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Calling CPS on my parents..?

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  • #16
    hi.
    im a 15 year old girl that has a 9 year old sister,my mom lives in France because of visa problems but my dad is of course living with us and taking care of us. my dad sometimes hits my sister and I to the point where we’re scared of him even lifting a hand,he’s very verbally abusive with me and calls me horrible names that make me cry and want to hurt myself or even worse. I’ve been tempted to call CPS a couple of times but I don’t want to be taken away from my sister. my dad apologizes and stuff but I don’t believe him anymore , it’s happened too many times
    i need advice. Please help.

    Comment


    • ccsmod0
      ccsmod0 commented
      Editing a comment
      Hi there,

      Thank you for writing to us here at National Runaway Safeline (NRS). We understand it takes great courage to reach out, and we appreciate you sharing a little bit about what’s going on. It sounds like you’re quite overwhelmed by things at home right now and you mentioned being harmed. We’re sorry you’re going through this. You don't deserve to be hurt in any way. If you are at risk of any danger or feeling unsafe, we encourage you to reach out to 911 or seek emergency assistance immediately. You may also be able to report any mistreatment to CPS. Child Help USA 1-800-422-4453 www.childhelp.org is an organization that helps protect minors from being harmed. They can tell you more about how CPS could respond to your situation. If you ever need assistance calling out to CPS to make an abuse or neglect report please call is at 1-800-RUNAWAY.

      Often, having a safe space to share how you’re feeling may bring a variety of solutions previously not thought of. You are not alone in this. We want you to know that we are here as support to help you through this challenging time.

      If you would like to talk more in detail please chat soon through our website www.1800runaway.org (click on the chat button) if you are unable to call in. We unfortunately cannot give advice as we are non-directive. You know your situation best

      We hope to hear from you soon.

      Be safe,
      NRS

  • #17
    i am a 16 year old nonbinary kids who lives in texas. i believe my parents have been abusing me my entire life, unintentionally however because their parents were abusive too, thus my parents dont know how to parent. ever since i was little my parents would spank me for getting lower than an A on any grade, and if my mom was super mad she would grab me and hit me several times and then proceed to yell at me. she also threatened to “pull my pants down and spank me in public”. as i got older they stopped hitting me frequently, but sometimes if they get really made they slap me. their expectations of my school work have driven me to tears because i got a B on a daily assignment. they dont enforce grades as much as they did before but they still get on my case a lot about grades. even when i ask my dad for help after he offers and then tell him i dont understand after he explains something to me, he gets irrationally angry and starts yelling.

    the main thing is the fact that i have friends online. ive been online since seventh grade, im a junior now, and they found out about my friends late sophomore year. they took away all my electronics and basically isolated me from the people i cared about. i know theres stigma around online friends but i can confirm the people i consider my found family are quite real. i am quite aware on how to spot a pedophile from miles away, as i dealt with cosca for three years with a man who turns 20 this november. anyway, when my parents found out about them they took away my phone, laptop, and school issued ipad. they told me that because i had online friends my grades were low and they told me that i was “emotionally stunted” because i never learned to socialize with real people, even thought i have friends at school. my parents kept all my technology for about a month, and during this time i sought out an alternate piece of technology, which a close family friend gave to me without question. my sister (12) caught me on it, but i told her not to tell, but she ratted on me anyway. this resulted in my parents going absolutely ballistic, and they tore apart my room to try to find the phone. when i told my mom i wasnt going to give her the phone she grabbed me by the hair and hit my until i pushed her away and ran to the guest room. she followed me and kept yelling and interrogating me until i just started scream-crying. eventually i gave up the phone and they made me sleep on the floor in their bedroom. the day after this they acted like everything was normal while i was entirely on edge and scared. i dont know if this was a proper reaction on their part, i guess i had lied to them for several years, but i just dont know. then fast forward a month, my parents give me technology back, and promptly install screen time on it. my mom demands me to give her the password to my phone so she can check my phone when she wants. through all of this, ive kept in contact with all my friends, online and irl, as best as i could, using methods id rather not say in case my parents somehow find this post and take those away too.

    once school started, i got tired of screen time and decide to use money i got for my birthday to buy a burner phone for myself. this only lasts me a week, because im stupid and let myself get caught by my mom. i told them that i had bought it myself and had it shipped to me. my mom threw the phone at me, picked it up and threw it again, and then grabbed a hammer and tried to smash it on the counter. there is still a dent in the granite now. i dont know how it escalated but my dad ended up forcing me into the car and driving me to a local mental hospital, yelling at me the whole time about how i “had a problem” and “didnt care about the family” and how im “selfish and dont think about the consequences of my actions”. i mean, i guess sometimes im impulsive, but i have adhd so its difficult for me to do that. my dad kept calling me names too like “piece of ********” or calling me “full of ********”. he ended up taking me back home after thoroughly threatening me and telling me he “didnt want to make me go to the hospital” and when i stayed silent he told me that if i had the fact that i went to the hospital on record it would be bad for my future. when we got home my mom was ready with a drug test, which was a urine sample, and my dad stood in bathroom while i did it, which was humiliating. throughout all this ive been dissociating and trying to remove myself from the situation. my mom called me a “social deviant” and a bunch of other names. i dont remember a lot of that night, but i vividly remember them telling me we were “having a mature conversation” and then they would yell and curse and threaten and call me names. i was hugging my plushie and at one point my mom ripped it out of my hands and cut it up with scissors even though i asked her to stop a bunch of times. eventually they let me go to bed around 12 am and i had to sleep on the couch in our living room. my mom would periodically just come and stand by where i was and just stare at me while breathing heavily. i was pretending to sleep while she did this. i didnt get that much sleep that night.

