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  • Problems At Home:

    Age: 13 (14 in July)
    Location: Los Angeles

    I just today got into some problems with my mother.

    This has gone on for a while and I don't know how much longer I can put up with this.

    My mother and I are complete opposites.

    My mother wants me to do well in school, however I have my own beliefs on school, anyway, I do mess up a lot, but whenever my mom gets mad at me, she beats me, drags me by hair, curses me out,ect.
    Once when my younger brother tried to take up for me, my mother accused us of having a sexual relationship.
    My mother says that I will never become anything good unless I do as she says, and she often trashes my dreams of becoming a fashion designer and singer.
    I have entertained the thought of running away since I was 10 years old, however, I have been to afraid to do so, my mother tells me that kids get kidnapped, and killed or whatever.
    If they run away from home, but I am originally from Ohio, which I have family there.
    I plan that if things do get any worse, that I will tell someone and try and get my family in Ohio to send for me so I can live there.
    I really want to have a good relationship with my mom, really bad, because my mother, younger brother and I have been through so much together, but over the years as I get older, I have learned to think for myself, and with that happening, I have separate thoughts about the things that I want to do and what my mom wants me to do, and that has separated the both of us.
    I really am trying to stick it out until I turn 16 and can get my own job and provide for myself, and would much rather stay with family than in a foster home, due to the fact that kids do get raped and beat in foster care.

    If you have any ideas that could help me, please share them.

    Thank you for reading.

  • #2
    Re: Problems At Home:

    Hi there,

    Thank you for contacting us and sharing your story on our online forum. It sounds like you’ve been through a lot and are trying to make your situation better. It sounds like you care a lot about your relationship with your mom and your younger brother so it makes sense that you would be uncertain of how to leave and still have them be part of your life. At the same time, it seems like thing with your mom aren’t going well. It must have been hurtful when she accused you and your brother of having more than a sibling relationship. You deserve to be spoken with respect.

    Second of all, you don’t deserve to endure abuse, physical or emotional. Your mom has no right to hurt you. Have you ever told anyone about what has been happening at home? Maybe a relative, a family friend, school friend, a teacher, or a counselor at school? It’s great to hear that you feel well supported by your relatives in Ohio. Maybe they can help in other ways. Perhaps one of them could talk to your mom on your behalf. Maybe there’s someone who can help mediate a conversation between the two of you to help her understand how her actions are making you feel. Perhaps having someone to talk to about what you have been dealing with can help reduce some of that stress you've been feeling.

    Reporting abuse is also an option. We know that this can be really intimidating and really difficult for a lot of people. Here's a little bit of information in case that's an option that you're considering. If abuse is happening at home, you have the right to report it to the proper authorities. If you feel like this is an option you want to explore, you may find this website helpful: https://www.childhelp.org/child-abuse/. We can also help you to file a report if that’s the route you are considering.

    It sounds like you are concerned about foster care. No one can predict exactly how child services would respond if you made a report, but foster care is typically only an option if there are no other relatives who can house the youth. Not to say that foster families are perfect, but they do go through a screening and background checks before they can take in kids. Child Help USA could probably speak a little bit more on some of the outcomes of abuse reporting if you get in touch with them.

    We hope this is helpful and whether you decide to stay at home or leave, we hope that you contact us directly if you want to keep talking about your how you can be safe.

    Stay strong,
    NRS
    Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

    National Runaway Safeline
    [email protected] (Crisis Email)
    1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)

    Tell us what you think about your experience!
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