I don't know what to do

[Unregistered]

I'm contemplating running away but I'm scared to because I live in a small town and have nowhere to go. I went through a very abusive situation at home regarding an adopted sibling that even threatened to kill me a few times before my parents made her leave the house because it was dangerous (she's 1. During that time period I suffered from suicidal thoughts, self harmed a few times, and feel into a deep depression along with major anxiety the beginning of what I've been told could be EDNOS and possible PTSD that my parents refuse to get help on even with the suggestions of health care professionals. On top of that, i'm bisexual in a very religious family who would kick me out if they found out.(I am also a Christian, but I don't belive that I would be punished for who I am). I would also have to leave school beacause I go to a Christian school that hates the LGBTA+ community. I already plan on cutting ties with them when I turn 18 because I feel they will be disappointed in me when they find out I'm bi and I don't want them to be hurt. I know it seems like the typical teenager to say this, but they just don't understand. I was wondering if you could maybe help me as far as what I could do because at this point i'm desperate, but also scared and terrified of what will happen.

[ccsmod15]

Re: I don't know what to do

Hello and thanks for reaching out to us at NRS.

It sounds like there’s quite a bit going on in your life, and we appreciate you being brave enough to reach out for help. You mentioned some abuse going on at home. Could your adopted sibling still potentially be a threat to your safety, even though she was told to leave? No one has a right to hurt you – physically, emotionally, or mentally. If you are concerned your sibling may return, we could work with you to come up with a plan to keep you safe. We are here at 1-800-RUNAWAY, and want to help you in any way we can.

Thank you for having the courage to share your sexual orientation with us. It can be hard enough figuring out where we fit in the world, but realizing that who you are is against your parents AND your school values can make things even more stressful. You mentioned that you don’t feel understood at home…do you have anyone that DOES understand you? A friend, or maybe a trusted adult in your life? Finding someone (even if just one) to be open with about these types of things can sometimes take the weight off of our shoulders. Do you still suffer from suicidal thoughts? Is self-harm a way you still cope? If you want to talk openly and confidentially with us, we are here to be a supportive ear.

We would like to offer a few resources in case you find them useful. To Write Love on Her Arms (www.twloha.com) is a website with support and resources for people who self-harm or are feeling suicidal. The National Suicide Hotline (1-800-273-TALK) is also a good resource if you want to talk to someone specifically about suicidal thoughts or feelings. Also, the GLBT National Hotline (1-888-843-4564) may be a good resource is you want to talk about any issues related to being bi in a religious house/school.

Thank you again for reaching out to us. Not knowing where to go or who to turn to can be a very scary feeling, but we want you to know that we are always here at 1-800-RUNAWAY. You do not have to feel alone as you work through this, and we encourage you to call us at any time for help or support.

Best,
NRS