago, where my mom and I had gotten into a disagreement, leading me to threaten leaving the house, and my mom said to me “Bye felica!”, leaving me very hurt and i felt very uncared for and unwanted. My 13 year old sister has a dog that is not even a year old yet. When the dog uses the bathroom in the house, my mom and step dad yell at my sister for it and hit the dog so hard that he yelps.
I am debating on turning my mother in to CPS, but I would want it to be anonymously and I’m not sure how that would work.
Also, if I turn her in and CPS decides that we should not be on her care, I do NOT want to go to my dads, and I will NOT go to my dads where my alcoholic grandmother lives, and where I have no bedroom or no bed. So I am worried about where I would be placed.

please. give me advice. there is so much more that is going on but i do not want to get into it right now.

[ccsmod15]

Hey there,
Thank you for reaching out to us here at the National Runaway Safeline (NRS). It sounds like you are experiencing a really difficult time at home. We are here to help in any way we can.
You mentioned that your parents are unsupportive of you and your gender identity. That can be so hard to express yourself as you are to your parents and for them to not accept who you are. The Trans Lifeline is a great resource transgender people experiencing a crisis. Their website is www.translifeline.org and their hotline number is 1-877-565-8860. If you think it would help to talk to other LGBT youth your age about what you are going through, the number for GLBT National Youth Talkline is 1-800-246-7743, and their website is www.glbthotline.org/youth-talkline.html.
You said that CPS has been called on your parents before. It sounds as like you are enduring mental and emotional abuse and you feel unsafe. Child abuse is never okay and no child should have to endure that. Childhelp is the National Child Abuse Hotline, and they are a great resource for children who are experiencing abuse for resources and to potentially file an abuse report. Their number is 1-800-422-4453 and their website is www.childhelp.org. If you ever find yourself in immediate danger, please call 911.
You also said that you have had suicidal thoughts and feel like one of your only options is suicide. It can be very isolating if you do not have contact with your friends and you do not feel support from the people in your life. The Trevor Lifeline is a 24/7 line for LGBT youth contemplating suicide. Their phone number is 1-866-488-7386 and their website is www.thetrevorproject.org.
We are so glad that you reached out to us tonight. You are going through an extremely hard time, but there are resources for you, and it is great that you are seeking them out. If you want to talk through any of these more in depth, or if you are making a plan to run away and want to get information, resources, and figure out the safest way to do so, please give us a call at 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or feel free to use our chat on 1800runaway.org. We are a 24/7, completely confidential safeline. Here to listen, here to help.
Best of luck,
NRS

im a 13 year old transgender boy from Atlanta, my parents are awful to me. they're unsupportive and refuse to listen to my psychiatrist and therapist. they constantly nit pick at me for every little thing whether its my appearance, something i say, the way i act, etc. they've prompted my self harm, suicidal thoughts, and thoughts of running away. my dad put a hole in the wall behind my door from slamming it open and he's gone thru my room and thrown everything away. my mom threw all my clothes away and bought girls clothes that she keeps in her bedroom. they made me take out my lip ring, and change my appearance to how they want it to be. i have little contact with any of my friends. they wont even let me shower on my own, because they dont trust me. CPS has been called on them before and i want them to take me away so badly. i hate it here, i just want an escape. at this point i feel my only options are the get CPS called on them again, run away, or commit suicide. i feel unsafe and extremely unhappy here, i have no privacy at all even online and im not allowed to have a social life. i want help, im scared.

[ccsmod1]

Hey there,

Thanks for reaching out to us. Sorry to hear that things have been difficult at home. Home should be a comfortable and safe environment, and it sounds like you aren’t getting that right now. It is wrong for someone to hit you, and you do not deserve to be treated this way by your parents. Parents should act supportive, especially when you are going through difficult times. It makes sense that you feel belittled when they treat you this way. It is good that you have your siblings and online friends to be supportive of you. It may also help to seek out trusted adults that can help you. This could be a school counselor, a teacher, or another relative like an aunt or uncle. Ultimately you cannot control your parents’ actions. But, people like social workers can help you react in a way that may make things better.

You mentioned your mom hitting you, which is never okay. It is understandable to be nervous about contacting CPS, but ultimately your safety is the most important thing. If you decide to file an abuse report, you can contact our hotline (1-800-RUNAWAY) or go to Childhelp.org for help filing the report. It also sounds like you are thinking about leaving home. Again, your safety is the most important thing, and it is important to have a safe plan, like where you would go and what you would do. We highly encourage you to call us on our hotline to make a safety plan if you are thinking about leaving home. It’s difficult when you feel like your parents aren’t being supportive. Hopefully taking steps like reaching out to trusted adults for help and continuing to lean on friends for support will help. We are here 24/7 if you need us, thanks for reaching out.

