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My mother is emotionally abusive and I've thought about running away.

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  • My mother is emotionally abusive and I've thought about running away.

    Hi, I am 12 years old and my mother is constantly guilt tripping me, insulting me, belittling me, and grabbing me in an abusive manner. I don't know what to do, my dad is constantly working so he gets home late; which constantly leads to my mom taking out her anger and frustration on my sisters and I. I can't escape her rude commentary ever, because she works in the office and my school. Yesterday night was the last straw for me, I ate another piece of pizza, simply because I was hungry, and my mom flipped out. She yelled at me and called me a stupid f***, grabbed me forcefully and shoved me. She insults me constantly using, very offensive profanity. She gives me horrible anxiety, even when she just calls me. I wasn't sure I should reach out out of fear that it would make my situation worse, but I think this could help. I need some advice.

  • #2
    Hi there, thanks so much for reaching out to us here at NRS. It is a great first step and takes a lot of strength to talk to someone about what has been going on. We are going to brainstorm a few things here that may be options and if you can reach out again by calling us at 1-800-RUNAWAY or chat us at 1800runaway.org, we would love to hear from you to talk further about them or other options as well.

    It sounds like you are in an incredibly hard situation at home as you said you are being treated in an abusive manner by your mom. If you feel in danger it is okay to call the police/911 and you have the right to do so. It is not okay to be insulted or physically grabbed by anyone including your mom. You do not deserve that. Have you talked to anyone about what has been going on? Someone like a school counselor, adult, friend, or family member you trust could help if you want to talk about how you are feeling or report what has been going on. Although your mom does work at your school, it can be helpful if you want to brainstorm some support systems that can help you cope or report what is going on. We know you did mention your dad works late, but it could be an option to talk to him about what has been going on and see if there can be discussions about how your mom has been treating you and your sisters. It can be an option to try to set up a family meeting with your mom, dad, and sisters to talk about how your mom’s behavior has been affecting you. You do not have to do this alone, you can always reach out to support systems like a friend or a friend’s family to help advocate for you too.

    A teacher/school counselor could help you with the process of reporting and what that could look like, and if you do talk about being abused to someone in the school, they are mandated reporters meaning they would have to pass along what they know to Child Protective Services. Another option could be to reach out to Child Help (1-800-422-4453) to talk about what reporting is like and if you want to report they can help you do so. (if not, just do not share identifying factors like your name, address, your dad’s names, ect). We are always here for you as well if you want to explore reporting too or just talk what has been going on too or explore other options. If you also wanted to make a report, we are always here to advocate for you too as we are mandated reporters too. If you want to share those identifying factors we mentioned, we can help make a report with you. If you just wanted to talk about what has been going on and not make a report, we can continue to do so like we are now confidentially as long as you don’t share those identifying factors.

    It sounds like from what you’ve shared that what has been going on has caused you to feel anxious and fearful. Something you can think about is coping mechanisms that can help ease your anxiety if you feel comfortable. Some things that you can think about are activities like journaling to help gather your thoughts. Keeping a record like a journal can help organize how you are feeling and also keep a record of what has been going on at home if you do decide to report. Furthermore, some resources can be helpful too to help if you wanted to look into some options. NAMI (National Alliance on Mental Illness) is a really great resource that can offer many options like supportive services of counseling, social support, etc. They can be reached at 1-800-950-NAMI or you can text NAMI to 741741.

    We are also always here to talk and listen. We are really glad you reached out. We truly care about you and your safety is very important and if you ever feel in danger, you always have the option to call 911. Don’t hesitate to call or chat us at any time as we are 24/7. We hope to hear from you soon!

    Best,

    NRS
    Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

    National Runaway Safeline
    info@1800runaway.org (Crisis Email)
    1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)

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