    the next messed up thing i remember my parents doing is after i had a therapy session and my mom found out i told my therapist she hit me. she got really angry and told me i shouldnt think of her as my mother anymore and made me feel guilty for telling someone that she hit me. my parents finally gave me my technology after a fight and my mom shouting “i give up” and “youre hopeless” and throwing all my technology at me. things were fine for a while i guess. i was still scared around them and i still am now. right now they believe i am not online.

    over winter break they turned on screen time without saying anything, which upset me and my mom and i nearly got into a screaming match in public so i decided to take a walk while she called my dad to complain about me. she got really mad and called me several times because i ignored the first few because i was angry. she told me i embarrassed her in public and that made her look bad. after that we went home and ignored each other and didnt mention it.

    then, most recently, i got upset because my mom agreed with my doctor that my entire family was “walking on eggshells” around me. (my doctor is a family friend who i cannot confide in because she might tell my mom. she has only heard my moms side of the story). my mom told me that if she says anything i will get upset, which isnt true because i only get upset when she says rude and untrue things. she went to bed mad and then the next day when she got in the car to take me somewhere she just started yelling and criticizing me. at one point she said “why are we doing this” and just stopped in the middle of the road, and then got even more mad when i answered “i dont know” and kept driving. then when a care pulled out in front of us to exit a neighborhood she didnt even try to stop the car. we could have crashed. when we finally got to the place where i do my extracurricular activity, she dropped me off and left even though i had my equipment in the car. i called my dad because he was actually being level headed and told him what was happening and he called my mom and talked to her. i dont know what he said but my mom ended up coming back, giving me my stuff, yelling at me, told me that she was “running away, buts not like you care” and then when she turned to leave she told me she hoped i would be happy living without her. my dad had to pick me up and take me home. later that day my dad attempted to mediate a conversation between us but i got really upset. i think it may have been my bottled up anger finally overflowing because i screamed a lot through tears. my dad had ended up taking my moms side because she said i “didnt take initiative and didnt respect her”. its like nothing i do is good enough i guess. my mom got irritated and said “so youre allowed to lash out and im not?” and i got really mad and screamed “I AM 16 AND YOURE ALMOST 50, YOURE THE PARENT NOT ME” i dont know if that was the right thing to do but its over and done with now. i stormed off after that and stayed in my room and my parents didnt bother me. i ended up having to contact the suicide hotline. my mom later came up and apologized but it just didnt seem like enough.

    now my parents have turned off all my data, have turned on screen time for me, ******** talk me in their text messages, use the camera in the house to spy on me, and take away random things like the xbox controllers because my mom gets irrationally suspicious. im not sure what to do. my parents are nice too sometimes and put me on meds because ive tried to kill myself several times. they tell me they care about me and feed me and buy me nice things so im just really conflicted. my parents treat my sister like this sometimes but i get the brunt of this. i dont know what im going to do if i call cps because if i am kept in this living situation and we get family therapy it wont help, weve tried it before. i dont know if theyll take my sister from our house either. i just dont know what to do and im really scared. the thing is i dont want to fix things with my parents because i think our relationship is hopeless. but if im removed from my honme they probably wont support me for college or anything like that. i dont know what kind of support cps provides but i just dont want my opportunities to vanish because i report my parents to cps. and if they close an investigation after they tell my parents i reported them everything will get so much worse. please help me.

    Comment


    • ccsmod2
      ccsmod2 commented
      Editing a comment
      Hello There,
      Thank you for reaching out to The National Runaway safeline, we are here to help and here to listen.
      Wow it seems like you are going through a really difficult time right now. You have mentioned being abused, which is not acceptable and we are sorry that you are dealing with all of that. You do have the right to file an abuse report you can do this by calling Child help at : 1800-422-4453. Another option would be to speak with a school counselor about what has been going on because they are mandated reporters they would make an abuse report.
      You also mentioned getting all your electronics taken away, which seems difficult if that is how you communicate with your friends. It does seem like you are determined to keep in contact with your friends online and in real life which makes you seems like a really good friend.
      It seems like a lot of their punishment is really scary, especially cutting up your plushie and hammering your phone. You may consider talking to a therapist about all of this because it can be really difficult to deal with this alone. One resource that may be helpful to you is called NAMI (national alliance for mental illnesses). They can be reached at 1800-950-NAMI.
      Also it may be good to confide in a friend or trusted adult about everything that has been going on at home. Sometimes it is great to have support from family members or friends.
      With a lot going on sometimes it may be helpful to call us so we can better assist you. We are here 24/7 to listen and provide support. We want you to know that you are not alone and someone is always willing to listen. We wish you the best of luck!
      NRS
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