Stay safe,
NRS

I'm a 15 year old guy, and my parents are in their early forties. for about four years now my parents have treated me much worse than my siblings and I just want out, but I also feel like I'm overreacting about this and If I tell anyone about this then my parents are gonna hear and things are gonna get worse. for about three years until about a year ago my mom would hit me over the dumbest things and call me a baby when crying cause she's hitting me for reasons such as not eating all of dinner because I'm full and locking me In the garage because of it. things just as drastic as this have happened until about a year ago when we recently moved and my mom was joking about my bad Spanish (she's fluent) based on my bad grades. when I leave the room to escape her laughing with my dad at me she pulls my ear pretty hard so I lightly brush It off and say that It hurt. She screams at me saying I hit her and just starts slapping me and yelling and saying how disrespectful I am and other things I can't remember. after about an hour of screaming at me for "hitting" her I finally start yelling back and after about an hour or two she, for the first time ever, was reluctantly convinced that hitting me wasn't okay, but was Insistent that I had hit her, which I'd never do since that's what happens If I do. after that night, I don't think she's hit me since but she's found other ways of making me feel awful such as random comments of belittlement and random sparks of bad attitude that lead to the whole family having a trashy day. I In the past year have turned to online friends since I rarely get to see IRL friends anymore since I'm constantly grounded. and I've gotten Into the habit of waking up late doing everything I'm told to do, even If It's never enough, and wait until everyone Is asleep so I can hang out with people I enjoy being with. Anytime they catch me staying up even If it's Christmas break or a Saturday and I wake up on time they only care about the fact that I'm choosing to talk to people when no one else Is around. The reason being that I can't be myself around my parents, my feelings are denied and I don't believe In a lot of wat they do which Is fine but It turns to judgmental belittling about topics that apply to me and when I try to talk about It I get screamed at and told that It isn't how I feel or whatever the case may be. I've had a panic attack at school before and when I told my mom on the drive home she without question laughed and said that I didn't, didn't even ask me anything. most of the tension between me and my parents stems from me being up and my trash grades which aren't getting better and I've resorted to just not doing It properly because I realized I'm wasting my time. My mom Is generally the worse parent but as soon as I mess up or forget something or anything my dad Is the one to make my head hurt by screaming. I genuinely care about them and have tried to connect with them through things I enjoy doing such as card games but ultimately end up having them yell at me cause of a rule and leave the table. My siblings are pretty great In general tbh and I'm super glad that I have them. I don't know If calling CPS Is the right thing plus I don't wanna ruin the family or cause them to be unable to keep a job and make life for my five siblings as bad as how they treated me or worse. I want a peaceful way out but I doubt that's even possible.

[ccsmod3]

Hey there. Thanks for reaching out to us here at NRS. We know that it can take a lot of courage to reach out for support, and we're glad you did. It sounds like you're in a tough spot and trying to find the best way to let your mom that you're no longer interested in living with her. Because you're legally an adult, making that step is entirely up to you. It's definitely understandable to be concerned about your children's health if they're being exposed to secondhand smoke. Communicating with your mom about how you're feeling might be a good starting point, perhaps even directly asking her if she can avoid smoking in your home. If you're in a space where you firmly no longer want to live with her and she refuses to leave, it might be a good idea to look up your state's information on evictions. Many times if you live somewhere colder, you cannot legally evict someone during the winter months. If you have a lease, it's also a good idea to review it and have an understanding of who is on the lease. If both of you are, unfortunately you won't be able to just kick your mom out. The lease is a binding agreement that both of you signed. Another option might be for you, your fiancé, and your children to move. Either way, it sounds like communicating with your mom might be a really good starting point for you to determine next steps.

Good luck.

NRS

Hi there I'm a 27 year mother with two kids. I have a mother in law who treats me like ********. She calls me names like **********, stupid, and a ********ing moron. She acts like I'm stupid. Not only that she smiles in her room where the boys like to go in and talk to her. I dont think she realizes that she is causing secondhand smoke. She claims that she is worried about their health but I'm most certainly am.

When my mother was pregnant with me she smoked that's how I know about my health problems. But my kids health is my concern. I need to know what I can do to help my kids get away from their grandmother who lives with me and my fiance. I need help