I want to leave.

[Unregistered]

My mom got remarried 7 years ago to who is now my stepdad. I've always hated him. He took away a lot of what I had, and as I'm nearing my 18th birthday nothing has changed since I was 11. Except for more rules and restrictions.

While I'm about to move out in 4 months, he keeps grounding me and getting me in trouble for the dumbest things. He gets mad aatg me for the smallest things that wouldn't bother anybody else, I get yelled at, especially when my mom isn't home. These days, however, she seems to stick to his side more rather than her daughter's.

My question is, can I move in with my dad early? I don't want to make a huge court case about it, but I'm exhausted with fighting every day, being scared, and thinking everything I'm doing is wrong. I was planning on waiting for my birthday so I could move out, but I don't think I can wait that long.

I should also point out that my stepdad will call me stupid, dumb, restrict me from having a normal life (I can't go out at all during the week, my internet is restricted to an hour a day, and I have to put away my phone at 7pm). He comments on what I wear, and nine times out of ten it's inappropriate, things that my mom should be pointing out, not him. It makes me very uncomfortable. Even now, on spring break, I can't go out. And I wasn't grounded.

I'm grounded right now for responding to a text message while I was out with him, and I really don't know what I did wrong. I think he's trying to make me mess up. He also has put his hands on me aggressively in the past and has almost come close to it a few weeks ago. Whatever the case, moral of the story is I want to leave, I want to be happy, I don't want my success as a person to be hindered by him because my emotional health is in jeopardy.

I also never yell, I stay calm when people are upset with me. I've been taught more to be submissive rather than stand up for myself, and lately I've been standing up for myself more, because I think I deserve it.

Thank you for any and all responses!!

[ccsmod15]

Re: I want to leave.

Hello,
Thank you for reaching out to us. It is hard to reach out for support but you were brave enough to do so. We are sorry that you are going through this tough time in your life. It sounds like you are dealing with a lot at home ever since your stepfather has been in the picture. They are very strict and have made a lot of restrictions on you. It makes you feel hopeless and you are worried it will hinder your goals. You want to leave early to live with you dad.
You did mention there are close times of physical responses from your stepdad and we want to be sure you feel safe at your home. You do have the option of reporting this behavior and starting a case. You can get more information about reporting at Child Help USA and their number is 800-422-4453.
One thing you can consider is having a talk with your mother and stepdad about moving in with your father a little early. We imagine that will not be an easy conversation but it can be a start. If you think it will help the conversation go well maybe your dad can be included in the conversation so that he can advocate for you.
If you are having trouble with getting permission to move with your dad sooner you may want to consider how you will get through the next few months at home. If you are able to involve yourself in activities outside of the home, like after school programs, summer programs, sports, or work, it may help you get through until your 18th birthday.
We hope that we were helpful for you. If you wish to talk more about any of these options or additional option you can definitely call us at any time at 800-RUNAWAY (786-2929). You can also chat with us if prefer. We hope that everything works out for you.
Best wishes,
NRS