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Should I leave?

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  • Should I leave?

    I have an older sister, dad, and mom. I live with the three of them. I'm 18 years old. I don't have a job. I live in New Jersey. What has been going on is a lot of anger, frustration, confusion, fear, and sadness. This has been going on ever since I was in elementary school. I'm now a senior in high school. The situation is only getting worse.

    When I little, and still going to elementary school, my dad would always be dismissive. My mom would pull my hair. My sister would call me insults and she tried choking me once. In middle school, I had to go see a therapist since my middle school thought I was depressed and had an eating disorder. I was getting bullied in middle school. I eventually turned to self harm as a way to cope. Eventually, I wanted to end my life. I attempted suicide twice. For the rest of my 7th grade year and beginning of 8th grade, I was homeschooled. During 8th grade, I transferred to a middle and high school. My school I'm at now has both middle schoolers and high schoolers.

    My parents have been yelling at me. They have been insulting me a lot. My dad has been yelling at me because my grades are not what he expects from me. I get honor role grades (A and B), which are good grades. My mom has been yelling at me because she doesn't like my hair. She says it looks like a rat's nest. I wash and brush my hair every single day, so I don't see how my hair looks like a rat's nest. My mom has also been stealing from me. My mom has actually gone into MY DIARIES and ripped pages out. My sister still insults me. She calls me plenty of curse words. My parents are also trying to break my friendships. My friends are good people who don't do anything wrong.

    On Sunday, May 12, 2019, I realized that this isn't okay. My mom comes into my room to give me my medicine, because I have epilepsy. I was tired since I barely got any sleep the previous night, so I said "not right now. 5 more minutes". That's normally fine, but my mom says "you know what? I'm taking your tablet away until you take your medicine". My mom leaves my room, and after 5 minutes, I get up and take my medicine. When I asked for my tablet back, my mom says that I can't have my tablet back. This annoys me, so I reminded her that she said that if I take my medicine, I will get my tablet back. My mom rolls her eyes and then returns my tablet to me. I decide not to say anything, because I didn't want the situation to get worse. As I go back to my room, since I spend almost all day in my room avoiding all three of my family, my mom throws a fit about what happened, and lies about what happened between us to my dad. My dad gets so pissed off at me, although my mom was lying, he comes into my room. I try to explain what actually happened, and he dismisses me. Even when I tried to explain, my dad interrupted me. My dad took a step closer to me, and his face showed anger. I thought my dad was going to punch me in my face. I was scared. He yells at me " I don't want you in my house. Leave!" I reply "Fine. I'll pack a bag and leave!", but then my dad says that he didn't mean it. I don't trust my parents or my sister.

    My friend says that I could live with her and her family. I met her family, and they are kind. I don't want to live with my real family. I want to live with my friend and her family. I don't know about laws though. I don't want to get my friend and her family into trouble. If I can live with my friend and her family legally, how will I escape living with my mom, dad, and sister?

  • #2
    Hi there,

    You mentioned wanting to know how you can leave home before turning 18. The easiest way to leave home is with your parent’s permission. We understand that might be challenging, however, maybe there’s another family member, relative, or a family friend who could help to communicate how you’re feeling to your paremts. The second way is through Child Protective Services if safety is a concern. Lastly, you can also look into emancipation options. In most states you need to be at least 16 to be considered and demonstrate that you can support yourself financially and independently. Emancipation often can be a lengthy process and may even cost some money for court fees. We would be happy to look into legal resources if that’s something you are considering.

    Please reach out soon so that we may offer support and resources to you. Our number is 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929).

    Be safe,

    Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

    National Runaway Safeline
    [email protected] (Crisis Email)
    1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)

    Tell us what you think about your experience!


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